Hey!! I’m baaaack!! I know. You don’t care. I asked Santa for a Heroes episode that wouldn’t be stupid and bore me to tears and he actually answered my plea. Any bribery involving liquor usually works. But Happy New Year, all! Have you blown all your resolutions to smithereens? Me too. Let ‘s get to it, shall we?
Melina and Chuck (wrong TV series) – I mean Luke, have arrived at a sporting goods store in Missouri , having managed to escape traffic gridlock and a lynch mob unscathed. They briefly discuss Noah’s strange disappearance as Luke shops for a gun. They’re in the aisle next to the energy bars. Background check, anyone? Malina doesn’t need a gun because, as she says, she has “24 hour power”. Yay. Also, this scene is totally fake because a): no one is staring transfixed into their cell phone and b): no Starbucks. Even in a national crisis, Starbucks is still crack to the masses. Am I right?
I wonder if they take coupons?
Gee! It’s Harris Prime! Or one of his thousands of clones. That’s a lots of severed thumbs out there. (Read one of my earlier recaps for that explanation.) Two clones are taking Quentin and that miserable, teenaged, greasy-haired, pudgy-faced brat Phoebe to find Malina. Phoebe wants to “kill that little bitch”. First of all, wash your mouth out with soap, young lady. Quentin suggest that perhaps killing Melina is not such a good idea, but that not of Erica’s plan. I feel sorry for Quentin; he’s got to go along to get along, you know? Harris has deduced that Melina is headed for Midian to find Tommy, and has used GPS to calculate an interception point. Out of ALL the hundreds of routes Luke and Melina could have taken. Right. No accounting for traffic jams, or closed roads, etc. Harris is just a really good guesser. If you’re not busy, Harris, there’s a Powerball drawing on Wednesday.. They chase the pair into a field where Phoebe and her tentacles of doom do their dirty work. Luke orders Melina to hide in a barn, does she listen? Of course not. Phoebe and Quentin corner Melina in a conveniently placed open area. Funny that Melina can’t hear the siblings squabble in a quiet cornfield. Harris arrives, but the bad guys hesitate just long enough for Luke to shoot the clone and crack Phoebe across the face. Boy, that was satisfying. Quentin recognizes Luke from Primatech (way back in the first or second episode). Quentin asks where Noah is, and I just want Luke to shoot Phoebe in the head. But I suppose he’s sick of killing and instead immobilizes her with some funky nose jewelry. I forgot about the nose shunts. LOL They all return to the barn where Luke asks about Tommy. Quentin reveals that Tommy took Erica to the future and that Tommy has switched sides. Phoebe and her pig snout are not happy.
I wonder if they sell these at the piercing shop on South Street in Philly?
The actress who plays Phoebe is a good glarer. I wonder if she put that on her acting resume. As they bicker amongst themselves, we have all forgotten that there were TWO clones in the car..
Nine thousand-ish years into the future, Miko and Tommy have transported themselves in a huge greenhouse. Tommy, who appears to have forgotten his iPhone, didn’t forget that French comic book he picked up in Paris. He recognizes her as Katana Girl. I can tell he wants to ask for an autograph. Okay – let’s stop here. If Tommy wants to know what’s going to happen in the future, who to trust, etc., etc., why the hell doesn’t he read the comic book in the first place? Miko does and finds out her job is to take on a clone army at SunStone Manor. She leaves Tommy her hair ribbon as proof to Erica that he defeated her. At the same time, Erica sends for Otomo and threatens him with the death of his real daughter (hooked up to the Gateway computer) if he doesn’t fix the Digital Fortress ipso-pronto. BTW – the green screen is so obvious in these scenes.. Erica is fooled, and asks Tommy to transport them back to Odessa so he can help SAVE THE WORLD! Teenagers are so friggin’ dumb sometimes.
Green screen obvious
Let’s return to SunStone Manor, where the grass is green and all the Evos have weird implants in their necks which make them zombies. Bad guy Evo Matt Parkman is spewing happy-happy joy-joy rhetoric from loudspeakers to all his prisoners. Carlos, Farah, Taylor & Rene exchange information and split up to find Jose, the priest and Micah and do something about the cockroach swarm of clones. Carlos and Farah dispatch some clones. They find the media room and and take out the communications system. Carlos also finds his bat costume. Thanks for the shirtless shot, NBC. Taylor and Rene find Matt in his office. Although it appears Rene can disrupt Matt’s power, he’s too stupid to use it properly.