Hi Trashies! We are back for another week of torture at the hands of these attention-seeking HOs. What do we have? Shannon is moving- she only has 13 days- did you know that? Tamra is reckless. Shannon and Meghan would rather whack balls than call or visit Vicki. And there’s an Uber in Palm Springs with Vicki’s ass print on the back seat… because you know whatever skankery Vicki has going on in her southern hemisphere can eat thru a paper gown. Or a plastic gown. Or a cement gown. Or a uranium gown.
We open with Jolie telling Kelly she’s old.
Tamra does the snatch! Or is it the clean and jerk?
At Cut Fitness- Mia is talking dirty to Tamra making her do squats. It’s the first time that she’s done squats- her back is still quite injured and is in spasm. Tamra and Mia discuss Tamra going to Shannon’s for a packing party. Tamra confesses to Mia that she told Meghan to “Go to hell.” She knows it wasn’t Christian-like, but …. Mia interrupts and says “It came from love.” I love how bible thumpers can justify or spin ANYTHING. Not that I don’t think that Tamra was justified. In her interview, Tamra says she wanted to tell her to STFU and to punch her in the face. Mia tells her she has Christ in her heart.
The Spiritual Gangster Bylaws state: As long as you do it with love, you can do whatever you want. Let’s go rob a GNC.
“I know you killed 26 people, but you had Christ in your heart.”
Oh dear- the Beador girls are at a music studio. They are in a band together and Shannon thinks it’s awesome. Their band is called “LOCK- Ladies of Rock.” They are playing an original song at a gig- called Dreamcatcher. And as far as I can tell, the words are:
You’re a Dreamcatcher, Dreamcatcher
Oh oh oh
Someone get Quincy Jones on the line.
Of course, Stella plays the drums, I would expect nothing less from my girl. Shannon likes to critique. Sterling- their Music Instructor look like John Travolta stumbling out of Shannon’s 70’s party. Where does one get a velvet suit today? And particularly one that doesn’t appear to have been cleaned since 1978. And one that has a salamander hanging from the lapel.
John Revolta
The girls are getting annoyed by Shannon critiquing them- what she’s saying isn’t wrong- she wants them to have some INFLECTION and to, you know, be on pitch.
Of course, like any child they are like “Shut up Mom, you don’t know anything!!!”
That’s where you are wrong, girls. She knows how to embarrass you on television.
Shannon tells them she was in “Madrigals.” They are like- “what’s that? “
“An elite acapella singing group” Shannon responds.
That gets a hard eye roll. Shannon explains that she’s the band’s manager, they just don’t know it yet, and if they did, she’s sure they would have been fired. They are LOCK- Ladies of Rock. She said “Clearly they aren’t Def Leppard which btw the twins were conceived after a Def Leppard concert” T.M.-F-I. Shannon.
Moving on to Vicki- who is hanging around the house- in her neck brace, with- again, full hair and make-up. She is hunching over her phone/counter, which I didn’t even know was possible with a neck brace.
Yes, Yes, now I see the resemblance
She listens to Shannon’s voicemail. The voicemail says that she heard a completely different story about the accident and she hope she’s doing ok and to call her back. Vicki interviews “I don’t care what version she heard- you DROP EVERYTHING-(make a casserole) and rush to the hospital. That’s what a friend does! She’s not getting a call back.” OMG, I can’t with this one.
Tamra calls Kelly and invites her to Shannon’s packing party- but warns her that Meghan is going to be there. We flash back to Tamra telling Shannon she’s going to invite Kelly and Shannon is like- “Let’s resolve things.” Tamra says “it’s kind of scary that I’m the peacemaker. I’m like the Rodney king of the OC.” Ha, I had a brain fart and thought she said Rodney Dangerfield- granted, it’s 5am when I write this.
Now that you mention it… they are similar
Vicki asks Briana what she wants to do for Xmas. Briana is like… it’s April. Vicki wants to take everyone on a cruise. Oh hey, she should bring the girls and maybe they can flip the cruise ship! She asks Briana “Do you think I’ll have a boyfriend by Xmas?” Vicki interviews that the holidays alone suck. And 80-90% of her friends are married “There’s a reason why people get married- because being alone sucks.” Yes, desperation. That’s a great motivation, Vicki. No wonder the divorce rate is so low in this country. Briana says that her mom likes the attention of being hurt so she tends to embellish.