This episode of How to Get Away with Murder opens with a pregnant Annalise from 10 years ago, vomiting in the bathroom, probably from watching last week’s episode. She comes downstairs to a different set of faux associates and one douche asks her “how her bump is doing.” Like a guy is ever going to talk like that. I would have slapped him into next week for that comment, but she tells him he’s not allowed to ask that. This is a kinder, gentler Annalise.
Her hair looks like IT has a baby bump!
Oh hey! Sam is alive! Rat bastard. She tells him she has to go Cleveland again. Dun-dun…Dunnn?
Present-day Annalise is at the doctor’s having her wound looked at, and tells the doctor she’s been napping a lot. Join the club, I usually call that time “Saturday afternoon” or “Weekdays from 8-5.” Another doctor, who looks suspiciously like Annalise’s doctor (but isn’t) is talking to Wes about his NOT being able to sleep. He wants sleeping pills, but the doctor won’t just prescribe something without him going to therapy. Oh please, someone would prescribe something immediately. It’s 2016.
Wes gets up to leave and tells her not to be surprised if he shoots himself, and now doctory-doctor says she wishes he hadn’t said that, because now she can’t let him leave without throwing him into the psych ward for most of the next week. Does anyone out there know if that is true? Also, seems like he could have just shoved her hard and run out the door.
Did I say shoot myself – I meant shit myself!
Oh great, the storyline with Asshat not leaving Connor and Oliver’s apartment, snore. Asshat farts and I’m done recapping this storyline.
At court, everyone shows up except Wes, and Michaela says Annalise hates them all. Annalise storms by them without saying a word and Michaela is like, see, bitches?
Annalise’s new client Justin has already taken a plea deal, but the victim’s mother begs for a restorative justice hearing. Turns out she wants a shorter sentence for Justin, and Annalise and the prosecutor are both confused and perturbed. The judge actually grants the hearing and now everyone is going to get screwed. Except justice.
Black Lives Matter is scaring the shit out of the white guy.
Back 10 years ago, Frank with un-gelled hair is hitting on an intern and Annalise calls him her secretary. Heh. Back in today, Wes calls Laurel he’s in the psych ward and he wants her to come and get him. Because she’s the most sane?
Justin is being prepped for the hearing and tells Bonnie and Michaela he and the victim were fighting about a girl and the gun went off by accident. There is the question of the victim’s missing cell phone, which Justin said he never took. Sure, it just magically disappeared.
So I’ll pick Wes up from the psych ward and blow you later.
In the psych ward, Laurel is talking with Wes and the doctor just barges in. Laurel says she’s his girlfriend of 8 months, and judgy doctor is like, wow, if I had a boyfriend of 8 months and he joked about killing himself, I’d want him to get professional help. Bitch, please. I joke about blowing my head off (and others’ heads) at work all the time, doesn’t mean I’m going to do it. Even though pretty much everyone else in the US seems to be doing it. Eh, okay, I’m starting to see her point.
Laurel says she does care about him and the doctor, with only talking to Laurel for like 30 seconds, says she doubts she sees it and if this is how she’s reacting, she questions the health of their relationship. Wow, snap judgment much? What the hell kind of diagnosis is that? And is she a psychiatrist of some sort? Because I think Wes just went to see a GENERAL DOCTOR at his schools HEALTH CENTER for sleeping pills, not a shrink…so why this woman is still involved is beyond me.
I’ve only been her a split second but I’m ready to judge.
Laurel does threaten with legal action, but Dr. Bitchface says they should know no court would bother to look at this before the 120-hour hold was up. Wait a minute…you are telling me that this effing doctor can hold someone for 5 days?!?!?! OMG, I would have attorneys all over this woman! Also, if they were that worried, why is he in a room with so many windows? If he wanted to hurt himself, glass breaks into jagged little shards, honey. It’s like everyone attached to this school is a moron.
Laurel tells Annalise and she’s like, leave him, it’s like 3 hots and a cot, and he’ll get some sleep, so shut up. Laurel says Annalise just needs to forgive him so he can get some sleep (?), so she fires Laurel now that Bonnie is back. She trades interns like Pogs. Bonnie tells her that Caleb is back and he’s downstairs. Go get a real lawyer, dumbass, it’s not like you don’t have the money.
Caleb says Philip has caused all these problems and he thinks Annalise is the only one who can help him. She sends him packing, but before he leaves Michaela tries to make nice. Caleb doesn’t buy it, calling her a whore who plays people. She calls him one back, but he tells her he just wanted to get laid, that’s why he banged her. Door? Slammed.
AND? I FAKED it!
Back 10 years ago, Annalise is talking into a recorder and Bonnie comes in and gives her advice on how to get the baby off her sciatic nerve. I have advice on that too – DON’T HAVE BABIES! Bonnie is talking to Sam about her problems and thanks Annalise. Awww, lovefest.
And then Rory said she didn’t want to room with me anymore!
In present day (I know, this is exhausting), Annalise walks into her front living room/office and screams at everybody wondering what they are doing there. They say working, and she tells them to find somewhere else to do it, she wants her house back. Uh, where else are they supposed to go to work for your firm?
Back at Oliver and Connor’s apartment, Asshat overhears everyone talking about what a burden he’s become and why he won’t leave. Connor says he feels bad for him, that’s why he’s staying friends with him. Remember when Connor was just a common whore? Yeah, I miss that too.
Wow, I really AM an asshat!
Doctor is asking Wes a bunch of stuff and finally Wes tells her about his childhood and mother killing herself and so on, but he’s only lost sleep since law school started. She makes him promise it’s only law school and when he does, she brings up Annalise getting shot, which…WTF? This doctor is creepy in everything she knows about him from the past hour she’s had him locked up.
Yeah, it’s less Oedipal and more I just need to sleep…
Michaela did what any good prosecutor would have done but apparently didn’t – she tracked down the text messages from the never-recovered phone. The last text was to the victim’s mother, saying he loved her, but he spelled it the Millennial Way, “LUV” – which the victim never ever did! Meaning, someone other than the victim – say…JUSTIN? – probably texted the mom. Turns out, he actually did send that text! Annalise tells him to shut it forever and ever amen!
At the restorative justice hearing, the victim’s mother says she gets what happened…she understands his shitty upbringing, that there was no mother figure, his dad was in jail, his dogs and cats hated him, the quarterback beat him up and nobody asked him to prom, so she knows why he turned to a life of crime. She doesn’t blame him, only the world that lets him grow up and have a gun. She calls it an accident and she doesn’t want his life ruined for one selfish act. She absolves him and says they need to help each other. What. A LOAD. OF CRAP.
So, yeah…this is going to be awkward.
So Justin helps himself in no way by telling her he shot her son on purpose and watched him die except for the few minutes he texted her the “LUV.” So the prosecutor is like bitch, it’s on like Donkey Kong, and now she’s going for the death penalty. But the victim’s mother doesn’t agree – still!
Ten-year-ago Annalise is at her ultrasound and everything is hunky-dory with the baby, and she can fly to Cleveland no problem. Do you think she fired the baby and that’s why he’s no longer on the show?
Back in the present, the team is arguing about Justin, and Annalise is like, we’ve all done terrible things, but we haven’t gone to jail and we’re fine with that…so let’s calm down. Laurel is like, what about Wes, he’s in a psych ward and Annalise won’t do dick about it. Everyone gets pissed and Michaela taps out…then Connor, then Laurel, and finally Asshat. They all walk out on her. I would also recommend transferring to another law school far, far away. And changing your names.
HATE. Also, if I could blink and blow your head up, I would.
Back in court, the prosecutor says she’s raising the charges and Annalise tries to fight it. She wants the original deal and gives an impassioned speech that makes her seem human. The prosecutor “reflects” and says they will forgo the death penalty but they still want life in prison. Justin takes the deal despite Annalise and the victim’s mother telling him no. He says he needs to be punished for what he did, like no person ever said ever when faced with life in prison. To make things better, the victim’s mother gives him her number, you know, so they can stay in touch.
Can’t wait to catch up during our first face-to-glass partition meeting!
Wes is giving the doctor what she wants…he tells her about his childhood, being a latch-key kid, his mother killing herself and him seeing blood everywhere. The gang shows up and threatens legal action to get him out, but the HEALTH CENTER GENERAL DOCTOR is good with Wes’s story because it’s related to Annalise getting shot, so she lets him go. Hope she finally gave him those goddamn sleeping pills.
The gang drives him home and they all get kind of weepy in the car. Asshat calls out Connor for pretending to be his friend. Wes is like, why are we on our own, and they all say Annalise is sick and needs therapy, and their eyes are all opened now.
Finally! In Cleveland, Annalise is meeting with Wes’s mother in a café, and she hands her a file. Wes’s mom says she’s nervous and she opens the file. The article reads “Hedge Fund Heir Charles Mahoney on Trial for Murder.” She asks who Annalise is and she tells her she’s a lawyer. Wes’s mom goes to leave and Annalise grabs her arm, telling her she won’t let her or Christophe get hurt. Yeah, we know how well you kept that promise.
Whatchutalkin’bout Annalise?
Back in the office in real time, Annalise puts a bunch of files in an envelope. She leaves it at Wes’s door for him to enjoy. Musical montage begins as Laurel confronts Frank about how he won’t be upfront and honest with her. She tells Frank that Wes shot Annalise, she knows he drugged Catherine and tossed her in the woods. They break up and as she’s leaving, he admits to killing Lila. Oh yeah…Lila’s death started this whole hot mess!
Hold it together, Axe Man!
Nate drops some comfort food by for Annalise and she chows on the eggrolls. Wes opens the files. Connor calls Annalise and tells her he just got a video from that night – it shows Wes leaving The Orphan House and meeting with the gang. It was sent anonymously and he doesn’t know what to do. For starters, he should shit his pants. “I think Philip’s back,” he tells her. Just send Frank. Or whomever has the most kills at this point. Kind of a toss-up.
Oh…looks like Nate should have stayed!