Hark, Trashies! So here we are, at the finale of season 2. Before we start, I want to thank all you little bastard babies for joining me this season — you are all special to me, each and every one!
Okay — on with it, shall we?
We open with Brandon Boone, coldly executing the assassination of Prince Robert. As per orders, which came from within the palace, he mans the remote controls that bring down His Royal Highness’ plane.
“Okay, maybe I feel a little guilty…?”
Back at the palace, Queen Helena is having a Royal Flashback of little Prince Robert, who — in a major feat of foreshadowing — is playing “plane crash” with a paper airplane.
“NNnnneeeeeeeeaaaaawwww… p-KUSH!!!”
It’s the day the twins are being born, and — after smashing up his plane — the tiny Crown Prince trots off with a palace aide, to greet them for the first time. Queen Helena shares the memory with Rachel.
She says they kept it a secret that they were having twins. “Those were the kind of secrets we kept then,” she sighs. That, and the fact that she was boffing so many other guys, she had no idea who their father was — yes indeed, times were simpler then…
Meanwhile, Liam is in his room getting all dolled up. He dons a natty suit, topped off with a pair of killer diamond cufflinks. Before buttoning up, he tucks a gun into his jacket pocket.
Now we flash back to a couple days prior. Jasper has invited Liam to the bunker surveillance room, to show the video of Qua stabbing King Simon. He locks Liam in, so he won’t do anything rash in the heat of the moment. After viewing the tape, Liam pounds on the door in a rage, and then breaks down in despair.
Meanwhile, Queen Helena — dripping with diamonds (you GO, girl!) — presents King Cyrus with a stuffed tiger that had been Prince Robert’s favorite toy. Cyrus is surprised by the peace offering.
“Eeww…”
He says he won’t be attending the King’s Cup, as he plans to get married while it’s going on. Puzzled, he asks, “Why aren’t you fighting me?” She says, “Fighting got me nowhere. Rather, it got me here, to this place — one and the same.”
…