Welcome back to Drag Race All Stars you guys!! We are all winners, baby, in life, but this week Mrs. LikeaLady was less than a winner and thus needs this show more than anything. I need every ounce of the fabulosity and forced scream-crying. Life without Alaska’s drawl is stupid.
Last week, speaking of scream-crying, Detox sent home NOT ROXXXY. She CANNOT send ROXXXY HOME. Mm’kay?
Katya totally would have sent home Roxxxy, but not because there is a vendetta.
This week, everyone will be turning into singer-song writers.
The queens will also be featured on a podcast with Ru and Michelle. Sometimes the challenges of the week are…. Tenuously… barely… related. But that’s what I love. I too would like to be an evil genius ala Tyra Psycho Banks who runs a reality show and comes up with weird, mildly torturous tasks to force people into. E.g. When a Top Model contest who experienced a recent death was made to pose in a coffin. That level of psycho. Okay. Tangent over. Because this show is way better and way less insane.
Oh and also there will be a selfie on a stick dot com picture. You see how it all fits together?
First pressing question to ye old 49th state herself: Is Relaskatox back in action? Answer: UGH. Excellent interview, everyone, that’s a wrap!
Relaskatox is apparently a traumatizing event.
Katya’s podcast interview goes much better. She has a voice in her friend called Brenda. Brenda is a bitch. Carl is a hot relaxing person who counteracts her. I love this. We all have a Brenda. My Brenda is telling me to F fitting into a wedding dress and order a fudge brownie to be delivered to the house STAT. Carl is telling me my ass will never look like Roxxxy’s if that happens.
Alaska singing is like a whisper drawl that I cannot get enough of. She sounds like a person singing herself to sleep. It is heaven. The mean producer man makes her use a real singing voice, which I do NOT appreciate.
Now, I give you a discussion over whether winning is a math equation:
First you divide by the number-eighter and add the quote-that-bitch.
I mean it is and it isn’t math.
Now it is time for everyone to practice their choreography. I love when Mr. Choreography Man comes to visit. It’s the guest that should have come to the Mrs. LikeaLady neighborhood long ago.
Reading is SEXUAL, kids. Stay in school.
Science says I’ll win.
You guys, I’m super worried about the science and math classes they all took in high school.
The queens all share romantic thoughts about their favorite parts of the competition. Alaska’s was when Roxxxy was in the bottom two and almost went home. But she is trying not to be serious and be more light-hearted. Sounds do-able.
HEAVEN.
Seriously, I hope that all of the lyrics the queens wrote were really written by them. Because they are more clever and witty than I can ever dream of being and I’m impressed.
Drop it like it’s not awkward at all.
Ru’s face is all we need.
The live rendition of the song really was amazing. I’m quite impressed.
The runway looks are pretty freaking GLAM:
The softer side of Sears.
Classy Russian Whore
Family goods on show
Alaska’s lyrics are given the big thumbs up because they were HIGHlarious. Katya stole my heart with her Russian rap. Ru breaks into tears over how proud he is to pass on the drag legacy to these talented individuals. Me: BUT WHAT ABOUT ALYSSA.
The top three of the season are: Everyone but Roxxxy. They all must lip sync for their LIVES.
Alaska kind of kills it.
Alaska smears make up all over her face and feels it. She wins and I approve. Not as good as Alyssa, but also good.
The queen.
I loved this show so much. It found it be such a delicious mix of bitchiness and a beautiful message. It’s like therapy and hilarity and glitter all rolled into a perfect package. You can find me until next time watching back episodes of Drag Race until I know the ins and outs of every single fabulous queen. Thanks for reading everybody!
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