Heyyyyy. MissKitty here. If recaps had sound, you would hear that I sound like Demi Moore after smoking 497 cigarettes in between coughing up my colon. MissKitty is recovering from a nasty bout of flu that went into bronchitis. But the recap. must. go… on. I don’t vouch for it being coherent, because one of the medicines prescribed was cough syrup with codeine. So while I wish I look like this right now:
I probably mostly look like this:
This week looks really juicy!! My commenters rocked again this week—I swear I think I have the smartest commenters of any show on TTTV! I mean, how many could even identify who the fuck Pat Conroy is, much less discuss his work? I know who he is, and I’m a fan. I try really hard to bring it every week, and I’m so glad to be appreciated.
We have the usual wakeup montage. Shep and Craig meet for breakfast and Shep teases Craig for getting the fruit plate and tells him to be a man. Eye roll. Yeah Craig, be a real man and eat Fruity Pebbles or hot dogs like Whitney and Shep. Craig gives his post mortem of the bourbon tasting. Shep points out that Craig needs to learn the business and then invites him to North Carolina. Craig wonders if he’s being serious or is just trying to cheer him up. Okaaaay…
Shep Giving Up
Shep says that Linville is where his family has a mountain home and that he spent many a happy childhood summer there. The plan is to stop first in Asheville and then go on to Linville, and then from there onto Drama.. ville. Shep lists the invitees, and everyone is invited except for Kathryn, because Cam and Whitney flat out refuse to go if she’s invited.
“Wait. I’m sorry, WHO is the drama queen? I forget.”
Craig asks what Kathryn did to Whitney except “ruin his best friend’s life” (by tying Thomas’s arms and legs so he couldn’t move, sticking a cattle prod up his ass and collecting his jiz, cackling maniacally and shoving it up her cootch while he helplessly yelled “Kathryn noooooo!” wait, what? Thomas decided to have unprotected sex with her multiple times??! GET OUTTA TOWN!).
Craig interviews that Whitney is the dark, evil one and Cam is drinking his Kool Aid. Hahaha! Love Craig’s willingness to go after two sacred cows on this show.
“The Executive Producer of this show and everyone’s favorite are of no consequence to me ho ho!”
Craig tells Shep to invite Kathryn, and that she wouldn’t be able to go anyway, but it’s the nice thing to do.
Shep’s face, meanwhile has already left to go to Appalachia
Shep calls Kathryn who is busy with piles of boxes everywhere to invite her; as Craig predicted, she can’t go, because she’s on modified bed rest.
Which will be “all the time bed rest” if one of those boxes shifts
Craig is overjoyed that he was the smart one this show
“Yay! I am so smart! S m a r t!
Thomas comes over to Kathryn’s to build her new crib.
Take a goooood hard long look at this shirt; it’ll be the last time you’ll recognize it
Ohhh it’s starting
Kathryn asks him about the trip and mentions that she was invited but that she can’t go. Thomas mumbles and says that he said that unless she could go, he wasn’t going to go. I wish this idiot would make up his mind. Oh and look
It’s happen-innng
Kathryn asks Thomas “casually”who is going on the trip and asks specifically if Landon is going while Thomas gasps wondering if she has a fan to turn on. She ignores him. UGH these two.
She tells him he should go. He tells us he doesn’t want to get too excited and he says to her nonchalantly that maybe he’ll just stay a night. He interviews he’s T-Rav but she’s T-Rex and one wrong move and the building’s destroyed. For some reason that made me LOL. That was pretty good.
Haha I think you meant Godzilla, but still
The crib is complete, as is the transformation of T-Rav’s shirt
Sweatasaurus
We next check in on Cam, who is inviting us into her therapy session. I don’t know what the deal with this is in reality television. I thought the whole point of therapy was to have a safe, PRIVATE space to discuss yourself.
“Hi! Come tell all of America about your issues!”
Cam is there to find out if she’s just not maternal or if she is too anxious to have a baby. Her husband wistfully looks at kids doing things and thinks “how nice” and she looks at kids and thinks “kids are assholes”. Hahahahaha. I’m going to go with “not maternal”.