Ahoy!
We open this episode where we last left off: Kelley seeking advice and guidance from Captain Lee about Trevor’s innate talent for rubbing his fellow deckies the wrong way. Unknowingly rubbing Captain the wrong way by instigating this convo, Kelley explains to us that he wants to dip into Lee’s “pool of experience,” in an effort to make a great first impression and nip potential issues in the bud.
His intentions are honorable; let’s just hope that Kelley’s exploration into the Captain’s waters of knowledge halts at a toe dip, and doesn’t escalate into a full-blown cannonball. You’ve got this Kelley, we have faith in you.
Elsewhere, we learn that the primary has a bruise on her ass, complete with photographic proof, offered up for viewing over breakfast. And from within the coziness of flannel, she greatly admires the physiques of her younger, bikini-clad compatriots. A chorus of, “yah bodies!” erupts as they echo her compliments, proving that social media pen pals translate into an awkward real-life experience.
Let’s never leave the confines of our screens again.
The motley crew of guests continues to be glued to their phones, and Kate seems to be fonder of that habit than of their desirable young bodies. Still a blossoming lesbian, she knows her priorities when it comes to being a stew and isn’t distracted by their beauty.
Kelley has left Captain Lee, full of inspiration and determination, and sits down Trevor for a little chat. Starting off with some calculated appreciation and ego stroking, Kelley eases in with a gentle approach.
But do you like my shark necklace bro?
Admitting that he gets “snappy,” Trevor also whines to us that he is being “undermined” by Nico and Lauren, and thinks it’s ridiculous that they’re talking behind his back. He doesn’t let on any of that to Kelley, however, and heeds his warning to shape up, but of course we’re not buying it.
The main task of the day is a beach party for the guests. Kate has, quite literally, paid her dues in the dunes, and is happy to hand off responsibility for this event.
Discussing the day with her stews, Sierra is particularly excited with a smile plastered across her face.
Sandy service with a smile? Aye aye!
Ben is nearby concocting a spread of gluten-free, fat-free, dairy-free, tasteless fare. Yum! He also echoes Kate’s disdain for beach parties, citing sand as a particularly distressing element.
Meanwhile, the guests are already enjoying their day by jumping off the boat, as Trevor continues to mutter the word “undermined” as he squeegees a window. There’s a storm a’brewin!
In the kitchen, Kate declares that Emily will take the lead on service, which is met by a very impressed Ben. Doing a little happy dance with a mouth full of coffee, Kate and Ben are enchanted by little Emily, with Kate suggesting they adopt her.
Easy, Kate. I may want to bang her in the near future.
Nico starts packing up all the accouterment for the party, as Kelley and Lauren head to shore to fetch some more of Ben’s flavor-free provisions. We learn that Barry, of Barry and Larry fame, will be helping as well. Yay!
Sierra and Emily begin a chat about Kate whilst dishwashing.
Ben gets a rare exposure to sunlight, assures them that he’s okay.
Emily drops the bomb that Kate has a girlfriend, which Sierra offers an awkwardly bitten lip to after admitting she swam in the lady pond in college. Inciting giggles from Emily, Sierra hints at being interested in Kate, and we cut to a completely random shot of Ben also giggling, elsewhere, with a mouth full of scrambled eggs? Okay.
At the beach, Nico is arriving, with Barry, who we learn has an accent! Delightful.
Alas, Barry soon leaves Nico alone to set up all the gear. He soon radios to Trevor, who tells him to pick a good spot with a palm tree, in an incredibly helpful move.
#FML
Soothing his #undermined wounds, Trevor tucks in to a pile of French toast in lieu of heading to shore, which he smothers in maple syrup.
Stuffing his mouth as tightly as the Under Armour shirt he is wearing, Trevor declares this unsavory moment as “payback” to Nico for going behind his back.
Maple syrup = the cure for bitterness.
In the kitchen, Ben is explaining the picnic dishes to Kate, who quickly turns the convo to an anecdote about a boyfriend who used to douse his balls in cornstarch. Said boyfriend would apparently dry off his undoubtedly pasty testicles via oscillating fan, but one day the fan broke, so Kate stepped up.
On the beach, we see that Nico is still struggling alone, and calls for Trevor who’s finally done gorging and buttons on his uniform. But back to more important topics: cornstarch + balls!