Howdy y’all, and welcome to part one of the two part Top Chef season finale in Las Vegas. These last two eps are bound to be a doozy, so stick with me as we navigate our way through the bright lights, washed up celebrities and jangling slot machines that make up the Las Vegas landscape. It’s not at all classy, but I’m sure we’ll be told that it is, so let’s flip the cards, pull the lever, roll the dice and see what’s in store.
The tone of this episode is very different, it’s much more typical cooking competition show. It’s sorta like they made the season finale for someone who didn’t actually watch the season. Padma’s voiceover calls Jeremy a “coastal master” from Miami. Then Jeremy comes on and tells us that he has won the most challenges this season, that he is a father, so this isn’t just for him, and that he is here to win. We get some instagram filtered scenes of wins past, where we see Jer repeatedly freak out as he is announced to be the winner. Next the disembodied voice of Padma tells us that Marjorie is from DC and is the “powerhouse protege” of some amazing chefs. Who writes this shit? “Coastal master,” “Powerhouse protege?” Christ. We get another series of filtered scenes of wins and losses past. Marjorie tells us that, for her, this experience has been up and down. And we of course get a shot of her stressed out, droopy little face crying last week. Finally Padma says, “from the Empire of Emeril Lagasse,” Isaac Toups. Seriously, who wrote that? It’s like a bad intro to someone erotic Top Chef fanfic. Isaac tells us he has long been underestimated, and he really wants to prove to the judges that he isn’t just a one-trick pony. I’d like him to prove it to me too, because I’m really not sure why he is here and Karen isn’t.
Anyway, the chefs check in to their giant hotel suite, and Jeremy is pumped about the pillow cases, which are embroidered with their initials. Okay, serious question, would it be stealing to take that pillow case? I mean, they basically made it yours when they stamped your name on it, right? Just saying, that would be a cool souvenir.
The chefs also notice that next to one of the beds is a sad cot with no fancy embroidered pillow case: this is the bed of the Last Chance Kitchen Competitor. Okay, to be clear, I haven’t been watching Last Chance Kitchen (because one Top Chef show at a time is all I really need) so I have no idea who the fourth will be; I don’t even know who is in the running. That being said, I feel like it cheapens Top Chef and the finale a little to do it this way, even if I think the fourth is ultimately worthy. The whole point of watching all season is to see the challenges and experience that builds up to this moment and this selection of chefs. Even Isaac (as skeptical as I am about him) made it to this point because, if nothing else, he had no major missteps. And frankly, it’s hard to overstate the importance of consistency in a chef. No one wants to go to a restaurant that serves garbage one day and Michelin worthy entrees the next. So then, to have a competitor who was thrown out but who then entered a different competition, it’s weird. It’s like wait, what was the point of the first competition, then? I don’t normally think of myself as so orthodox, but I wish we could stick to just the Old Testament that is Top Chef. I don’t know about the New Testament, loving and forgiving Top Chef, where we’re giving people who fucked up a second chance. What I do know is, I don’t trust it, and I don’t like it.
Either way, the chefs conclude the hotel suite scene by getting on the roof with a bottle of champagne, announcing that they are on top of the world and toasting to Las Vegas. This scene wasn’t cliché and boring at all. I wish the producers would just let them be real. Show them doing a couple shots together, then sitting down with a beer in front of the TV to zone out for an hour before they all pass out. They have so much work to do tomorrow, and they are so nervous. I promise you, they didn’t have the out-on-the-town, poppin’ bottles night this rooftop scene implies.
Who did Padma piss off in the wardrobe department?
The next day, we see the chefs enter into an arena at some casino (I know which one, but in case you’ve forgotten I hate native advertising), and Padma is there dressed in some kind of lingerie with her hair piled on top of her head. It’s a super ugly and ill-fitting dress, and the styling isn’t cute either. To be clear, I am not shaming Padma here, I’m shaming the person who put her in this thing. What were you thinking? Padma looks amazing in everything all season, yet you managed to put her in an outfit that is so hideous I have to comment on it, even though we’ve barely started into the show and there are a million other things to talk about.
No neck, no problem.
Anyway, the chefs learn that the person who made it back is Amar. Marjorie says she knows his stride, but it’s more like I know his neckless stocky silhouette, which is highlighted with the backlighting they used for his entrance into the arena. Padma welcomes Amar back, and then they introduce the first challenge. She and Tom explain that whoever wins this challenge will definitely be in the finale. Then Padma pulls out four Aces and explains that, historically, the suits corresponded to classes in society: Spades-Royalty, Hearts-Clergy, Diamonds-Merchants, and Clubs-Peasants. Top Chef has created four pantries with ingredients that would have been available to the people from each class of the time (what time you ask, not actually clear). Depending on which suit you get, you will have access to the corresponding pantry and all of the pantries of the classes below you. They will have also have 3 hours to prepare a dish for 150 people. The winner gets to move on directly to the finale and wins $25,000. Padma deals the cards, and it goes as follows:
Jeremy: Diamonds/Merchant Class
Marjorie: Spades/Royalty
Isaac: Hearts/Clergy
Amar: Clubs/Peasant Class
Isaac tells us this is ironic because he is an atheist. This is a surprise to me, if I was going to guess who is religious on this show it would def have been a man from the south. So that’s cool, stereotypes shattering! Also interesting that Amar, who just clawed his way back in, will have the most limited options. Sometimes that can be helpful, especially with Amar, who likes to pile on the heaviest and fattiest foods.
Of course Top Chef has to complicate things further by bring back some of our favorite and least favorites to serve as sous chefs. In walks Karen, Kwame, Manbun, and Carl. Marjorie as royalty gets first choice, and she picks Karen (#teamvagina). Isaac picks Carl. Jeremy and Kwame, and therefore Amar and Manbun. And with that they’re off.
Running through the kitchen and to the Pantries. Marjorie tells us her plan is to make food that makes her happy and to take the best ingredients regardless of which pantry they come from. Amar tells us he is sad about his limited ingredients, but he’s gonna make it work. What else can he say? He tells us that his proteins are chicken liver and beef tongue. Literally at the farmer’s market last week, my partner was asking the local rancher around here for beef tongue, so apparently we have the taste of peasants. Although if you ever tried beef tongue tacos, you’d understand why. Anyway Amar tells us he grew up like peasant in the DR and still loves chicken livers, and that he is going to make them so good that people who don’t like chicken liver will appreciate it. Isaac decides to make cod with seared fennel and eggplant. He tells us he doesn’t have anything to prove to anyone, but that being said, I’m proud of my little atheist buddy: he didn’t go all cajun kitchen as per usual, and that’s a big step. Finally, Jeremy is making comfit chicken dish with zucchini or something. He says it will “smack you in the face” as if that’s a good thing, so we’ll see.
The chefs spend a little more time working on their dishes and second-guessing themselves. Then we hit the 10 minute mark, and all the chefs start rolling their carts into the arena. They prep, and taste, and set up, and slowly people roll in.
Amar-Peasent: Chicken Livers & Onions with Root Vegetable Puree, Crispy Leeks & Caramelized Honey Gastrique. Tom is happy with it. He says in the puree you can taste the parsnip and the apple. They also tell Amar it’s well seasoned and nicely balanced.
Jeremy-Merchant: Butter Poached Chicken, Zucchini puree, Chicken Crackling, with Pickled Sweet & Hot Grapes. Gail says this is a dish she will take away with her and think about for a really long time. (I think she means the recipe and not a plate of it.) I guess Jeremy managed to smack her in the face, at least.
Isaac-Clergy: Seared Black Cod with Caramelized Fennel, Eggplant & Red Wine Vinegar. Chef Moonen says he liked the combo of olive with the black cod, because it’s a fatty fish and the olive cuts through some of that. I don’t think that makes a lot of sense, because olives are so oily we famously make olive oil from them, but whatever. Gail says that she loved the sauce but wished the bread wasn’t so toasted, so she could use it to mop up the sauce. Gail eats like a fat girl, and I love it! She’s like, I had to lick the plate clean to eat all of the food you gave me, and next time I would prefer to be able to do that in a more dignified manner.
Marjorie-Royalty: Seared Salmon with Vadouvan Buerre Monte, Shaved Vegetable Salad & Meyer Lemon Puree. Marjorie got good reviews all around. P liked the brightness of the veggies, and Gail thought the lemon puree was just lovely.
They get to the judging and everyone is praised. Tom also tells his fellow chefs he’s really happy they don’t have to eliminate someone and that instead they’re just choosing someone to go directly to the finale. I thinks that’s pretty cute.
Anyway, they end up picking Jeremy as the winner, because he showed a really high level of creativity. I think that’s probably fair. I just don’t like him personally and am pretty much in the bag for Marjorie (#teamvagina) at this point, so I just felt sorta whatever. Jeremy did not, he characteristically reacted in a BIG way. Which is also fair I suppose, he just won, plus $25,000. Although he is actually def taking home less that that, since he will have to declare it on his income tax. Wouldn’t it be funny if it actually pushed him into a higher bracket, and he ultimately paid a lot more money on his taxes as a result? Am I the only person who thinks about this stuff when it comes to game shows and cash winnings? My partner often tells me that I’m too practical, perhaps he is on to something…
Anyway, enough about me, the other three have to continue competing in order to get the other spot on the finale. Tom tells them to just cook their hearts out and they’ll get there. Tom is seriously the most corny person on reality TV. It’s like he grew up on after-school specials and fervently believed in the message of each and every one. But just when I thought this shit couldn’t get any cheesier, P asked the contestants to welcome the “Magician of the century,” David Copperfield. HA! Why the fuck not. I mean who better to judge culinary success than an old magician living in Las Vegas who only eats the finest super model pussy. I’m sure it really develops the palate.
As a result of this unfortunate casting, the challenge is to create a culinary performance that leaves the judges spellbound. Wow, I’m already spellbound; they managed to make the challenge dumber than the choice of David Copperfield as guest judge.
Marjorie tells us she’s not really a showy person and the idea that what stands between her and the season finale is an illusion is frustrating. Yeah, I bet. Isaac is showy and says he knows a few magic tricks, so this might be a good challenge for him. As for Amar, who knows? We don’t even hear from him. Instead we’re bombarded by more native advertising for Copperfield’s show. They literally show us the tickets with his dyed black hair and overly-tanned, Housewife-worthy face on them. Gross. Apparently they all have to attend his show and we have to see it. I laughed harder than I’ve ever laughed at anything on Bravo watching this show. There were strobe lights, fog machines and wind machines galore, a motorcycle, and some ethereal fabrics blowing in the wind. I tried to think about why it offended my sensibilities so much, and I think it’s because the aesthetic is white middle aged man who never grew up and incorrectly believes he is cool. David Copperfield reminds me of the 80s/early 90s idea of what it means to be “cool guy,” like Uncle Jesse or something: a babes, motorcycle and leather man. (There’s a connection with the hair there too, so I think I’m onto something.) It’s just such a sad and limited space in which to be a man.
David Copperfield trying to be cool…
David Copperfield being creepy as fuck
David Copperfield ribbon dancing.
Anyway, none of the chefs were bothered because they’re not supposed to be. Instead, they said it was great and that they pulled inspiration from the night. Amar tells us he wants to create a dish that surprises you (but he uses like a million more words than that to express the sentiment). Anyway, the show thankfully comes to an end, and we flash forward to the next morning. The chefs have breakfast together and talk about the upcoming challenge. Everyone is hyper aware that today is do or die. They wistfully ask Jeremy about his plans for his free day (dude, hot tubbin’), and then quickly hustle out the door.
In the kitchen we see the chefs hurrying around. Marjorie tells us she is really inspired by Copperfield’s ability to tell a story through magic, and that’s what she will try to do with her food today. She’s going to tell them a story about where she started from and where she is today. Isaac is going for the element of surprise. He is essentially making chicken fried steak, but he is using a rib eye and cornish game hen skin to do it. So you won’t get the cheap greasy Cracker Barrel version, but instead a classy steak wrapped with chicken crackling, essentially. Finally Amar’s plan is to showcase different cooking techniques to give the judges surprises. He is making a roasted squab, a savory whipped meringue, and a cauliflower white chocolate ganache, which he is going to drop into liquid nitrogen to make into tiny pebbles. Then he is also making potato rings, the surprise there being it’s not onion rings. I don’t know about that last one, seems like a stretch, but FYI fried potatoes cause cancer, so the surprise might be the long term health effects. Which is fun.
We switch back over to Marjorie, who also decides to use liquid nitrogen. She sticks an orange in it, and then sticks the orange in her mouth. I assumed that was some bad editing, thinking to myself, of course you wouldn’t do that, because it would be like that tongue stuck to flagpole scene in A Christmas Story. Nope. Apparently Marjorie never saw that movie, and she “burns” her tongue on the orange. That’s obviously a problem since now she can’t actually taste her own food. Good start.
Next we get a scene of the judges on Copperfield’s stage waiting to be served. Gail says it’s important that the chefs can talk and cook, because there are open kitchens now (not actually a new thing, but whatever) and chefs are expected to greet their guests and be entertainers (depends on the restaurant, but sure).
With that we get to the first chef, Marjorie. Marjorie starts out by serving them plates and saying it is very important that they don’t touch them. Then she takes the plates away and says something about smoke and mirrors. She says those are plates like the ones she would have created in culinary school, but now she’s going to do some magic. Then suddenly she is telling them about being a student and going to France and having Duck a L’Orange for the first time. If the recap feels a little disjointed in the last few sentences, good! Because that’s what it felt like watching this presentation. Poor Marge was all over the place with her story, and her shtick about giving them plates and taking them away was just confusing.
I’m really nervous about this…
Me too!
Then she moved on to the “magic” portion. The magic being liquid nitrogen (which is technically “science,” but whatever). She tells them she has never used liquid nitrogen before and that she is scared. Padma says she is scared too. Marjorie is pouring the liquid nitrogen as she is telling the story. She messes up and puts too many oranges in at once. As you can probably imagine, they stick together, so now she is having a hard time breaking them up. She is also just using her bare fingers to do this! One of the judges asks, aren’t your fingers getting burnt? A little bit! She replies, both upbeat and wincing with pain. She also tells them she burnt her tongue on it earlier, giving away further just how far in over her head she is. It feels like we’re watching a slow motion car accident right at the moment when you can see the bodies moving forward in that almost peaceful, floating way, but you know they are about to smash into the windshield. Marjorie is that close from smashing to her doom, but to her credit, she soldiers through.
Pro Tip: Don’t sick your bare fingers in a bowl of liquid nitrogen.
She finishes her dish and serves them Roasted Duck A L’Orange, with Braised Endive, Caramelized Romesco & Fennel Puree. The review Marjorie gets is surprisingly good. Gail says the flavors go together beautifully, and that the plate it self is beautiful. Marjorie has chosen to plate her food on what is essentially a mirror, so it’s hard to know whether Gail likes the arrangement on the plate or her own reflection more. The endives are also complimented. All in all, things are going great. Tom points out that the dish needs more orange. Marjorie had already told us that she was worried using liquid nitrogen would lessen the flavor of the oranges, and apparently it has. In the end, Gail also compliments her on talking to them and engaging them the whole time, as well as trying something new. Apparently what looked like an awful cringe-fest on TV worked better in person. According to Gail, Marjorie’s engagement was part of the magic, too. Gail is probably a good friend in real life. They thank Marjorie for her dish and send her off.
Next up is by far the most natural showman on the show, Isaac. He comes out, sets up his station, and tells them that he has fancy chicken fried steak for them. Then he dramatically plates his hollandaise in an upside-down shot glass on the plate with a big sweeping arm motion. It’s hard to tell because of editing, but he seems a lot quieter than Marjorie while cooking, which is so weird since he is usually chatting up a storm in the kitchen. Anyway he finishes his prep and serves them, then he does a whole bit about eggs: “Which came first the chicken or the egg? Well that’s easy because dinosaurs were laying eggs wayyyy before chickens.”
Then that part is over, and he tells them that he is going to do a trick where he shakes the egg and makes the egg white and egg shell disappear, leaving only the egg yolk. Then he pretends to throw the egg at Padma, and it legitimately disappears, but then he fakes out Gail by going “Catch!” for some reason. Then he says he made the whole egg disappear, but they can find the egg yolk under the shot glass, in the hollandaise sauce. Again, if that part of the recap sounded weird and disjointed to you, good, because that is true to what I experienced watching this. Isaac’s “joke” and magic trick didn’t really make any sense, and you could see Tom cringing (I think it secretly makes him a little sad that he is on a show that has reduced chefs to preforming sad little magic tricks for money and fame, but I could be wrong).
I guess it doesn’t really matter though, because in terms of the competition, Isaac embraced the spirit of the challenge. In terms of food – you know, the supposed focus of this show – Isaac made “Chicken Friend Steak” Dry-Aged Rib Eye With Crispy Hen Skin, Quadruple Fennel Puree & Yuzu Hollandaise. Padma tells Isaac the trick with the chicken skin is fine, but the real star of this plate is Flavor. Gail and Tom think his puree is too grainy, although they too think he has great flavor over all.
#skillz
Next we have Amar. Amar tells us that the first chef he ever worked under died of ALS recently, and he is thinking about that as he moves into this challenge. Amar even more than Isaac before him is very quiet. He is working carefully, and when the judges try to engage with him, he sorta just mutters. Finally, he is ready to present his dish. He serves them the meal with these clear cloches that are all smokey. So as they remove them, the smoke dissipates and the food is revealed. Amar made them Squab, White Chocolate Truffle Ganache, Whipped Balsamic, Mole Sauce & Potato “Onion Ring.” Tom says that, flavor-wise, the dish is really interesting in a good way. There is a lot going on, but it all makes sense. Padma says that he should have had more confidence. Copperfield says that it was like a show and there was even a reveal. So all in all, Amar got some great reviews as well.
After a bit of deliberation, the chefs are marched in front of the judges once again. Each judge is reviewed once again. Marjorie, great dish, way to push yourself with nitrogen, there should have be more orange flavor. Amar, not enough show, but the dish was a great surprise and really tasty. Isaac, good job trying something different, and you did a magic trick!
You’d think at this point we could just find out who won and call it a day, but no. Instead, they are asked for their last words. Isaac tells them he feel like he has become a better chef, and he doesn’t just have to do South Louisiana food now. (A common Top Chef narrative trope. But the judges love that shit, so why not). Marjorie tells them that overcoming the challenges has made her ready to take on new ones. Amar told his whole life story. I came from DR with nothing, my dad told me you could sell drugs and be a nobody or take the righteous path. Become a good student, work hard. And I’ve accomplished a lot in my life, but competing in the Top Chef finale would really mean everything.
Padama tells them this a tough choice for them, and then everyone departs. We see the chefs talking again about what this means for them. Then we see the judges deliberate. They repeat a lot of things we’ve already heard. Ultimately, it’s Amar who is chosen to compete in the finale. I guess this makes sense, as it echos back to what Tom said at the beging of the season, that the flavors will always win. But I still don’t love that he gets to make it to the finale when he was already eliminated during the competish.
We see Marjorie and Isaac as they pack their knives. Marjorie’s voice is sad, but she says some upbeat words about confidence and how she’s still a good chef. Isaac tells us he’s breaking out of his mold. And then we see Amar, who is overwhelmed. He talks about about his dad and his other father figure, the chef who passed away recently. He starts crying. The judges just sit there staring at him. I have to say it is both sweet and a little garish and bizarre. Then we get a scene of Amar as he enters the hotel suite. He shouts broooo at Jeremy. Jer says man, I hoped it wouldn’t be you, in a you’re-a-worthy-adversary kind of way. And with that, we close part one of our two part finale.
It’s been a strange ride this season, so I hope you’ll come back next week to see (and discuss) how it all ends with me. In the meantime, thanks for all your comments and support, you’ve made writing these recaps so much fun! Take care and happy weekend!
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