This finale episode started out with something we have never gotten before: answers!! And a lot of them!! SO basically I’ll wrap up what Pete had to say…
Pete was a Red Devil killer, yes. He saw it was Boone a long time ago, back when other cop was murdered. But Boone convinced Pete that he was doing the right thing and Kappa is evil and Pete is CRAZY, you guys. But who did Pete kill? Roger. Or doger, doesn’t matter. The one that got stapled in the face. He also killed Boone!! Then he decided to call it quits. After shooting Chanel with a crossbow and stuff but that was self defense. Grace is disgusted and leaves, while Pete goes to the bathroom not realizing his microphone is on, and confesses to murdering all of them. Ah, shit, I confused Pete with Robert Durst again. He just said “spoiler alert, it’s one of your sisters”, Grace turns back around the corner and Pete tries to tell her who it is, and is killed. Duh.
Now we have super cool special effects of reading Chanel’s rude email to the minions. The words were being posted all over the place as she read them aloud but oh my god I got over it so quick. The email was incredibly rude and obviously got forwarded because one of the girls is the Red Devil. Chanel is being tormented to the point of saying “I need to kill myself”. Shouldn’t people be mad at her for the whole attempted murder thing she admitted to in the email? Priorities.
Chanel is trying to kill herself by sitting in bed next to a snake in a box when Zayday walks in wearing a bad bad hat (yes, Zayday, not Grace). Zayday convinces Chanel to stay alive so they can team up and find the killer. As soon as this happens, the Red Devil shows up. They get the mask off and it’s some dude we’ve never seen before, screaming “she made me do it!”. They drag him into the common area where the other Chanel’s are. Hester is freaking out because she saw some girl with a shawl over her face, weird scars, and shovel. Chanel ignores it even though that’s totally spray tan girl, right? I’m calling it now, even though by the time you read this, you guys will already know the answer. And if I’m wrong, I’ll come back and erase this sentence so I look smarter than I am. Though I’m not sure smart has much to do with a Ryan Murphy production. Oh yeah so pizza guy explodes.
Abigail Breslin is being obnoxious, I covered my ears so I didn’t what she was whining about. Chanel tells her to shut up thank GOD, because she wants to clear her name by making an apology tour. First stop, spray tan girl! What did I JUUUUST say?! Grace and Wes talk over some whiskey, Wes weirdly defends after finding out he was a murderer that nearly had sex with his daughter? Maybe Wes was the devil in the closet aka the reason Grace didn’t die? Hmmm?
Wes is “taking one for the team” and seducing Dean, this works(?). The Chanels go to visit Melany spraytan and the environment is super strange. Hester stays back and smells things in Chanel’s closet. Grace and Zayday are doing research and I can’t even get into details about how little sense they are making, but they figure out that someone’s finale is totally fake. Conveniently, No. 5’s phone goes off and she disappears claiming someone finally swiped right on her. She gives a menacing glare. Called it.
Wes tells Dean that was the best sex he’s ever had and he wants to be together. Dean is like welllll get rid of Grace and mkay. The Chanels go to see Melany and instead of apologizing, Chanel tries to kill her for being the murderer when Grace and Zayday rush in saying don’t kill her because: Hester is the killer!!! Chanel says “so sorry” and her was actually hilarious. See, giving Emma Roberts anything besides screaming and she’s SO GOOD. EMMA ROBERTS IS SO GOOD AT ACTING. UGH. No. 5 is back at Kappa too because her tinder date was fake oooooooookay. They’re trying to sneak up on Hester who is obviously dead. She points at No. 5!! I’m pretty sure she stabbed herself though.
I’ve been thinking it was No. 5 but now I don’t anymore. Because it would make sense. That’s what this show has done to me.
PART TWOOOOOOOOOOOO
Skip to January 2016: Zayday and Grace are running Kappa and all is good. Hester has an eyepatch and guess what? IT WAS HESTER. IT WAS HESTER IT WAS HESTER. Honestly I should have known this from the start simply because of COURSE Ryan Murphy was going to make it Lea Michele.
