TMZ – Do Not Feed the Trolls, Amy
Jezebellian Cool Girl™ Amy Schumer, who enjoys all of life’s delicious vices, allowed a sad, misguided man on stage at a recent show in Tampa to explain why he’s voting for Donald Trump, a Cheeto-dusted kidney stone running for president. After the lost soul said his piece, Amy was booed for being a rational human being that gave every voice – no matter how cracked – a sounding point. So there we are. America the beautiful.
Jezebel – Azealia Banks Sounds Fucking Insane and Hilarious
Here’s a story about Azealia Banks, who visited Russell Crowe with her friend who I’ve never heard of unless RZA is an electronics brand, RZA. Apparently Zales was asked to leave after flipping her god damn top, calling Russell and his guests “boring white men,” (true), and threatening “You would love it if I broke my glass, stabbed you guys in the throat, and blood would squirt everywhere like some real Tarantino shit.” Haha! What a fun evening. What a lovely young lady. What a gay affair.
Page Six – Speaking of Screeching Harpies Threatening Rich White Dudes
Boring lady Jessica Biel said she “threatened his life” when asked why Justin Bieber did a soundtrack for her movie. Hollywood marriages are so cute! 
People – Robert Pattinson, Literal Ghoul
Robert Pattinson, a dark and captivating shadow who doesn’t know how to use furniture or close his mouth, says he dropped so much weight for his movie The Lost City of Z that he had a 28-inch waist when he returned to London. Which made it easy for him to skirt around town, stealing crumpets off counters when people aren’t looking. Which just seems like something Robert Pattinson would do. I dunno, what do you want from me.
Huffington Post – BREAKING: DONALD TRUMP KNOWS WHAT UNCLE TOM IS (A BLACK PERSON)
When he wasn’t busy chasing skirts and vomiting on the Equal Rights Amendment, Malibu Barbie’s dirty old grandpa Donald Trump was being a big friendly racist shithead on the set of Celebrity Apprentice. Lil Jon (remember him? he used to shout things and call it music and it was just a delight) claims that when he donned an Uncle Sam costume for an Apprentice venture, Donald kept calling him “Uncle Tom” and continued even after cast members had to tell him why it was offensive. But Donald found that razor sharp wit of his more important than common decency, so he ran the hilarious knee slapper into the ground. LOL! Uncle Tom. Because he’s black. So funny.
Want more TrashTalk? Follow us on Twitter for updates of recaps as they publish, like us on Facebook for a daily update, watch our TV parody vids on YouTube, or for funny TV pics, heart us on Instagram, and get the occasional gif on Tumblr!