Previously on The Real Housewives of Potomac, Ashley and Katie sucked at reading social cues, and Karen continued to pick arbitrary fights to justify her paycheck as a Bravo castmember. Wait that’s every week you say? It is indeed…
Gizelle and Robyn are having some sort of boozy lunch/dinner. Robyn is wearing an outfit that ISN’T sweats, has her hair down and straightened, AND has a manicure. What the hell got into Robyn? Did a stylist move in with her? (I mean, she’s a beautiful lady, but seeing her ‘I don’t give a shit’ dresscode in contrast with the other high-maintenance betties gives me LIFE every week, so I’m not sure how I feel about this development…)
Who Dat?
Robyn tells Gizelle she’s debating starting to date Juan again. Well that sheds more context on my previous paragraph. Womp womp.
Babylegs: I know I’m in the minority here, but I think everyone needs to leave Robyn and Juan the hell alone. Yes, it’s clear that they need therapy, but they also seem like one of the happiest, most functional and cooperative couples from the Real Housewives franchise. Their synergy is RARE in this genre. Also, I get that maybe when your girlfriend can’t stand to leave the guy who cheated on her, it bothers you as a friend who cares, but at a certain point you gotta just let that ho make her own mistakes. Before they wear on you and your energy. So shut up, Gizelle. Shut up everyone! Robyn tho: if you weren’t ready to talk about your not-quite-monogamous monogamous relationship with your live-in ex-husband/coparent/sex partner, then maybe don’t go on a reality show.
Danator: Babylegs – those are all valid points and I agree they’re adorable, but I gotta remind you she’s bankrupt, being on a reality show was actually the healthiest choice she’s made in years
Babylegs: Also, I so identify with BOTH these arguments:
Robyn: Why’s it so important to get married? (AGREED!)
Gizelle: Well your kids THINK you’re married and it’s important to stop lying to them. (HALLE-LOO)
Katie has a friend over for afternoon wine. She rambles more about NotFianceAndrew being ‘obviously ready for marriage’. Her iron clad logic – he’ s been playing a lot more golf, and married men play a lot of golf. Sure, or he’s just trying to avoid you.
Sounds Legit
Babylegs: I love how she reasons that since he picked up golf it must mean he wants to get married, since “married men play golf.” Katie, married men play golf because they want to get away from their obnoxious wives. So, technically your rationale is leading you to the right conclusions. Oh and of course Katie’s dog is named after one of the local all-boys prep schools. (go Bears! I went to your prom and didn’t get drunk AT ALL. God I was a loser.)
Danator: Wait, people got drunk at proms? How am I just hearing about this now? We made a bonfire out of old christmas trees and i’m only in this moment putting together that I MIGHT have been at the loser after-party, huh… (whatever, a party is still a party! Even if everyone remains fully clothed, sober, and plays Grand Theft Auto all night…)
Karen and Black Bill Gates drink coffee in their garage and talk about their soo-to-be empty nest. Pretty sure NotFianceAndrew will be looking for a golf buddy. So that’s an option.
Katie and Karen shit talk each other and their mutual inability to event plan. Ladies let’s just agree you both suck at parties – Karen’s was tragic and I have yet to see Katie successfully plan so much as a lunch date.
Babylegs: I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A WALMART BOX AT KAREN HUGER’S HOUSE.
Karen’s alter ego is named Shaka, her internal diva who will slap the shit out of you. Honestly for a grown woman to have that much bubbling rage so close to the surface seems… childish? Like I get naming a goofy alter ego or an over-the-top version of yourself, but if someone slightly annoys you and you talk about hulking out, I cannot even begin to have the patience for that. WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE FRIENDS WITH KAREN?
Ashley is visiting her mom. They scoot around in her little sports car. The car’s engine shuts off at stop signs and it is FREAKING her mom the fuck out. (To be fair I will say my husband’s car does that and it scares the crap out of me when I forget it’s a feature, I constantly feel like it’s breaking down, so that fear is legit, Ashley’s mom is SPEAKING FOR THE PEOPLE). One thing I really appreciate about Ashley and her mom is when they hang out they aren’t like… actively trying to blow through her husband’s money. She may be a little bit of a gold digger, but her and her mom hang out in her house, or at a diner, and I respect that they seem mostly interested in spending time together rather than reveling in newfound cash. What I’m trying to say is I love Ashley’s mom.
I don’t think she loves me back
Ashley and Michael want to buy her mom a new house. Her mom clearly appreciates the offer but is trying not to squash Ashley’s pixie dust by telling her to butt out. Is this staged? Are they plotting behind closed doors? Because they seem really genuine with each other.