TMZ – Calvin Harris Betrayed Over Taylor Swift’s New Hookup…Suspected For Weeks Before Breakup
So much DRAMA now that Princess Tay-Tay has wrapped her baby colt legs around charm machine Tom Hiddleston. Calvin Harris no likey. Sorry buddy, but you spin dance mixes…that can’t compete with the sexy cinema magic of Loki. This new relationship is about as real as a My Little Pony and Tay-Tay’s Instagram posts with her girlfriends.
Pajiba – Trump Declares “Ask the Gays,” Twitter Responds With Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent
Burn, Cheeto Stalin, burn.
Celebitchy – Hopper Penn Reveals That Dad Sean Penn Almost Named Him “Steak Penn.”
We all know celebrities love whack baby names as much as they love constant attention and pretending to eat carbs in magazine interviews, so this story shouldn’t have surprised me but…Steak? Really, Steak. I had an amazing filet at Pistola last week, but that doesn’t mean that one day I would name a kid after it. This gives new meaning to the term “food baby.” Let’s hope that ol’ Penis Nose McRedFace never procreates again, or some future spawn is going to be walking around with the name Blooming Onion Penn, or Filet Mignon (Bloody) Penn. Remember future parents, don’t name on a grumbly tummy.
Jezebel – PETA: Discrimination is Wrong “Whether You’re a Woman or a Chicken”
Thank goodness PETA is here to shine a light on the discrimination that we women face everyday, oh and chickens. Let’s all cluck together for equality because boardrooms and hen houses are all bastions of the patriarchy and must be brought down. This story has not only gotten me fired up, but has made me hungry. Chicken tacos sound good right about now. Oh no! Now I’m guilty of discrimination. STFU, PETA.
Dlisted – The Nina Peterson School for Sugar Babies is Coming Soon to a Brothel Near You – Check Your Local Pimps For Locations
Never heard of Nina Peterson? Well then you must not be a filthy rich old man looking for the best sugar baby money can buy. Don’t call Nina a whore, she’s more like an executive assistant who can only type 5 wpm and gives blowjobs in the boardroom not under the desk like a cheap ho. There is a difference!!! Like all sugar babies, Nina is getting desperately close to the age where she starts to age into her refined sugar toddler stage so she wants to open a school where she can impart her wisdom onto aspiring sugar babies. It’s like Geisha’s teaching the ancient art of the tea ceremony only Nina teaches these girls how to get cum stains out of silk. If any Trashmii are looking for an exciting career change…Nina’s school may be for you (knee pads not included).