Okay K-fans – I don’t understand the title of this episode, but then I don’t understand most of anything this krazy family does. The “fear of the unknown” relates to Miss Ellie – unknown how much Vodka it will take to get through this recap!!
At Kris’s house, Kim is organizing North’s closet, which used to be Kylie’s. Kris comes in and reads a poem Kylie wrote when she was little. It makes Kris cry. She’s so sentimental. The self-portrait of Kylie is god-awful.
Kylie (pre-plastic surgery)
Kylie is doing a photo shoot for her lip kit launching. She explains that there has always been so much attention about her lips – whenever she mentions what lip lining she uses it would sell out — so she decided to capitalize on it. Caitlyn shows up. Caitlyn tries to find a “camera-ready” look. Caitlyn says she doesn’t know what “her look” is yet. Kylie likes doing girlie stuff with Caitlyn – they get along better now ever before.
ASS shot
Camera-ready look? NOT
Kris, Kourtney, and Kim at Kris’ house and the girls are talking about Kris as if she isn’t present. Kris says it feels like she’s in an old-age home where she is senile and they are talking about her as if she’s not there and making life and death decisions about her. Kris later says she visited a doctor who does DNA testing (with a simple blood test) to see if people are pre-deposed to cancer. She has arranged to have the guy come to test everyone while they are all together the next day at (yet another) photo shoot. Kris’s mother has had cancer and so it’s in the family. She will use the excuse to go see MJ while she goes to pick up the results in La Jolla. (She can’t go see her mother under regular circumstances?)
The photo shoot is a Goth shoot. Khloe asks who picked this theme? It is stated that Kim decided. Khloe asks does anyone question Kim or just do what she dictates. (Hello … is she new to this family?!?!?) They all have black wigs except Khloe, who has her regular highlighted golden hair.
People from Pathway Genomics are there to draw blood in order to look in their blood stream for genetic mutations for certain cancers – to look for markers. Everyone gets the blood test except for Khloe who is afraid of tests and always has been. Why didn’t Kris tell them about this ahead of time? Khloe says she doesn’t have time. Kris explains to the camera that Khloe needs to have it done more than the others because she had a “brush with skin cancer”. Khloe this time whispers she doesn’t have time. But she agrees to the saliva test as long as they don’t draw blood. The guy comes and says it will take a few minutes. She backtracks and says she doesn’t have time – she can’t be late (for what?) They talk about how MJ (Kris’ mom) has had both breast and colon cancer. But Khloe still declines the test.
Is Khloe holding Lamar’s love child?
Kylie and Kendall are at Caitlyn’s. They say they know she has gas (from eating beans?) but it turns out they mean gasoline. They need it in their car — they drove up on empty. (Actually, Kylie says, and it’s pretty funny: “I’m on E.”) Caitlyn puts the gas in the Rolls Royce. (Nice!) Kendall asks to ride Caitlyn’s Polaris. (I’m not making a joke here.) But it has no charge, so no. They ask if she uses her helicopters anymore, but she says she’s so busy she hasn’t had the time. (This is the weirdest conversation.) Kendall asks if all the “Bruce” things are gone. She misses the connection with her dad – it’s why she was a tomboy. But now she feels that Caitlyn and Kylie are bonding about hair and make-up things and she feels left out.
Now we go to the nude photo shoot Kourtney is doing for a fine art gallery. The photographer says if she’s not blown away with the finished pictures, they won’t do it. Kourtney feels that since she’s lost weight her ass has disappeared (I think Kim knows where it went). The photographer says he’ll make it look good – the sisters will be jealous of her ass. Kylie shows up at the shoot and says that Kourtney is her favorite sister right now. She’s focusing on herself (Kylie can get behind that) and laughing again and being the way she was five years ago. All of the shots taken are ass shots.
Kim is over at Kourtney’s looking at her photos from the shoot. Kourtney explains it’s not a nude shoot because they only showed her ass. Kim says Kourtney is like the old Kourtney. Kim explains that Kourtney carried the weight of Scott’s issues for so long that it affected her personality. But Kourtney is loving life now.
Kris is at Khloe’s. Khloe is wearing a ridiculous hoodie/pajama thing with stars on it. Kris wants her to get the DNA testing. Khloe says she doesn’t care if she lives or dies, they are all going to die someday. It’s not in her soul to do it. She explains the reason why she’s reluctant is because her dad’s cancer got so much worse once it was diagnosed. “When you know, it gets worse.” She’s not going to live her life in fear.
Kim and Jonathon are out doing guess what? Eating. (As much as she eats “on camera” imagine how much she eats in private time.) Kim is eating and talking with her mouth full (thanks for that, Carol!). Kim says she feels run down (God — she has been so lazy during this pregnancy) but she says these are the last few months of just her and North. Jonathon says everyone will be so nuts over the new boy, isn’t she worried about North? Kim says “She’s North West, she will be fine.” (Cue substance abuse centers in 2029). Jonathan asks about Scott and Kourtney. Kim says that Scott and Kris had a meeting, but he bailed on her saying he was sick and then Kylie and Tyga see him at a party that day. Kim says Scott had it all, but threw it away.
Eating
Eating
And more eating
At Khloe’s house – she has another weird hoodie outfit on. What’s up with that and why is she covering her hair in all these scenes? Kim calls and asks Khloe why she doesn’t want to do the genomics test. Khloe says: “When you know, you die faster… “She wants to live life and be free. She doesn’t want to be “FORCED” especially by Kris and Kim. However, in the next scene a medical engineer from Pathway Genomics is there to have Khloe take the blood test. Khloe explains that she doesn’t want MJ to worry about her. So she’s doing it for MJ. Kim asks the genetic engineer if it’s for the current situation. The engineer says no, your genes remain the same, so if you are pre-deposed you are pre-deposed. (This really shows how stupid Kim really is.)
Khloe — why are you hiding your hair?
ASS shot
Now a scene at Kourtney’s which is the same scene from three episodes ago. Kourtney mentions she’s going to Montana and taking Reign. The other kids will be going to San Diego with Kim and Khloe for the blood results.
Kendall and Kylie are at their airport at 4:00 am for some reason. Kendall complains that Kylie is on the phone too much – and that it is a waste of her life. Kendall says she misses doing the boyish things with her dad and how she she’s jealous that Kylie does so much with Caitlyn now. Kendall doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, but she misses the adventures she had with Bruce.
So the gang is going to San Diego to get the test results and possibly see MJ while they are there. Khloe and Kim are driving Penelope and North and Mason. Kris and Corey are going separately in their own car. Khloe says being in the car with three toddlers is the best birth control. In the car, Kim discovers a grey hair. And takes a selfie.
They discuss how erratic Scott’s behavior is. One day he comes over crying and says he misses everyone and then he disappears for days on end. Then he sends text messages saying to tell the kids he loves them. Khloe is concerned about him. (Folks, this is foreshadowing.)
Kim’s hand in the bag of food. Yep. Eating again.
Kylie is driving and on the phone with Caitlyn telling her how Kendall feels. Caitlyn says she’s just been working too much, but she hasn’t given that adventure stuff up. Caitlyn says she needs to talk to Kendall.
Kylie– this is NOT how to wear your seat belt
In San Diego, we meet family friend and plastic surgeon Dr. Nassif. (I bet he has really benefitted from that family – or at least his plastic surgery practice has!) He explains that he is so passionate about Pathway Genomics. He came to help them read the results of the DNA testing. He reports they are all negative for the breast cancer gene.
Thanks, Kris, for all the business
Khloe’s other ASSets
Even Corey had a personal profile done
MJ will be glad Corey doesn’t have her genes
Caitlyn is at Kendall’s condo. Caitlyn says Kylie told her that she was upset they weren’t spending time together. Kendall explains it is not that, it’s the time they spend now is different than before and she misses the old times. Caitlyn is bonding more with Kylie over make-up and hair and not doing the sports things that Kendall loves. . Caitlyn says she’s got plans for doing that and wants to do it with her. Stables, four wheelers, etc. Caitlyn tells Kendall to talk directly with her in the future.
MJ is with the family in San Diego. Yay – she got to see them! Kourtney calls, she’s at Old Faithful. MJ says she thinks Kris is allergic to two things: Botox and alcohol. Kris says how can she be allergic to the two things that make her world go round?
I swear, his penis was this big
Khloe calls to tell Kim and Kris that Scott sent her a text message saying that he can’t take it anymore. So Kourtney calls Scott and has him on speaker phone with all of them. He is crying. They can’t get hold of Kourtney because she’s on a flight home from Montana. Scott says he never will love anyone more than Kourtney but she doesn’t love him anymore. Khloe assures him she does, but he needs to get his life together. He says she wants his life to be over. They realize he’s in NYC, so Kris calls a friend, Chris Reda, who is in NYC and tells him to get to Scott ASAP and if he cannot get in the room where Scott is to call 911. And text her back to let her know what happens.
The friend gets in the room and reports that Scott doesn’t look sick, just super depressed and out of it. Chris says he was crying like crazy and he has never seen Scott like this. Kris says he either needs to be a dad and be a part of their lives, or not. He needs to come home and be consistent. They compliment Khloe on keeping it going while on the phone with Scott.
Public Service Announcement
Next episode: More Scott drama. Kourtney hits Kris in the face with a pie and dunks her with water. Khloe complains that Kris is making her work 12- hour days and that it is too stressful.
Well, folks, what did you think of this episode? Will Kim ever stop eating? Will Scott ever “be consistent”? Will the family do any other photo shoots? Sound off in the comments below.
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