Howdy Trashies! This was my very favorite episode of Flipping Out of all time ever so thanks for waiting for this extra-special recap. Let’s get at it!
Last time on Flipping Out…the eternal construction at Valley Vista is seriously impacting Jeff and Gage’s relationship. Jenni is trying to have her second child with Jonathan and is bravely documenting her struggles with infertility. She’s really not a fan of all the shots.
Jeff and Gage met with an attorney regarding the Living Spaces contract termination. He basically told him they fired him and they’re allowed to, planting a seed of anger in Jeff that has yet to dissipate. “I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t deserve this. This was a punch in the gut.” Welcome to 2016 capitalism, my friend.
Jeff and Gage saw their baby for the first time at surrogate Alexandra’s six-week ultrasound, but the baby still looked like a raspberry and they both continually referred to her as some variation of “it” and “This Kid.” And Jeff really did fire Mary and Marty in Newport Beach, meaning he now needs that next job “just a little bit more.”
Oh Mary we loved thee, noncommittal or no…or yes…or no…but the realtor said…
Yeah that was never going to work out. It’s morning at Valley Vista and everyone is beginning to stir.
Even this li’l guy
Jeff has hired a former client, Cat, as a design associate. Not only is she totally gorgeous, she’s married to Mark-Paul Gosselaar – the one and only Zack Morris!
This is the woman who stole Zack’s heart
Cat and Zack working with Jenni in 2011
Jeff tested Cat out with Living Spaces last year and he really liked her design aesthetic. Cat has been yearning to do something other than raise kids, so Jeff brought her back on to help with the Walter E. Smithe project we’ll spend the bulk of this episode focused on.
Walter E. Smithe, a family furniture business
Jeff explains that Walter E. Smithe is a 75-year-old high-end furniture chain out of Chicago. He is trying to create a Creative Director position with Walter E. Smithe, much like the position he created at Living Spaces that went so south. So this is a major chance at redemption if it goes well. No pressure.
Jeff reviews the itinerary for the trip and sees that they’re meeting the Smithe family at 7:00 a.m. local time, which is 5:00 a.m. Jeff’s time. Jeff is not pleased, with his frustration centered squarely on Gage. He tells Gage to make it “later” and Gage gets snippy: “Just tell me times. Just tell me times.” To be fair, Gage has called Jeff on his non-committal responses requiring a mind reader to interpret plenty of times before, so it seems this is a button for him. Jeff immediately snaps, going full-on into “Did you forget I wear the pants in this family?” mode. It’s uncomfortable to watch.
If Jeff ain’t happy, ain’t no one gonna be happy
Gage interviews that he’s looking forward to the Chicago trip mostly so they can leave their recent bickering behind in L.A. for a few days. If only it worked that way. Meanwhile in the office Jeff is now publicly berating Gage for making such a stupid schedule, wondering if Gage at any time even once thought “boy that’s awfully early” when he was booking. Turns out Gage didn’t do the booking at all – the Smithe family set the itinerary.
But now Jeff’s all fired up so instead of apologizing and moving forward, he chastises Gage for acting annoyed by his questions. He explains that the office is mostly empty all day, so for the hour or two in the morning while they’re there, he expects Gage to answer any question Jeff might have without the ‘tude. It’s very put-him-in-his-place and it makes me feel uncomfortable again. Jeff asks Cat if she and Mark-Paul bicker like he and Gage do and she laughs.
Just wait ’til you have kids
She says it just gets worse when you have kids. But fear not! Jeff has found the perfect meditation for his employees, which I have taken the liberty to re-post here in its entirety. Add your own new-age soundtrack.
Allow yourself to be here, fully, in this moment.
“Aw this would drive me nuts”
Keep your eyes closed and begin to connect with your inner world, thought, feeling.
If your thoughts drift to the three-ring shit-show of your life…
…bring your attention back to your breathing.
Take a moment to appreciate the silence.
Those ass holes can’t piss all over impurity like this.
You are weightless. Greet the world and everything in it with a new beautiful breath…
Zoila inhaling
…of fuck that.
“I needa this meditation”
I laughed so hard I cried at that. Finally some hippy dippy California shit I can get behind.