Hola Trashies! Sorry about the delay, I’ve had some medical issues pop up and I’m currently writing this high as a kite – which is the only way I suggest you watch this show and also, how I suspect these participants decided to sign up for this show!
I’m writing from Sunny South Florida, where these three marriages took place and honestly – I don’t see why they don’t do more interesting “Florida” things here. I’d love to see a couple go to the Everglades, wrestle a gator and maybe get eaten by one. I’m just kidding, I don’t want to see anyone die. Maybe pee their pants a little, though.
Anyway, when we last left off with this show, the producers were trying to string the viewers along with Heather and Derek pretending there was still a story to tell and suggesting that Heather had second thoughts. Not a chance, Heather is ice cold and Derek’s doofy squint is not gonna melt that heart. Nuh uh. The producers have Heather and Derek set for a sit down, again. Heather says the usual nice things you say about a horrible blind date that lasted too long. Heather says that Derek was a nice person, and she doesn’t hold any ill will towards him, blah blah blah. Then Derek enters and they sit next to each other – AGAIN.
Derp! You again?!
The “therapist” asks them if they learned anything about themselves during this experience, and Derek says that he learned to really push himself and Heather says that she learned to trust herself. Which is AMAZING. I actually really like Heather for sticking to her guns on this. She had high hopes, and then when things unravelled it was a big – NO WAY. Which kudos to her. I am sure every contestant from a failed marriage in the past three seasons is like “Doh! I shoulda done that!” It also makes me wonder if this will affect any of the marriages for the next season.
The therapist asks Derek if he has any second thoughts, and you now – blame the producers for this because they just set him up to look like a fool. He tells Heather that he doesn’t think they gave it enough of a chance and asks if she’s thought about maybe rethinking her decision?
Absolutely not. You can actually SEE Heather get more rigid (as if that was possible). She says, delicately, that no she’s not interested in giving it another shot and actually she is confident in her decision to end the marriage. Of course Derek can’t help himself and he snaps that he’s surprised she didn’t bring the divorce papers with her. It’s terribly immature, but then again these people don’t have a great track record so I’ll let this slide. He’s getting humiliated on television and I gather he’s feeling kind of insecure. But he’s still acting like a damn baby.
In order to drag this thing out a little further, the producers have given Heather and Derek an assignment. They each meet with a friend, and that friend has to give them unfiltered feedback as to their faults. It’s actually pretty awesome, and I think we all should do that in life. Except maybe don’t use Heather’s friend. She is terribly direct. It’s uncomfortable to watch, but also WONDERFUL. There’s no way those two are still friends after this.
Okay, so Derek meets up with an old girlfriend who is most definitely still sleeping with. They dated for a year and a half, and it didn’t work out and they are friends now. Which I never believe this. I have it on good authority that exes just keep you around as a friend in order to ruin your life when you are ready to move on. Maybe that’s just me. Okay, moving on.
The girlfriend/bootycall tells Derek that she thinks he needs to work on his patience and his anger issues and when his feelings get hurt he lashes out. Holy hell, has she been watching this show with us? Derek takes it well, because honestly that’s all Derek’s been doing this entire show.
Heather’s friend – is she really a friend? Okay, yes. A friend tells you the truth. And a friend also shares that truth on camera, regardless of how hurtful it is. Her friend tells Heather that she can be judgmental, comes off very stuck up and cold. Her friend tells her that she can appear pretentious and needs to work on her warmth. Damn, girl. Heather takes it, but also looks like very shocked that her friend is taking this seriously and being so truthful. It also appears as if Heather has never heard this information before, which might be the case because when Derek told her she thought she was better than everybody else, her response was “I’m sorry I’m so classy and my life is amazing!” Sooo, yeah. Now Heather is perfectly aware of what the rest of America is aware of. She’s stuck up and frigid. Good luck girl!