Greetings, Trashsters. It’s time for another episode of “Million Dollar Listing LA,” or, as I like to call it, “Two Pretty Awesome Guys And The Biggest Douche Canoe Of All Time.” Last week’s episode was a little bit boring. Hopefully that means there is plenty of drama in store for us this week. Also, we haven’t seen Edith in a while. I’m sad and I miss her. Anyway, let’s get right to the show! And we have to start with the Altman brothers. Can we just not? I’m a little bit hungover right now and I ate fast food for the first time in years, so my stomach is already angry at me. I don’t need Josh A. to make it worse. I’ll be right back. Time to take a shot of Pepto. Blech. Matt comes in and Josh lets him know that they have an offer on the unfinished spec house. Unfortunately, the offer is only for $8.7 million and the house is listed for $9.9 million. Josh is hoping that Warren (the seller) will be open to this deal since he has another project that could use this kind of cash. He wants to come back with an offer that’s just under $9.5 million because it will show that they are real sellers, but not desperate. Josh knows the potential buyer and he’s looking at houses in the $11 million range, so he can afford this one. Then Matt makes me fall in love with him a little bit because he compares Josh to Rain Man. Josh tells us that he and Matt have to very different selling styles. Matt is more “by the book” while Josh is “outside the box.” I think that translates to Matt is secure in his selling abilities while Josh is desperate for approval from everyone and relies on gimmicks to make sales. For some reason, these two can’t have a discussion about a counter offer without using a board to make a football field. I’m not sure what the point of that visual aid was. Let’s head on over to Malibu with Madison! He’s having a listing meeting with Sharon at a house on Serra Road. I think it’s spelled that way. I tried to look it up also using “Sarah.” I don’t know anything about Malibu, so feel free to correct me if I’m wrong. Although the landscaping is gorgeous, deer have been coming by and eating everything. Being an eastern PA native, I know how that is. Bambi is a bastard. Sharon tells Madison that she has to sell the house in three months because her private loan for construction is coming due at an 11.99% interest rate. Damn. Was she borrowing money from some crime family? At that cost, I’d probably prefer someone just break my kneecaps. But the house is almost awesome enough for it to be worth it. Sharon’s bottom line is $3 million and Madison thinks that would be doable. He wants to list at $3.275 […]
Greetings, Trashsters. It’s time for another episode of “Million Dollar Listing LA,” or, as I like to call it, “Two Pretty Awesome Guys And The Biggest Douche Canoe Of All Time.” Last week’s episode was a little bit boring. Hopefully that means there is plenty of drama in store for us this week. Also, we haven’t seen Edith in a while. I’m sad and I miss her. Anyway, let’s get right to the show! And we have to start with the Altman brothers. Can we just not? I’m a little bit hungover right now and I ate fast food for the first time in years, so my stomach is already angry at me. I don’t need Josh A. to make it worse. I’ll be right back. Time to take a shot of Pepto. Blech. Matt comes in and Josh lets him know that they have an offer on the unfinished spec house. Unfortunately, the offer is only for $8.7 million and the house is listed for $9.9 million. Josh is hoping that Warren (the seller) will be open to this deal since he has another project that could use this kind of cash. He wants to come back with an offer that’s just under $9.5 million because it will show that they are real sellers, but not desperate. Josh knows the potential buyer and he’s looking at houses in the $11 million range, so he can afford this one. Then Matt makes me fall in love with him a little bit because he compares Josh to Rain Man. Josh tells us that he and Matt have to very different selling styles. Matt is more “by the book” while Josh is “outside the box.” I think that translates to Matt is secure in his selling abilities while Josh is desperate for approval from everyone and relies on gimmicks to make sales. For some reason, these two can’t have a discussion about a counter offer without using a board to make a football field. I’m not sure what the point of that visual aid was. Let’s head on over to Malibu with Madison! He’s having a listing meeting with Sharon at a house on Serra Road. I think it’s spelled that way. I tried to look it up also using “Sarah.” I don’t know anything about Malibu, so feel free to correct me if I’m wrong. Although the landscaping is gorgeous, deer have been coming by and eating everything. Being an eastern PA native, I know how that is. Bambi is a bastard. Sharon tells Madison that she has to sell the house in three months because her private loan for construction is coming due at an 11.99% interest rate. Damn. Was she borrowing money from some crime family? At that cost, I’d probably prefer someone just break my kneecaps. But the house is almost awesome enough for it to be worth it. Sharon’s bottom line is $3 million and Madison thinks that would be doable. He wants to list at $3.275 […]