Welcome trashes, we’ve made it through a fairly underwhelming season of RuPaul’s Drag Race. All the season 8 queens are back on the runway to remind us all that they exist. Acid Betty is wearing something exhausting. Thorgy looks like an insane frog. Robbie Turner looked like a less dreamy dreamsicle. Derrick Barry looked like Britney but with bad eyebrows. I want to play with the bottom of Kim Chi’s dress. That’s all that was notable.
Purse First (aw). Bob the Drag Queen takes the stage in her “ratchet” drag look to a song called I Don’t Like to Show Off, which is hilarious. Not the Drowsy Chaperone song…but kind of.
Bob looks good, is hilarious, and clearly knows how to dance. Girl’s got it all. Ending the number with a lazy death drop, she comes off beautifully. She comes off beautiful and humble in her interview. Carol Channing even skyped in. Bob hands RuPaul a purse so she can makes an entrance Purse First, and I’m pretty sure this joke will be the most memorable moment of this season.
Kim Chi takes the stage with a song called Fat, Fem, and Asian. Oh my god. The choreography is fairly brilliant because it really shows off how good Kim Chi is at standing in one spot and moving her hands. I’m a little bit confused as to why she dressed as Angela Lansbury from Beauty and the Beast, but the silverware being shirtless is also a fresh take.
Fat Fem & Blazin’
Kim Chi STILL has not told her mother that she does drag. And she said she gave her mother the $3,000 from her first challenge win…Did her mom not wonder where that came from? I have so many questions but I know Kim Chi will never truly answer them. But she will make a joke about the pit crew having STDs.
SOOO embarrassed they got this shot of me.
But not as embarrassed as Margaret Cho. RuPaul asks Kim what winning Drag Race would mean to her and she gives a Napoleon Dynamite answer: Everyone who has ever felt alone, if you try, all your dreams will come true.
Naomi Smalls marches around the stage looking great, but not impressing me. I’m just not wow-ed by her, as any of my readers know. They did get another unfortunate shot of me in the crowd, though.
Me face-swapping with Thorgy.
I don’t watch Game of Thrones, but someone from Game of Thrones left a message for Naomi.
Michelle takes the stage in her I-Wasn’t-Invited-To-The-Met-Gala dress and makes a speech about supporting gays. Preaching to the choir!
Remember Dax!? Me neither. I only remember the Jeb! Bush related jokes I made. Thanks for making my job easier, babe. Your outfit is boring, though. Laila looks purple. Cynthia looks like a huge tassel that your mom has on her curtains.
Once again, Naysha returns to the show before anyone even missed her. I just realized that Acid Betty and Miley Cyrus have the same mouth.
Nancy Grace told Acid Betty she loved her impression. Further proof that it was bad.
Thorgy played the violin for us and it redeems the entire season. As if her wig alone didn’t.
Oh look, I forgot to mention Derrick. Anyway.
Finally we get to see ChiChi’s face again, and most importantly, hear THAT VOICE! Forget Morgan Freeman, I need Louisiana Glamour to read everything.
Cynthia is crowned Miss Congeniality, which is surprising. Not Thorgy or ChiChi? I personally voted for Thorgy, but all of the comments were for ChiChi, it appeared. This presidential election is enough stress for me, I can’t deal with this. Congrats, Cynthia! Pay off those medical bills, you deserve it, jello teeths.
Bob deserves the win, and has had it in the bag since episode one. I would have loved for it to be a little more entertaining to watch her win, but this is what we have. This season might be one that is more fun on the binge.
I have LOVED recapping RuPaul for you all this season, even though I didn’t agree with many decisions. Thank you all so much for reading!! I found out just yesterday that I will be covering Famously Single, coming to E! in June, and coming to Brandi Glanville’s list of regrets even sooner. I hope you enjoyed my recaps and I hope you have all the kisses and anal you could ever want. Even if that’s none. Follow me on twitter!! @grumpykat42 – LOVE YOU ALL!
XOXO KAT