Hi, Trashies! So, this is it! It’s the Dancing With the Stars finale. Honestly, I really couldn’t care less who wins. I’m rooting for Nick only because I want Sharna to win. Other than that, I just don’t care. While Megan Trainor is singing, I think we should watch this instead. It might be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Seriously, watching Derek ham it up is worth it for Julianne just being completely shameless to such a ridiculous song.
I’m so sad it took me months to know that happened. I kind of want to be friends with Julianne now.
First up, it’s the Judges’ Choice dance. Carlos is disappointed that he and Witney are the only remaining couple to not get a perfect score. Bruno shows up at rehearsal to help Carlos improve his foxtrot. Carlos is frustrated, Witney is pleased that they get the chance to show the judges he can master such a difficult dance.
I remember literally no dances from the season, so I have no idea if that was an improvement or not. Seriously, I have no memory of this dance at all. Also, was that even a foxtrot? It almost looked like a tango at times. Julianne calls the dance the sexiest foxtrot that she’s ever seen. Should I foxtrot be sexy at all? Bruno rants about Carlos using Witney and it’s kind of uncomfortable. Carrie Ann, despite her obvious hatred of Carlos, tells him that the dance proved he should be in the finals.
Scores:
Carrie Ann – 10
Julianne – 10
Bruno – 10
30/30
I guess Carrie Ann is making up for last week.
Oh, yeah. Alek is still here. Can he be eliminated now? How the hell did he get a perfect score last week? Anyway, Carrie Ann shows up to rehearsal to inform Alek and Lindsay that they’ll be recreating their rumba. Then there’s something about Alek not being able to be sensual with Lindsay because he still has a crush on Emma. Shut up about Emma and just ask her out already!
That looked like a typical Alek dance. The steps were fine, but there was literally nothing to it. It was doing some movements, but I don’t know if you could call it dancing. Since it’s the finale, the judges will probably just throw some 10s at it because that’s what they do. Bruno can see that Alek applied himself, but there’s a “bit of a but.” There needs to be more hip action and Alek just didn’t have that. Carrie Ann recognizes that Alek’s asset is his strength, but, again, there was barely any hip action. Julianne tries to frame it as a compliment, but she basically just says that literally everyone is surprised that Alek is still here.
Scores:
Carrie Ann – 9
Julianne – 9
Bruno – 9
27/30
To not get a perfect score tonight says a lot.
Yay! Nick and Sharna! Julianne shows up in rehearsal to let them know they’ll be recreating Nick’s jive from the beginning of the season. Rehearsal isn’t really anything interesting at all.
I guess that was better. Like I said, I remember literally nothing from earlier in the season. I’m gonna say it’s better because GO SHARNA! The audience is going insane, so I hope that’s a good sign. Carrie Ann is screaming and yelling and ranting and says it was the most content filled jive on the show. Also, Sharna is a goddess. Duh. Julianne says she’s speechless and then goes on to speak for a little while. It was all good though. Bruno says that he thought something would go wrong, but it didn’t.
Scores:
Carrie Ann – 10
Julianne – 10
Bruno – 10
30/30
Good. After those critiques, they really couldn’t give anything else.
Last up, it’s Bindi and Derek and Carrie Ann shows up to work with them on their quickstep. Derek is choosing to follow the rules because the last time he did this dance in the finals was with Shawn Johnson and they got ripped apart for the lack of quickstep content. Also, this week, Derek is really sick. Good.
Yay! I love the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies. This is seriously one of my favorite songs. Oh, and the dance was good because Bindi really is the one to beat this season. Julianne says that the dances seem really long this week and the quickstep is super hard when it comes to stamina. However, Bindi is the Energizer Bunny. Also, the dance was still super creative even without breaking the hold. Bruno calls the dance “a gem of a quickstep.” Carrie Ann basically just says, “What they said!” Also, Bindi’s dancing makes her a better person. I have to go vomit now.
Scores:
Carrie Ann – 10
Julianne – 10
Bruno – 10
30/30
I didn’t even bother to listen to the scores before I typed that out.