Ahhh! My God. All of these people are terrible. I can’t believe I volunteered to recap these fools. So let’s get right into this shit, because the producers certainly wasted no time throwing us into the middle of a messy situation.
We’re still at Mimi’s boo’s (Chris) birthday party. Tierra has just arrived and is pumped to have a night off from kids, work and baby daddy drams so she is smiling ear to ear. This pisses Tommie off because Tierra wouldn’t be so happy if Scrap (their mutual boyfriend) had told Tierra about Tommie. Somehow Tommie decides that this is Tierra’s fault, and Tierra’s smile must be knocked off her face. This is some crazy and twisted logic, but it’s hardly unique to Tommie. As I mentioned last week most of the women in these shows date cheaters, and losers who are completely below them, as though there is a dearth of good men in Atlanta, Hollywood, NYC. I am positive there is not, and I suppose it’s their choice who to sleep with/call your man. But a bit of advice, if you make the choice to be with a man you know is cheating on you and/or with you, maybe accept it and try not to fight every other woman he’s ever fucked. It’s just not a good look. Or better yet, dump the loser and move on with your life!
Annnywayy. Tommie is hurting at the idea of seeing the woman who is also sleeping with her man (and mother of his child) happy. So she decides the best thing to do is to hurt Tierra. Obviously this will make her own bad feelings go away, right? Thats how feelings work?
In the meantime, the women are asking Tierra about herself. She tries to be friendly and tells the ladies how she isn’t only a waitress, that’s an extra job, her main job is working for the biggest financial firm in the world. She says she’s a shark. Most of the women are impressed. I’m not, but that’s mainly because like many Americans post 2008, I am deeply skeptical of all financial firms and wondering what kind of havoc they are currently reeking on our economy.
Tommie isn’t impressed either, but it has nothing to do with America’s financial forecast. Instead she just goes straight for the gut and asks Tierra when she has time to be a mom. Ooof! I can imagine any mom watching already wants to slap this stupid woman. I mean I do, and I just have a food baby in my gut that I’ve been growing with love and care for the last 12 hrs. Anyway, poor Tierra literally can’t believe what’s just happened to her first night out in about a year, and her big appearance on reality TV. She is still trying to keep up appearances and act like a normal human. You can tell she hasn’t been on reality TV before because she has a natural instinct to try and defuse the situation. But Tommie is a garbage person and as such, isn’t burdened by social mores. Instead she just keeps picking: When do you have time to be a mom? Do you do this often, just go out with random women you meet at the club? You just do whatever you want? When do you have time to be a mom?
It seems to go on forever, and finally Tierra is like woah, you’re talking about kids, like you know my kids. And this is clearly the moment Tommie was waiting for. She sits up, crosses her legs, and says, “I do know your kids.” Tierra is so confused now; “how do you know my kids?”
Tommie: “I know your kids, cause I know your baby daddy. I know your baby daddy because I sit on his dick, like almost every other night.” JESUS!
I sit on his dick like this…
Also I like the specificity here. I fuck him like almost every other night. OK Tommie, but you recognize that that means like 50% of the nights. Where do you think he is the other 50%? This is not something to be proud of. Tierra has the right reaction here surprise, hurt, confusion, anger. You on the other hand are a psychopath. Seriously, what kind of person gets joy out of physical confrontation and causing emotional trauma?
Oh yeah, did I mention shit gets physical fast? Tommie stands up and her dress has fully ridden up to her vagina. She isn’t bothered though and barely pulls it down before she starts repeating, “Let me tell you something about Tommie…” Tierra is like standing up now too, and she is like, “What? Tell me what about Tommie?” Then as Tommie keeps creeping closer to her, Tierra decide’s she’ll try the old drink in the face tactic.
CLASS!
Surprise, this is not a great move. It leads into quite possibly one of the most violent and kinda difficult to watch brawls I’ve ever seen on reality TV. Normally the bodyguards, jump in in time so the contact is actually quite minimal. This time they missed a few beats and these women have each other on floor, with death grips on each other’s hair, while they are wildly flailing and throwing punches. As the bodyguards finally get a handle on the situation we get a blurry eyeful of Tommie. That’s right, this woman, who for days now has been setting up and planning this confrontation, decided to show up commando in a tiny dress that rides up when she moves. Gross girl.
Way to show your whole ass on television.
The saddest part to me is you know she just did that for attention. It’s not like she couldn’t have thrown a thong on, at minimum. She just wanted to make sure she was going to be on the show. Well congrats Tommie, you’re on the show now and all you had to do was give up your dignity. I’m sure it’s worth it.
Anyway my favorite part of the whole thing was that as she was leaving, Tierra decides to take a bottle of champagne with her straight from one of the ice buckets. I say yes to that! You most definitely earned that bottle darling. Plus you’re probably gonna need to something to ice your face with.
Producers are like, as long as you promise not to smash that over anyone’s head, it’s all yours.
Of course Mimi then comes on with her fake outrage to act like she is above it all, and anyway how dare they ruin her birthday party, ehrm, I mean her boo’s birthday party. One quick thing about what Mimi said though. She was like, “the birthday was ruined by two fucking hood rats, that I didn’t even invite to the party.” When are reality TV shows finally going to acknowledge what we all know, this is a TV show. The camera’s affect everything. Why can’t Mimi just be allowed to say that Chris’ party was ruined by two fucking hood rats she HAD to invite because they’re on the same goddamn TV show. What would that take away? I say nothing. What would it add? Reality. Which would be refreshing and pretty cool.
