Just when you think you have a show figured out, it comes out of nowhere and surprises you. This week’s episode is the first time we didn’t start with Claudia Jordan fighting with someone. My jaw actually dropped when I saw that not only was Claudia not on camera fighting and digging herself deeper into irrelevance (don’t worry, she does that later on), but no one was fighting at all.
This week’s flash forward was of New York and a man we will later find out, although some may have already known, is Chance, who was the runner-up on the first season of I Love New York.
I’ll give you a second to digest that.
Stop And Have Some Water
Now while we may not have been bombarded with Claudia fighting in the first scene this week, we were whacked with it only seconds later. We pick up where we left off, in a parking lot (which seems to be a particularly popular filming location for this show, I’m assuming because most people/businesses in the Greater Los Angeles Area want nothing to do with it.)
We’re now at the point in a reality show fight where the opponents are no longer fighting over anything of substance, but instead are fighting over someone calling someone else a bitch or someone putting their hands in someone else’s face during said fight.
So, because Claudia is such a classy lady, she decides now would be a great time to bring up a rumor that started during season 2 of Basketball Wives, which was in 2010 and it is now 2016, that Jennifer had unprotected sex while on a girls trip in Las Vegas. Does anyone even care? In my opinion it gives Jennifer some more layers than just her bougie persona.
Jennifer gets in her car and tries to leave, but because Claudia is also very mature, she stands next to her car and refuses to get out of Jennifer’s way so she can leave. My favorite part of this scene was when one of the producers told Claudia she was acting like a childish idiot.
She actually said she was acting silly, but I like to interpret things.
Then there is a strange scene of Benzino at a crab restaurant he owns/lent his name to. He’s pretending to make crabs when Kirk Frost (Fix It, Jesus) stops by. Just when I thought Claudia was the most wretched person I’d be dealing with this week. They talked about some cabin story, but to be honest once I saw Kirk’s smug ass walk in frame I tuned the rest of this scene out.
Next we’re with Laura and Jennifer who are at a combination cycling/yoga/meditation class. Laura is clearly meant to be the Greek Chorus of this show. She’s the only one (besides sometimes Benzino) who has any type of sense. Laura wants to set up a meeting between her, Jennifer and Claudia, because at the end of the day Laura is just trying to get this show off the ground so she can get a check and pay for that Escalade she just bought.
For some reason we’re at Claudia’s apartment, and for some other reason Cynthia Bailey from The Real Housewives of Atlanta is stopping by, and she didn’t even promote her eyewear line. Apparently Cynthia is like a sister to Claudia, according to Claudia, but if you’ve been watching RHOA then you know Cynthia never feels as close to people as they do to her, except Nene.
Anyways, Claudia brings up the issues she’s having with Jennifer, because she doesn’t have another damn thing going on in her life worthy of discussion. Once again we have to hear about how Claudia’s ex, who she doesn’t care about but who she also calls The Devil, is friends with or dated or is dating Jennifer. For a situation she doesn’t care about, Claudia sure loves to flap her jaw about it.
Cynthia gives Claudia advice which is to watch herself before she speaks, but Claudia interpreted that as get Jennifer together.
Next there is a scene with Karamo and his son, who I thought I cared about, but I really don’t. We find out that his mother and Karamo were best friends, and I guess back when Karamo was still figuring himself out they had sex and made this little man. Karamo wants him to have a better work ethic and makes him rake leaves.
I don’t know if this bothered anyone else, but at the beginning of the scene, Karamo gets back from running and sits his sweat covered body on the couch. I almost died of disgust.
The other big storyline this week is New York’s love life. Apparently people are interested in that still? Anyways, so first we’re with New York and her ex-fiancee AKT!ON, which I believe is pronounced like “action?”
Basically AKT!ON (I’ve got lots of questions about that name) was tired of being treated like New York’s assistant. Then we find out that after a fight, New York gave her white gold and diamond (did she have that verified?) engagement ring to a cashier at Walgreens. New York want’s to get married and wants to, Lord forgive me, have her eggs cracked – a.k.a. have a child.
Who is Claudia’s stylist? Her outfits always leave me with such pause, and not in a good way. From the fur(?) wrap to the jumpsuit with the layers of flutter sleeves, it’s all wrong all the time with this one.
You Look Whack B
Jennifer’s one condition in agreeing to meet with Claudia was that Claudia had to apologize to her within the first 10 seconds of Jennifer sitting down. This show loves a corner timer. It took 20 seconds, but Claudia eventually apologized. Then we get another example of Claudia “The Hypocrite” Jordan. Claudia is so quick to jump down everyone’s throat and talk about how so many of the rumors out in the streets about her aren’t true, yet she will be the FIRST one to bring up some rumor about someone else. Girl, bye.
Serenity Now. Serenity Now.
Benzino is essentially ambushed by Althea and her mother about leaving for Los Angeles a few days after his son is born. Who do you think is paying these bills y’all?
Then we get an interstitial from Carlos King trying to convince us that reality tv is real.
*Yawn*
Is there any reality show out there that isn’t somehow traced back to Ray J? Jennifer is meeting with Willie Norwood, Brandi and Ray J’s father, for voice lessons. He gets her in the studio and tells her to sing Happy Birthday, which she does an okay job at I thought. Then Benzino stops by and Jennifer tells him what went down with Claudia. Jennifer says she’s cool with Claudia, but she doesn’t trust her. LOL this show.
<3
Finally, we’re with New York and Chance. If I were to chose between Chance and AKT!ON based solely on their appearance on this show, there would be no question about it: Chance. Now don’t get me wrong, they both seem like losers, but Chance was trying to be smooth and be romantic. Meanwhile AKT!ON spent the entire time rolling his eyes and trying to order shots. (and who still walks around with pick in their afro?)
This entire scene was New York and Chance flirting and kissing.
Next week Claudia continues to be annoying.
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