Well, I guess that episode was okay. It was kind of boring. Psych! That shit was sick! I loved it. I may have been slow clapping at the end of it. Also, I may have been buzzed on champagne. Before we get started here, I just want to post a lil spoiler alert. I know some of you read this to see if the episode is worth watching. To those people – It’s worth it. Get off of the internet and go watch it. And then, obviously, come back and read this.
First of all, welcome back trash bags! And what a welcome it was. Personally, I think this show is at its best when it follows the comic book storyline and tonight’s episode is a shining example of that, particularly moments such as the fighting montage sequence. I hate to be one of those annoying ass people that constantly makes comparisons between the show and the source material, but it’s just more fun when it follows the comic. The campier, the better, in my opinion. I hope the writers keep this kind of shit up. Unfortunately, I foresee a slew of boring eps between now and the finale. But that remains to be seen. For now, let’s talk about this fantastic episode.
We open with Daryl, Abe, and Sasha being accosted by Negan’s biker gang. The leader of this crew disarms the trio. One of the bikers escorts Daryl to the back of the tanker to loot for supplies. Not smart, dude. Hilariously, Abraham asks the gang “Who’s Negan?”, mirroring his hilarious “Who’s Deanna?” line. I love Abe so much, you guys. Abe’s curiosity pisses the gang off, and they decide that they are going to kill Abe and Sasha. We all know that’s not gonna happen so Daryl blows them all away with the rocket launcher. And it was awesome.
BOOM MOTHERFUCKAS!
Back in Alexandria, Rick is still leading his group through the streets, covered in zombie guts. I guess we are just gonna pretend the whole “MOM?MOM?MOM?” thing never happened. It’s all going pretty well until Rick pulls them aside for a team meeting. He thinks that there are too many zombies for the armory plan to work, so he has a better idea. He wants them to head to their vehicles, and use them to round up the zombies and herd them away like sheep. Ya know, the same plan that went HORRIBLY WRONG a few episodes back. Everyone agrees with this ill-conceived plan, but they think it’s too dangerous for baby Jude. Father Gabe offers to take Judy back to his church and keep her safe. Incredulously, Rick allows this.
Baby Jude faces the dawning realization that she is screwed
Jessie wants Sam to go with Fr. Gabriel as well but Sam refuses. He wants to stay with his mom. They argue for a while until Jessie relents and allows Sam to stay with her, despite the fact that he is a major fucking liability. Good parenting, Jessie! I’m sure this will turn out just fine.
Glenn and Enid have made it inside the church and they are searching it for weapons and supplies. Glenn is coming up with a plan to save Maggie and her embryo. Despite the fact that the town is overrun with zombies and that Maggie is on a rickety platform that is seconds away from collapsing, Enid decides that this is the perfect time for a deep convo with Glenn. He tells her that people keep loved ones alive in memory by being who they are.
Fuck Enid and her tiresome questions! BABY GLENN IS IN DANGER!!
Apparently, Glenn’s sweet but trite reassurances have convinced Enid to help save Maggie. Great. I still think Enid is the worst.
Rick is leading Michonne, Carl, Jessie, Ron, and Sam through the horde. Suddenly, Sam starts remembering all of that crazy shit Carol told him about zombies tearing him limb to limb and eating him. He sees a child zombie and it sends him over the edge. He stops walking and refuses to go on. Of course, this could have all been avoided if Jessie would have just made his ass go to the church. Rick and the others try to convince Sam to keep going, but he just stands there crying like a bitch. Obviously, zombies attack him and they eat his face off. Jessie starts to scream so zombies eat her too. I’m sad about this only because now Carl will never get his desperately needed haircut. On the other hand, now Rick is free to finally hook up with Michonne. As Jessie is being eaten by zombs, she maintains her tight grip on Carl’s hand. Naturally, Rick decides to chop her hand off with his axe to free Carl. I just fall more and more in love with Rick each episode. I really do. Ron doesn’t take the death of his family very well and he pulls a gun on Rick. He is a little asshole but in his defense, Rick did kind of fuck his whole world up. As Ron shoots, Michonne katanas him in the back and it is glorious!
I haven’t cheered child murder this hard since Joffrey died
Unfortunately, Ron got a shot off and it hit Carl in the eye. Goddammit Ron! You suck so hard. You didn’t even shoot the stupid fucking hat off his head!
On the bright side, Carl is so much more badass now that he’s a cyclops
This whole sequence was great and I loved it. My one beef is that the writers did not make me give one fuck about Jessie or her kids, so I wasn’t emotionally invested in their deaths. I realize that it is difficult to give every member of a huge cast decent characterization, but it’s not impossible. Shows like The Wire, Game of Thrones, Deadwood, and pretty much every other HBO joint have done it successfully. However, I can forgive all of this because this episode was just that good.
Denise and the plaque riddled Wolf dude are trapped by the zombies. They see a gap in the horde and decide to make a run for the guard tower. As they run, Denise gets attacked by a zomb and Old Yellow saves her. In the process, he gets bitten on the arm. Denise tells him to get her to the infirmary and she will save his life, presumably by chopping off his arm.
While you’re doing that, maybe you can do something about those teeth. I know you’re not a dentist, but you’re not really a doctor either.
Back at Morgan’s house, he is trying to make peace with Carol. She ain’t having it. Carol says “I should have killed you”. Morgan tells her that she can’t. Unfortunately, that seems to be true.
Denise and the Wolf dude, apparently now BFF, make their way to the infirmary. As they are running, Carol pops out of nowhere and shoots the Wolf dude, killing him. HAHAHAHAHA! She’s the best. Denise escapes to the infirmary.
Carol just took out more gingivitis than Listerine
Rick and Michonne arrive at the infirmary with Carl. Rick asks Denise to please save him (awwww). Denise jumps into action.
Don’t worry guys. I got this. I’m a psychiatrist.
As everyone runs around, trying to save Carl’s life, Rick rages out and decides to go back out and kill the zombies. ALL OF THE ZOMBIES. BY HIMSELF. As you do. Incredulously, Rick thinks that he’s gonna take the entire horde out with just his axe. This motherfucker is crazy. And I love it. Also, I love how Rick does INSANE things on the regular and everyone is just fine with it. Michonne, Heath, Aaron, and Spencer follow Rick outside to help him, because RICK. The other Alexandrians see the gang fighting the zombies, and many of them come out to help, including Father Gabriel.
He kicks ass for the Lord!
Carol notices the people fighting in the streets and she tells the others “Rick’s making a stand”. I literally LOLed at this. YEAH HE IS, that fucking psycho. She, Rosita, Tara, Morgan, and Eugene head out to join the fight. You go Eugene! You cut that mullet off and I might even like you.
Of course, once they are outside, Morgan comes face to face with the zombiefied Wolf dude and he must kill him. Sigh. Symbolism is supposed to be subtle, show.
Glenn and Enid are making their move. Enid climbs up the platform to save Maggie while Glenn fires some shots to pull the zombs away. Maggie sees Glenn and it’s really cute. You know, except that he’s totally about to die. He is surrounded by zombies and there are no dumpsters in sight. It’s not looking good until Abe and Sasha show up and start blasting the zombies away with machine guns. Abe is fucking thrilled that he got to slay some zombies and he’s being his usual hilarious, awesome self. Inexplicably, none of the hundreds of rounds hits Glenn. Not even a ricochet. How many lives does he have?
This must have fell off one of the zombies
Glenn escapes and finds Daryl’s hot self in the oil tanker. Daryl has a plan. He dumps the gas into Alexandria’s lake and then shoots the rocket launcher into it, starting a giant fire. Daryl OWNS. Apparently, zombies love fire so much that they will be drawn to it and just willingly walk into it and burn to death. Um, OKAY. If that’s the case, then why didn’t they just do that back when the zombies were in the quarry? Instead of the horrible zombie parade plan? You know what? Whatever. I don’t even care. This episode has made me extremely forgiving.
♫ Won’t see em again till the 4th of Ju-ly♫
Since the zombies have started to head towards the lake of fire, the gang can more easily massacre them. We get an awesome montage of everyone killing zombies. It’s very B-movie and I LOVE it. It’s fantastic.
After all the zombies have been taken care of, Rick is sitting at Carl’s bedside while the rest of the town stands vigil outside. AWWWWW! Rick tells Carl that he now believes the Alexandrians get it and that they can make the community work. He says it’s a new world and he wants to show it to Carl. Then Carl squeezes his dad’s hand.
I’m not crying. I just have something in both of my eyes.
That’s it trashbags! What did you think? It was great wasn’t it? Hit up the comments with your thoughts. Thanks so so so much for reading. Love you guys. Just sayin.
Want more TrashTalk? Follow us on Twitter for updates of recaps as they publish, like us onFacebook for a daily update, watch our TV parody vids on YouTube, or for funny TV pics, heart us on Instagram, and get the occasional gif on Tumblr!