TMZ – We’re All Breaking Up!
It’s officially summer, bitches, which means you gotta lose that ball-and-chain you’re callin’ a significant other. Fresh off the heels of Tay-Tay and Calvin’s split, Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malick have called it quits (sorry, you’re no longer allowed to listen to “Pillow Talk” now). Which is great! Because Stifler’s mom rented a sick cabin on the lake and every night’s gunna be a blowout of the century, filled to the brim with red solo cups and midriff tops and Jimmy Eat World tracks and pusssaaaayyyyyy bro! Summer of our lives! I love being 19! This feeling will last forever!
People – Speaking Of…
We’re not done talking about Calvin and Taylor. Calvin’s still got a lot to say. Here he is to ruin our Netflix and jerk marathon, waltzing up to the door with a half-empty bottle of Jim Beam and a tee shirt he hasn’t washed since Taylor touched it.
Oh god Kit Harrington shaved his beard. Now he looks like a sad egg with tiny facial features. Why u do dis, kit? YYYYY????!
Perez Hilton – Since It’s a Day Ending in “Y”
Here’s a post about crack pipes found at Lamar Odom’s house. Friends and family suspect Lamar is back on drugs. This is a story I enjoy reporting. Over and over and over. It’s like the expense report I filled out this morning: tedious, inevitable, confusing as fuck.
E! – The Road from Destiny is Long and Winding and Full of Arrest Records
Here’s a mugshot of one of Destiny’s Children, frowning and falling from grace. Fun!