Hiya, Trashies Trashies Bo Bashies Banana Fana Fo Fashies Mi My Mo Mashies Trashies, do you know the word?
Nope, that’s not the word, you freaks! The word is “FINALE”!!!
It’s that time of the season. The time where we either all jump for joy, or groan in agony. When the people we’ve been liking, hating, or feeling indifferent to (there’ve been a fair share of those latter two this season — far less of the first) all cross the finish line and one of them goes home a million dollars richer, and then gets arrested for tax evasion, gets fat, and then goes on another reality show. Oops — wrong show.
We get our season recap, seeing old friends in Skillz That Killz and NotCharla, old enemies in Mama Dean, Funny’s Cousins, and BroCode, and old idiots in Team Hep, BroCode, and the PomPoms (yeah, BroCode was listed twice. What of it?). We’re reminded of the teams that we have left. The Bad, in Morning Commute (technically, they’re a good team, but Marcel drives many of us nuts), the Worse in the constantly-fighting Big Droppers, and the Boring in Quahog 5 (who are dull as dishwater, but at least I don’t actively dislike either of them). We’re also reminded that Big Droppers won the last leg, and that Quahog 5 are always the bridesmaids, following (mostly) the “bride team” of Morning Commute.
The teams are finally leaving Macau, with the Big Droppers actually leaving first at 3:54am, Quahog 5 leaving exactly one minute later, and Morning Commute leaving a huge hour and a half later. It’s a moo point (like a cow’s opinion. It’s moo.), though, since they’re all taking the same flight to Long Island, New York. While they’re waiting, Big Droppers and Quahog 5 are talking about Morning Commute’s over-confidence. Case in point — MC proceed to say that they (MC) will finish first, Quahog 5 will finish second, and Big Droppers “may not even finish”.
They’re on the plane and take off, which is where we start this final leg of…
Through the magic of editing, they’re immediately in New York (which is great… could you imagine being on a plane with Marcel for 10 hours?), and all heading to Randall’s Island (a NY Fire Department training facility) via cab for the…
Road Block: Fire Drill. In this road block, they need to climb a ladder into a burning building (fully dressed in fire gear with oxygen tanks) and “rescue” a training dummy inside. When they complete it, they’ll need to complete their first memory exercise — arranging fire helmets with the names of capitals of nations visited on the race.
When they arrive, MC ask their cabby to stay, per an earlier agreement, for $100, but the cabby seems to want more money, so they let him go (with no tip — if there was an earlier agreement, I can’t really fault them here). Meanwhile, Big Droppers (who show up seconds later) have a cabby that decides to stay. Quahog 5 shows up a few minutes later (the other guys are still getting dressed). All three males are doing the task, with Tom from Quahog 5 news following just slightly behind the other two (maybe a minute or two, nothing insurmountable). Both Marcel and Big Spender get their dummies outside, with Big Spender giving us yet another reason for his team name…
The reason why Ms Name Dropper now carries HIM to the bedroom
Marcel gets to his helmets first, and cruises through them quickly, getting them right the first time, and takes off running. However, they immediately go down in my opinion by trying to snag one of the two cabs that are already waiting for the other two teams. For some really weird reason, them asking manages to piss off the driver of the Big Droppers’ cab, who then decides to go home. This scene literally makes zero sense — though maybe Big Droppers’ cabby had a reunion at Greendale Community College (he looks quite a bit like Luis Guzman), leaving only Quahog 5’s cab waiting.
Cousins, at very least
Big Spender and Tom from Quahog 5 News both have errors at first, with Tom quickly correcting his and heading off to their WAITING cab. Big Spender finishes a second later, and are wandering around wondering where their cab is (rightfully so). They then get into Quahog 5’s cab (again — editing makes this very weird), who won’t take them, and Quahog 5 arrive, telling them to get the hell out of their cab. To their credit, the Big Droppers do… though Ms Name Dropper is wondering why. (They don’t really have information on who made what agreements… though I assume that Quahog 5’s cabby still has the meter running for them, which means that it’s technically still their cab).