Celebitchy – Rocco Ritchie “Ran Away” From Madonna’s Tour Twice After “Bad Shouting Matches”
Uh-oh. Looks like Rocco ran as fast as his teenage legs and American Express Black Card would take him away from his mom’s Skeletor-like, yoga arms icy grip and back to cool dad in England. Is Guy Ritchie still cool after The Man From Uncle? Well, I guess anything is better than having to work on Madonna’s tour watching his mother bathe in the blood of young back-up dancers.
DListed – Scott Disick and Chris Brown Are Each Other’s Sober Companions
Ragehole Fisticuffs and Kardashian Kast-Off are Drunk Dick Dads. Coming to your newsfeed in 2016. Stay for the entitled douchebag antics and stay for the police intervention. Fun for the whole family!
People – Miranda Lambert Follows Gwen Stefani on Twitter
Like, OH MY GOD. This is TOTES crazy. Do you think Miranda is going to start shit? Is this part of a larger revenge plan where she retweets one of Gwen’s tweets and pretends to be nice until she’s all MEAN TWEET? If Miranda starts her own Harajuku Girl Pinterest board we’ll know shit is about to get real.
I know it’s a slow news week but C’MON, People.
TMZ – Lemmy: Motorhead Frontman Dead
Now you know why your creepy neighbor with the mullet wearing a leather vest that drives a windowless van with a buxom viking woman painted on the side was crying. RIP, old metal guy.
The Hollywood Sigh – Daisy Fuentes and Richard Marx Married in Aspen
Who? Gather round children because this here is what happens when 80s and 90s Trivial Pursuit Questions collide. The most shocking thing is not that the wedding of these two has-beens is being reported on gossip sites, but that their union is GASP age appropriate! In Hollywood! Wonders will never cease. Now let’s all do our best drunken karaoke rendition of “Hold Onto the Nights” for these two crazy MTV relics (who by the way, kind of look great).