Chanel tells Chad that he doesn’t have to worry about neckbrace, because she was never pregnant! Oh, and she killed her. He wants to see the dead body, of course, but went they go to the meat locker…it isn’t there(of course pt.2)!!! Gigi and the mystery girl Red Devil are celebrating Thanksgiving in the hotel and there’s a moment where you think she’s going to kill Gigi or something, but we all know that prob means nothing. No. 3, my current favorite, goes to her family Thanksgiving which is sad, and leaves to go “home”. When she gets there, she sees Dean slaughtering a turkey and they decide to spend the holiday together. I could maybe be down to clown with this…..but then it turns out Grace and Zayday will be there too. Boner-killer. AND Wes is invited…k.
RADWELL THANKGIVING!!
Chad Michael Murray is here because this show is just fucking with me. I have had like…4 celeb crushes in my life. Not a lot, but all very intense and one of them was Nick Jonas and the other was Chad Michael Murray. This isn’t FAIR. Chad’s mom is played by that one chick I don’t know her name but you know who she is. They all go around and say what they’re thankful for, it’s all disgusting, in walks Hester!!! The neckbrace saved her life! Saw that coming! She tells the fam that she’s pregnant, they are DISGRACED!! Dad Dadwell offers Chanel 50k to go away forever.
Back at orphan Thxgiving, Dean wants to play Guess Who The Killer Is?! & guesses No. 3, who just fires the accusation back at her. The girls are getting on board with it, because they catch her in a bologna lie, and Wes stands up to say something. She tells everyone that he thinks the killer MIGHT BE GRACE. I KID YOU NOT I AM SCREAMING LAUGHING THIS SHOW IS SO BAD. Everyone is talking about why Grace could be the killer when Pete shows up like where the fuck you been, dude???!! The heat is taken off Grace and Pete immediately says he’s SURE the killer is Wes. I have whiplash. The acting in this scene was just painful.
Back at the Sadwell’s it’s time for Dicktionary, where Chad Michael Murray gets “neckbrace whore” and it’s the meanest thing in the world. So mean that Chanel and Hester leave forever!! Who cares if I tried to kill you, Hester. We’re sisters.
Back at Orphan Detective Thanksgiving, we are listening to Pete explain why Wes is the killer, which this is all super annoying..we already know the other Red Devil is Boone’s sister so why are we sitting through this nonsense! I GUESS we sat through it (if you did) because we found out Wes is Boone’s father. Either that or you have to write a recap. Which could mean the killer IS Grace, I guess? I… I don’t even know. Nothing would surprise me at this point.
Back at Kappa, everyone is sitting around the table for a warm and friendly Thanksgiving meal that is probably just that yogurt Jamie Lee Curtis eats to help her poop. It’s super obvious that someone’s head is going to be on that plate. AND IT IS! Gigi’s head is on the plate and she looks like my dog Monster who always has his tongue sticking out. So she actually did kill Gigi! But wouldn’t that mean it has to be someone in the house? Or are they even going to bother to explain how the head ended up there. Other than “dramatic effect”.
Here’s Gigi
Here’s my dog, Monster, wearing a ridiculous but cute tie.
Hey shout out to Awful Eyebrow for commenting on my last recap & calling that Hester’s neckbrace saved her life!! Also shout out to anyone who has ever commented because it’s a really cool thing that everyone should do. Also shout out to everyone who eve reads these. Another cool thing. Remember to share!! I’ll write my full recap tomorrow and I promise you, it’ll be a good one. We have only touched the surface of Chad Michael Murray, let alone no. 5’s weird ear headband she was wearing. Thank you for reading!!