Last week, Kelly and Shannon buried the hatchet. Shannon’s kids played a gig and David’s mom said that Shannon pushed David into his affair. But do note, David’s Mom has hated Shannon since the very beginning so, yeah, there’s that.
Ok this was the most boring episode ever. Which is fine with MisRed- I needed a break. In the past 7.5 weeks, I have ruptured 2 discs, been robbed (they stole our refrigerator and broke the front and back doors), performed a wedding, dealt with endless furniture store BS (we special ordered a couch months ago and it sold it to someone else) closed on a new house, packed, moved and unpacked. Thats’s just my personal life- my work life is also ridiculous. On the bright side, at least I didn’t fake cancer and I still have my original face. So MisRed is happy to watch Shannon freak out about moving and people getting rubbed down- it’s a nice change.
Breaking News. Shannon’s house is sold and she has only 13 days to get everything packed up. This is the longest 13 days of my life… not sure about you. Seriously, just hire movers to pack for you Shannon. If you can build a house that is sold for over $9,000,000- suck it up and hire Two Men and a Truck, you tightwad.
The Beadors look at a rental house in Malibu- pretty much the only house on the rental market.
Exactly how would the rat have to be to make a poop this size?
The first thing she says “Is that rat poop?!!?” referring to a small hunk of dirt on the walkway… or it should have been a stray turd that shot out of David’s butt- not sure.
Shannon says the house is completely old: they need to re-seed the lawn, everything is very 80’s, there are sky lights which is horrible feng shui- as is making a fake headstone and play acting your own funeral, but who is counting?
Clearly her feet should be facing the window…she’s in the “death position.”
On the upside, Shannon notes, Kelly lives just down the street, so she can borrow a cup of tequila if needed. Kelly also has a spare psychopath if anyone ever needs one.
David jokes that- now that they are in the rental, he can invite his mom and sister over for a visit. Why would David say that? Has he MET Shannon? Here come 9,783 additional negative thoughts…
Shannon says that David’s mom wanted him to wind up with his affair and it’s pretty hurtful to her- but Shannon can’t worry about that, she needs to be out of her house in 4 days. She has packing to do. Packing up all of her resentment and bitterness to use against David later. Oh darn! Shannon notes- they forgot to bring their electromagnetic energy detector to test the rental for stray waves… oh well, they just need to hope for the best.
Eddie and Tamra go out for sushi. Eddie orders Sake- Tamra says that she can’t drink due to the competition, but Eddie just tells her to work a little harder, so she drinks it. I love someone with no ability to withstand even the slightest amount of peer-pressure. (Oh, MisRed is looking in the mirror, btw.) Eddie pre-ordered lunch, which seems a little odd, but whatever.
Eddie Judge: Borderline Caveman
Eddie eats some shishito peppers and Tamra thinks he eats too loud… he tells her to calm down and stop being so pissy- she’s just stressed out. He suggests she does what it takes calm down… like maybe have sex every night. Tamra announces that she is taking everyone to get rubbed down. Eddie says that being around the ladies will do nothing to calm Tamra down. Thanks Eddie, that is completely NEW information. Shannon and Meghan are not going. Eddie says that David must be stressed living with Shannon. Sparing you the part where Tamra offers Eddie a BJ if he orders more sake that she’s not supposed to be drinking anyway. But it’s ok, she drank it with Christ in her heart.
Kelly brings Psycho Mike a beer in the basement, but she didn’t bring an opener. But it’s no problem, he just uses his teeth to open the beer.
Michael Dodd: Full Caveman
Mike is painting and it looks terrible. He half-asses everything, Kelly explains.
Stevie Wonder paints more neatly
Kelly questions whether their relationship is getting better now that he’s retired and home all the time. I know nothing about their relationship but I can tell you that NO- his being home all the time is not helping this relationship. The only thing that would help this relationship is if Michael lived IN a HOME… with bars on the windows and wearing a jacket that ties in the back. Two control freaks who marry are never a good combination. She said that she has felt suffocated in her relationship in the past. Uh, make that past, present and future.
The Yin to her Yang, The Ding to her Dong
Kelly tells Michael she has a friend who is getting divorced and Kelly recommended that the friend get Michael’s divorce attorney. Michael said that Kelly’s attorney was terrible, but Kelly defends the lawyer saying that she negotiated to get a big chunk of money from Michael, which he was unwilling to pay. I fed my dog unpaid settlements and it died. Michael is like- Time Out! He starts to get into it with Kelly about the divorce that never happened- she says he’s impossible and she can’t talk to him.
