Howdy Trashmii! Last week, Luis learned how to lowball a Schedule A price hike, Fredrik flexed his inner Andy Warhol, and Ryan had a bitch-off with that bitch Amy. Let’s get right to it, shall we?
We open with Ryan getting attacked by Amy for not including her on the call with Sherif. “Neither of us has time to argue about this,” says Amy. Ryan says, “You’re the one that barged in here.” Amy says she thought it would be quick, and that he would agree with her.
Ryan says he’s learned from his partnership with Luis that perhaps he should flirt a little more, so he turns on the charm. He agrees to include her moving forward, a LOT, then tells her how she’s the greatest, because she barged in and forced him into a deal. Whew — crisis narrowly averted, no thanks to Jordan2!
On to Luis, who is meeting with Miriam and Gerard, longtime clients that he considers friends. Miriam and Gerard have been together for 15 years and have two kids, even though Gerard’s at least three or four times older than Miriam. Luis says it’s amazing the old geezer can still reproduce.
They are looking at 870 United Nations Plaza, as they’re moving out of current apartment on the Upper East Side. Their budget is $7 to 9 million. The apartment is very traditional, with Parquet de Versailles floors, burl walnut doors, and other top-of-the line ‘old-person’ features.
Stuffy!
Old!
HAHAHAHAHAAAH!
After Luis falls for the old ‘chopped book’ fakeout trick, they check out the kitchen. Miriam says it’s too stuffy — she can’t handle any more stuffy oldness, please God.
Luis asks what areas they’d be interested in, and they say they want to stay put. “Ok, so we’re going to stay in Midtown East, Upper East Side and explore new options,” says Luis.
Meanwhile in Noho, Fredrik is at the Great Jones Alley listing. Dan raised the prices 5%, but he’s not discouraged. He has a number of showings, and tells one buyer Basquiat painted right here in this building. She says the first person she met when she came to New York was Andy Warhol, himself! Turns out she was a fourteen-year-old muse of his, so Fredrik just has to hug her. “You touched Andy Warhol, and now I touch you!” he says.
“Yay, another 15 minutes!”
He tells us how amazing it was that a person like Andy Warhol — someone who looked so cool and did such awesome things — ever existed. Then he says people say the same thing about him. “So Andy Warhol and I are spiritually connected!” he says.
“I am a deeply superficial person” – Take Your Pick
Everyone thinks the price increase is crazy, including Andy Warhol’s muse, who takes off to cash her Bravo check, and maybe grab some lunch.
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