Hi all! Sorry I’ve been a little MIA lately, I promise I’m trying to get my life together over here. I’m wearing velvet leggings, sipping some evening coffee from my new Lisa Vanderpump mug*, ready to attack. Also my car was driving a little weird and apparently it’s super messed up and three of my tires had several nails in them lolololol so I am stuck at home for the day at least!!
Alright one second into this episode and Acid Wash Betty has already annoyed me. Running into the work room jumping for joy after sweet, crazy Cynthia’s departure.
Derrick is talking about her feedback from this week and reveals that she doesn’t know the difference between “having soul” and “having a soul”, proving my point that she doesn’t have either. She gets this great double side eye when she opens her mouth at all.
These looks continue when she says “I guess to prove to them I have (a) soul, I better start twerkin!”… you do that, girl.
“I just flew off the runway on roller skates but sure you go act like you can twerk, like that will save you.”
Ru confuses the girls with the nonsensical introduction video of the week, then continues to confuse them all with more proof of the Arby’s Sponsor conspiracy theory.
Look at all that extra room!!
RuPaul explains this week’s challenge and it still doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me the second time around, but I’m probably still too distracted by his whole look right now. He can do no wrong though, have you seen that latest interview he did? SO GOOD. So somehow they have to form a band, create a look, write a song, all by tomorrow. And then of course they also have to put together their runway looks and work on the lip-sync song of the week. This seriously has to be the most difficult reality show on television. Fuck you, Survivor, I said it!
Team Chi Chi has a disagreement on what the theme is, and Acid Betty is watering at the mouth about it.
The Tall Team (Bob, Thorgy, Acid) walks by saying “art art art” and Derrick makes a great joke “I hope that’s not your song, cuz if so, that sucks.” Good one, Derrick. Chi Chi’s group is slipping and Acid Wash is taking every chance to try and sabotage.
Oh god we are only nine minutes in.
The Punk team decides to sing about Chicken Wings while all wearing fur coats. Can’t wait until Peeta finds out Robbie Turnter killed the ugliest leopard in history.
ChiChi’s team is still struggling and Chi heads over the The Shade Tree and it is again, very disappointing. Just talking about inner conflict and garbage. I guess these girls don’t really need that outlet, they have talking heads. And a work room. And a runway. BUT, I want to see a pair of them go in there and talk shit on another. Pleeeeease!
The Tall Team is also having conflict because Thorgy is just an easily distracted goofball who can’t stop talking. I hate Bob and Thorgy being enemies more than anything!!
Naysha is way too confident and keeps throwing around “LOL that team is going to suck”… look at what you just wrote down. I guarantee you it is pathetic. And now we go to their rehearsal with Luscious Lucian, who tells Derrick not to sing, which I don’t even totally agree with, but I love watching her squirm when he calls her out for doing it anyway.
The Chicken Wings embarrass themselves at their rehearsal, especially when he haves them each scream for an american girl doll.
Tall Team have their rehearsal and I wouldn’t want to be in that room. Seems like everyone is very uncomfortable from the start, and Bob is kind of sassing Lucian which is not going well. Even though I don’t totally think Bob is wrong for asking questions, but she took it TOO FAR!
And now for my favorite part of the show, as anybody reading my recaps knows, getting ready!! There is always somebody telling a sob story while looking ridiculous.
This week it’s Chi Chi.
But don’t worry, Kim Chi is sitting next to her removing all depth from her face, listening intently. Chi Chi starts talking about how her family was poor growing up and then drops the bomb that she’s currently growing through bankruptcy and my heart is aching. Even if she doesn’t win, this will make you money!! I would pay so much to see you do anything! I would drop 50 bucks right now to talk to you while you straighten your hair.
Thorgy talks to Robbie about how she feels like the Susan of this season, and she has a point, that she always gets an honorable mention and then Bob wins. But Bob is also super good. Ugh, I don’t like it when my babies fight! I still think Frida should have won everything though. Honorable mention mkay.
HOLD THE DAMN PHONE, RU IS WEARING PANTS ON THE RUNWAY!
“I be lovin’ it” -My roommate, Jonathan
TEAM STREET MEAT: Bob is showing a lot of leg and looks the best. Thorgy’s look is also super fun. Acid wash looks stupid.
TEAM CHICHI & OTHERS: I’m not watching this sad show thing a second time, so I’ll just let Michelle’s face say it all.
TEAM CHICKEN WINGS: Robbie Turnter front and center, making up for the rest of the group, even with that stupid bow thing in her hair. Well deserved win.
Alright this week I’m just going to break down the runway looks for you.
Derrick: Britney on Gay Pride day.
Naysha: One of Kyle Richard’s ugly muu mud’s painted onto her body.
ChiChi: Thrift store Rihanna.
Kim Chi: Amazing . Picture necessary.
Robbie Turnter: If they let white people audition for Hamilton.
Naomi Smells: The polly pocket your mom didn’t let you play with.
Acid Betty: A fish in an ill-fitting dress. I’m annoyed I kind of like this runway look.
Thorgy: A lego you almost stepped on, but didn’t because it was glowing in the dark.
Bob the Drag Queen: Said something too shady and got a candle thrown on her head, but went with it.
Normally I don’t really comment on guest judges, but I love Debbie Harry and I don’t understand anything Chris Stein said. Robbie wins the challenge and tells Debbie Harry how she used to make out with her poster as a child.
Also can we talk about how huge the prizes are that they win?? They’re like “Congrats, you win a cruise and makeup for the rest of your life”, and it’s never mentioned again. Win a challenge, ChiChi!!
Bob apologizes to Lucian for her behavior, and all is forgiven. Michelle doesn’t like Thorgy’s outfit and acts like it ISN’T because it’s green. But thank you Michelle for calling out how stupid Acid Wash’s outfit was. When Michelle asks ChiChi why her drag is yet again so basic, ChiChi says she does’t have the money and Michelle does nOT like that answer.
You don’t need money. How many times have I told you guys, we don’t need green! Of any kind!
The lip sync comes down to Naysha and ChiChi. Do I even need to say more? Naysha is running and jumping across the stage and LITERALLY DOES A ROUND OFF HAHAHAHAHAHA. And Chi Chi is like mkay bitch, I see your round off, and I raise you a backflip. Oh, and my wig won’t fly off. Nice try. Naysha goes home, there’s only room for so many Lopez’s to make their TV return.
I think this was shown on Untucked, but she left some clothes for Chi Chi which is beyond sweet. Nice way to exit, Naysha. But I’m glad she’s gone in time for Snatch Game. I don’t need to watch her try to make Kim Kardashian funny.
Thank you all so much for reading. I’m back on track, as of right now! Also if you read my Mother/Daughter Recaps, that show has apparently been moved to Friday nights and nobody told me!! Sorry bout that!
Leave nice things in the comment sections, or mean things, I guess. Do what you want. See you next week for SNATCH GAME!
LOVE KAT
*Lisa Vanderpump mug
#nomakeup #nofilter #nofucks