Tour Group: The True Meaning of Camel Toe

Last day in Morocco and the Tour Group is anticipating its next surprise location.

One of the Vegas Ladies is concerned because there is a lot of unrest in the world. I mean, what about ISIS? Oh boy. The other one is only concerned about getting her next blowout.

The Twins discuss one’s break-up letter and what a comfort Jared, the finance bro, is. Cut to Finance Bro working out with Gay Dancer. They, of course, are discussing which Twin would be more susceptible to banging.

The Tour Guides announce they will be milking and riding camels. Everyone pretends to be thrilled.

Jared chats up Jenna, the older-looking twin and makes a really stellar joke about fucking her brains out, because he’s classy.

One of the Bros says something insensitive about the camel wranglers, but his chyron tells us he’s a hairdresser. I’ve never been so happy to read a chyron.

Vegas Blowout doesn’t want to milk or ride camels because she thinks it’s cruel or something. In his interview, Jared points out her expensive leather handbag.

For some reason, they make the group change into special outfits, which seems wholly unnecessary except for our entertainment.

Vegas Blowout stands to the side with a puss on asking about WIFI…in a field…in Morocco.

Sandhurst explains why your low-hanging balls are in danger when riding a camel. Thanks, dude.

One of the group members looks for a toilet and finds a hole in the ground and no toilet paper. She handles it well, despite taking a selfie.

PSF decides drinking the milk is cruel because the camel is hobbled in some fashion. “If that was a woman or a man or a child, that would not be ok.” As the camel is none of those things, I guess it’s ok for the group to drink up, then!

The Hairdresser Bro never shuts up in the van out of Marrakesh and somehow ends up recalling his overdose from prescription drugs. His bro-bro starts to cry. Hairdresser Bro says some stuff about Jesus and god, so I zone out. The Older Twin takes this story to heart because she too has a sibling who could potentially die. Deep shit.

The tour group arrives at a Kasbah with the hope of rocking it. The Older Twin however, tries to force an emotional moment with the sour twin. Sour twin remains stoic and sour.

The guides kibbitz and discuss how well the trip is going, which of course means the other shoe will drop soon.

At the pool, Vegas Blowout says something to Gay Dancer about his “Fruity Little…” Butt cheeks? Underwear? Either way, she grosses me out.

Jared and Older Twin go on a flirt-run, where they leap and bound through a field, giggling. I barf up a pretzel I’m eating.

Sour Twin is jealous that her sister is getting all of Jared’s attention, because limited resources make for bad choices.

The group learns their next stop is a safari in Kenya. Gay Dancer is excited to return to “the motherland”, but he doesn’t want to sleep in “no tent”, so really, he’s not actually that excited.

Upon landing in Kenya, the group learns all of their luggage is lost. Vegas Blowout is concerned about a hair dryer and her lost eyelashes. Priorities!

Massai tribesmen greet the group and PSF says she is star-struck because she’s been watching these guys on National Geographic her whole life. Oh. Dear. On a positive note, she let the “burger incident” go and is enjoying her time with Husband and Wife.

The group gets a warning about getting eaten by lions, but are essentially left to roam around their tent village with impunity.

Vegas Blowout describes how she would want her tent to look if it were a tacky Vegas hotel suite, then complains about cell service. Meanwhile, her Vegas Buddy was too sick to travel and can’t understand why no one in the middle of a Kenyan preserve is answering her texts.

Jared implores Older Twin to take of her clothes and go frolicking in a tacky, velour robe.

Vegas Blowout and PSF torture a Massai tribesman by asking him for his personal take on dating. They are truly women of many interests who contain great depths.

The following day, Jared trots around in a sage green shirt and Man-pris, because it’s 2004 and capris are all the rage.

Despite not having luggage, Wife’s hair remains the most fantastic part about her. It defies logic. Meanwhile, Vegas Blowout cries because she doesn’t have her clothes or hair products. Somehow, PSF managed to carry on a bikini that barely contains her chest. She is clearly the quickest thinker on this tour.