Welcome to the second part of the premiere of the (hopefully) fighting-est season of The Real World! When we left off, Dj Masesobbie was crying because he bit a man’s lip during a game of mega drunk truth or dare, and Tyara’s English accent came through harder as she stopped being polite and started getting real. I’m looking forward to the seven new roommates possibly popping up this episode, so let’s dive on in.
Everyone moves into the living room and Tya explains that she’s all about having fun but didn’t want to play the dumbass game; plus she’s still mad that she overheard Theo and Jordan talking about her. Robbie sits opposite her, listening to Mike and Jordan try to talk her down until…
Oooooh, can’t hold it in!
Out of nowhere, he says that Mike is just embarrassed because he tried and failed to hook up with Jordan, and that’s why he’s upset. I’m not sure what that has to so with anything and neither is anyone else but HOLY SHIT look at Mike’s pit stains.
Chill out, bro.
Mike and Robbie go to drunkenly fight in their bedroom, where Mike calls Robbie a snake and Robbie’s all “you’re an instigator!” which is exactly what Mike said about HIMSELF in his intro, so yeah. Duh. Mike’s all “ooh, are you sure you’re not thinking about you biting another dude’s lip?”. Cool homophobia, bro. Their fight moves back down to the living room where both dudes flail their arms at each other until “security” pulls them apart.
Let’s do some tequila shots to calm down.
Tya leads Mike out of the room but DJ Robbie isn’t giving up that easy – the security guard and Theo keep pulling him back and eventually the security guy has to full on pin Robbie on the couch to keep him from going after Mike and probably getting punched in the face.
Seriously though, tequila shots?
Everyone is crazy drunk and emotional and retreats – Robbie is crying on the phone to his dad named Carmine (of course his name is Carmine), Anika is crying because it was the lure of her boobs that caused Robbie to bite Theo’s lip and get shamed by Mike, and Mike and Jordan are trying to console Anika (and in Mike’s case probably trying to see aforementioned boobs again).
What a sweetheart.
A supervising producer decides that things probably won’t calm down tonight, so she sends Robbie to spend the night in a hotel for the night, and they’ll decide if he can stay in the house or not the next day. Cut to:
The biggest drama so far today is Tyara wondering who keeps putting the parmesan cheese in the fridge because she likes it out of the fridge, okay? Theo and Tya are semi-flirting over eggs until seemingly out of nowhere they start discussing Theo’s cousin. Theo says he didn’t talk to his cousin for two years because he lost his football scholarship, and was arrested, due to his cousin keeping weed in Theo’s dorm room. Elsewhere, Jordan is talking to her mom on the phone about Tya overhearing her and Theo’s conversation in the confessional room.
Wait, her mom’s name is what now?
Simultaneously, Tya is texting HER mom about Jordan being shady. Jordan’s all “now the girls don’t like me”, and Tya’s all “no one ever likes me” and I’m ready for someone to get into another fight.
Back in the living room, everyone is debating whether or not to let Robbie back in the house, just like if they really have a say in it. They’re undecided, but he strolls back in with his backpack and calls a house meeting.
“I wanna apologize to each one a youse” Actual words said.
Everyone accepts his apology, and really Robbie is being harder on himself than anyone else is – he keeps saying he hates himself for acting that way…but come on man, as far as The Real World goes that fight was basically a handshake, there’s no need to keep beating yourself up about it.
The next day or maybe later that same day – it’s unclear – Jordan wants to talk things out with Tyara; but Tyara’s not feeling it.
I feel like Tya and I are soulmates.
CUT TO: 30 minutes later, for some reason. Mike apologizes to DJ Robbie while pounding down some spaghetti, and says he has nothing but love for him. I don’t think that’s true, but at least it gives Robbie a chance to put two tried and true reality catch phrases together.
All that’s missing is “this isn’t the time or the place”.
A producer calls up to the house and commands the roommates to go watch fireworks, as it is the 4th of July. I wonder if there will be figurative as well as literal fireworks tonight – fingers crossed. They all board a boat and Jordan complains to Anika that Tya won’t talk things out with her. Anika is on Jordan’s side on this fight, while Tya is on the side of wine.
Girl, yes.
For the whole cruise, Tyara avoids the rest of the roommates (except the best roommate, wine). Theo chases after her to try to get her to stop isolating herself, and then everyone stops fighting or avoiding fighting to watch the fireworks.
Great observation.
There’s way too much time given to the fireworks, which are really NEVER cool to look at through a screen, but at least over everyone’s semi-bonding we get to see the following words pop up: “What they don’t know is – seven days until their Bad Blood arrives”. DUN DUN DUN.