Somehow this amazing season didn’t get recapped [maybe it could be retro-capped??], but there was no way I was going to let it go without at least getting the reunion out – I mean it’s an honest to god on-stage reunion this time!! And let’s get things clear ahead of time so there is no confusion: #TEAMKATE. If you are #teamrocky then you should go pour yourself a bowl of Fruit Loops and watch your SpongeBob DVD while we grownups talk. Also, it’s the holidays and I don’t have time to wait for Bravo to post the show so I can get pics… so I grabbed what I could from the old internets. Now, ready?
Andy: Hi Capt. Hi Emile. Hi Kate. Hi Connie. Hi Amy. Rocky, no diving overboard! Hi Eddie.
Crew: HIIIII.
Andy: Let’s forget all the good stuff for awhile and ask some boring questions. What’s the best and worst thing about yachting?
Amy: Oh you know, traveling the worrrld, visiting great new places…
Rocky: The Crew SUX.
Emile: I’m constipated.
Connie: Tell em how you kicked me out to jerk off every morning, Emile.
Capt: You jerk off your butt?
Andy: No, it’s constipation of the front.
Capt: ARRRRR.
Andy: Rocky, WTF with looking up at the ceiling? Are you not looking at the camera because you’re lying?
Rocky: Butterflies! WEEEEEEE! Dolphins! When I think, I look up. I’m thinking.
Eddie: Let me see if there are butterflies here *looks around*
Rocky: Hey Eddie, Let’s go! Is your girlfriend here? Can I meet her? I’ve got lots to share.
Eddie: Never mind.
Andy: Amy let’s get to the good stuff, What do you think of Kate’s management?
Amy: Well Mr. Andy, she knows her stuff, she gets it done, she does it right, and there is no extra time for anything else. Would you like a mint julep, Mr. Andy?
Rocky: Kate’s a BITCH. And everyone picked on me! WAHH.
Capt: WRONG. I saw Amy attempt to show you what to do, and you were just WHINE WHIINE WHINE. I expected you to set your personal feelings aside and do your damn job like everyone else.
Rocky: I hear that.
Kate: Didn’t I tell you the same thing?
Rocky: I worked my ass off!
Andy: You sure did complain a lot.
Rocky: WHINNNNNE
Kate: Look bitch, I tried showing you how to do the job after you outright lied about having experience and you were all “WHINNNNE I just want a list, you big Meanie!!”
Rocky: So I didn’t do my job, so what?
Kate: So maybe quit all the slandering my professional reputation and character.
Rocky: You’re the best, you’re the Bomb.com, you’re the QUEEN.
Andy: Amy, what’s the story about the laundry room?
Amy: Oh Darling, you have to do so much washing and ironing there! Peace and quiet, Mr. Andy!
Andy: Well it’s also great for sex, but we’ll talk about that later.
Eddie: Phew!
Andy: Connie was new and she did great, while Rocky pretty much sucked the entire season. Was that Kate’s fault?
Eddie: Kate and I are different, I didn’t work with them so I don’t know. But it’s possible I will work with Kate again, so #TEAMKATE.
Rocky: WHINNE
Kate: I lead by example but you were looking up at the ceiling so you never learned anything. I never spoke to you in any of those ways.
Rocky: You’re a bitch! WAAAH. You didn’t want to be my friend!
Kate: We’re not here to make friends, we’re here to do a goddamn job, Ms. Mermaid.
Amy: Now Ms. Rocky certainly is capable of doing the work, but you know, she just didn’t want to. Like how do we motivate her, you knowww?
Andy: What about last season when Kate was mean to Amy? Rocky, why didn’t Amy support you more?
Rocky: I thought Amy was great but then she was all friendzies with Kate, and that’s totally against Mermaid-Code!
Amy: Now see, you’re super crazy, ya knowww? And so it’s nice to be friends with the crazy people, but it’s just not so nice working with them.
Andy: You called Kate a bully on Twitter, was she a bully to you?
Rocky: Kate gets the blue ribbon in hurting feelings, like seriously, she’s the worst.
Capt: AHEM*cough*cough*LOL, ARRRRRRRR.
Andy: Kate, you really do tweet a lot.
Kate: I am, I really enjoy it–
Rocky: Why you such a bitch, Kate? Why you so deep and dark?
Kate: What’s the deepest and darkest I’ve been Rocky? Because–
Rocky: You’ve done so many things–
Kate: TELL ME, I’ll stand behind whatever I’ve tweeted.
Andy: Speaking of tweeting…
@Kate_Chastain: Rocky thinks her job is being sexual with every male on board, there’s a name for that job and it’s not stewardess.