Ooooh it’s a dog that Nisa has been carrying around like conjoined twin head on Toddlers & Tiaras. Guess we don’t need the Drano for that hair ball clog after all.
Last week, we met the Top Models team of Amanda and batshit Nisa; Mykel took a deposit from a mom with no intention of doing her kid’s hair and now it’s a tragedy; and Bowhead Mom Deb is like an after-school special on moms and how their drinking problems can really mess up their children.
The pageant Die-rector Rochelle is actually adorable and she definitely can come drinking with us no problem. Her Supreme Me pageant includes a fancy cape-robe along with a huge crown, so I’m in!
Adorable, and I’d kill for that gorgeous skin!
ACK! Cadence! Wonder if her parents are proud? At least we’re not following her this time!
Rut-roh! Jayliana’s hair looks like total shit and her mom is talkin’ trash about it after paying $300 for Mykel to style it. Man, does Bowhead Deb sound stupid when she talks. It’s like she’s trying to be folksy but it comes across more like drunk trailer trash who thinks she’s funny, but she’s just loud instead.
Addison looks great during beauty despite the fact her lacy socks make it look like she’s wearing huge ankle weights. Even Cambrie had something nice to say, aww. Mom Trish trashes on Mykel and is grateful that at a pageant they were, thank God, able to find another makeup artist. No. WAY!
Landree and Jayliana stare each other down as Nisa trash-talks. Landree is cute and polished, but there is something that makes me just want to smack her into next week. Too many facial expressions or something, it was borderline clown-creepy. Jayliana is pretty but looks surprised to be there and is a little stilted. Nisa trashes on her. Judge Blake aka Tom Petty didn’t like her hair.
Bowhead Deb decides to rinse Jayliana’s in the bathroom, forgetting there was a separate lineup after beauty, so they miss that. Cambrie is pissed because you know, points off!
Sanitary!
Talent is full of talentless kids, especially the kid singing the state song. Kill me now. Addison does “cat” as her talent routine. ‘Nuff said.
Exactly how I felt but I have to stay to recap!
Oh wait, Bowhead Deb and Marcy (we’ve seen her before) got in some bitchass slap-down fight and Deb begins swearing up a storm and threatening to “smash that bitch up.” Jayliana powers through having a skank mom and does a Prince routine once she’s done crying. Nisa trashes on her. Cambrie gets emotional because of stupid moms.
Addison’s back-walkover! Remember, Nisa is the talent coach. Addison is cute, then SPOILER ALERT totally tanks the back-walkover. It. Was. AWESOME. Nisa doesn’t have much to say now, does she?
OMG, Cambrie’s Court needs to stop chanting, they sound nuts and disorganized. Imagine Nisa’s face now.
Cambrie is freaking out because she doesn’t want to lose to Top Models and also because Deb is an idiot, but that’s another story.
I won’t spoiler alert the awards except to say that Cadence’s parents were probably proudly disappointed once again in her showing. Nisa is exhausting. Bowhead Deb is too and it’s like she’s trying to make Cambrie cry.
Your Seeing-Eye-Trish only works if she keeps HER eyes open!
The pageant die-rector likes to mix it up, so she brings up the parents of the top 10 girls, and makes them dig through bowls of noodles to get a surprise – the surprise being the mega ultimate supreme double-crust stuffed with cheese. And Nisa is a huge bitch, again. And so is Bowhead Deb. OMG I hate these women. Full recap coming soon!