Welcome K-fans to the longest, most-stretched out television program in history! Gees, it cannot get any more inane! In a nutshell, this episode has Kim learning to braid North’s hair; since Rob won’t let the sisters play dress-up with him to get him to appear in a public venue, they re-create Lord Disick for Scott — by promoting him to a Duke; and, Corey makes a contractual appearance as Mr. Kris Jenner. Pour the Vodka, let’s roll:
Here is a little game to play: Guess who says it! The answers are at the end of the recap.
- I have a good ass.”
- “I was just flying all over the world getting in trouble. But if everyone wants it, I’m happy to bring it back.”
- “I’m proud of my parenting skills – nothing happens overnight – you have to learn. And try your best and keep practicing.”
- “Each marble represents how many weekends I have left in my life.”
- “I like wearing Gucci sandals, a Dodger hat, black basketball shorts, and a black t-shirt.”
Rob, Kim, Kris, Khloe, North are all talking about MJ’s (Kris’s mom) upcoming birthday. They will plan a big celebration in San Diego and go to the races at DelMar, which is one of MJ’s favorite things to do. They all agree to go. And it will be a good time to introduce MJ to Chyna. Khloe asks why Kris has a bowl of marbles in her house. Kris explains that each marble represents how many weekends she has left in her life — assuming she lives to be 80 or 85. Khloe asks: “What happens when it gets down to four?”
Khloe and Scott are in the car together. He’s still missing the kids. He has been flipping houses, and that great, but he’s still alone. And he has too much time on his hands. He is jealous about Kourtney and the kids – he doesn’t like these separate family vacations. Memories are happening but he’s not part of them.
Rob, Kim, and Kris are talking about their styles. Kim is into Kimonos. Kris wears black or copies Kim. Khloe says she is worried about Scott – he is getting in a rut and staying in it. She misses “ The Lord Disick.” Kris remarks that he was like Frank Sinatra when he was The Lord — he needs to shave and wear pocket scarves. Khloe says he was fun and silly when he embodied The Lord. Lately Scott is taking things too seriously and forgetting to have fun. They decide to help him find happiness.
Kim is having lunch with her friend Larsa Pippen. Kim reports that North just had her second violin lesson and that North is obsessed with it. The teacher says she will be able to read music before she knows the alphabet. Larsa and Kim talk about doing their kids’ hair. Kim complains that North’s hair is so curly and Kim has trouble fixing her hair. She feels bad because it is so important for North to feel pretty.
Kris’s house – Khloe and Scott are there. Kris and Khloe are showing Scott the Lord swag from when he was Lord Disick. Kris has saved everything: the flags, the robes, the eyepatch, the canes, etc. Scott likes the idea. He felt that when he was the Lord he was just flying all over the world getting in trouble. But if everyone wants it, he’s happy to bring it back.
The Lord Disick eyepatch?
Khloe’s house – Rob is there. They call Chyna– Khloe asks her how to isolate her upper thighs to make them wiggle. She says to just jiggle her thighs, and it will make her ass wiggle. (This is just weird.) Khloe says that all the sisters have developed a good relationship with Chyna and that is a good thing. Malika comes over. They discuss the upcoming trip to the horse races – Rob says he won’t go because he can’t wear anything appropriate due to his weight. Khloe says if he wears sweats she will, too. What does she care what people think? (I bet she cares a lot!) She says it’s important that Rob attend MJ’s 82nd birthday – who knows how many she has left? And the race track is special to the family – Kris and MJ spent a lot of time there. And apparently Kris met their father at the races.
How many shoes does a Ho need?
Scott goes to an airshow in London. It brings back memories of being “royal.” Then we see a black and white montage of when he became Lord Disick. Now he decides he needs a plane. This is the biggest air show in the world. He needs Lord Airways. The plane he looks at only costs $40,000,000. He will buy nothing less than a Gulfstream. He will call it Lordstream.
Got my joystick!
Back to LA — Khloe is in the pool with the kids. She and Kim and Malika talk about Rob not going to the races. He’s insecure and doesn’t have new clothes. Kim decides to call him to talk him into it. She offers to get a stylist for him. (This is after all her specialty! Last week she styled Caitlyn.) Again it is mentioned that MJ might not have many birthdays left. Kim tells him, for his own soul, he needs to get up and get motivated. He agrees. After all that effort Kim needs to take a five-minute nap.
ASS shot
Kim and Khadijah go to see Kim Kimble, a celebrity hair stylist who teaches how to do different hair techniques. Kim wants her to teach her how to braid and take care of North’s curly hair. North is proud of her curly hair, but styling it is overwhelming for Kim. She needs to practice. The hair stylist offers to let Kim take home a doll to practice on. (Why not just practice on North?)
Scott is at Kim’s – he still has too much time on his hands. He tells her he likes her outfit – it makes her look skinny. He tells her about the aviation show in London and how excited he is about it. But, he says, It’s not easy shopping for a jet. She asks why he’s buying a plane. He says he’s already done cars, he’s done everything. Now it’s time for a plane. He will put “The Lord” on the side, but says it won’t be pretentious. Kim feels he’s missing the point they were trying to make about bringing back the Lord. He has become extreme and extravagant.
Khloe is at Rob’s house with him. Kim has sent tons of sample clothes for him to try on. But he’s uncomfortable in his own body. He has a bad attitude – he says before even trying anything on that nothing will fit him. Khloe is trying to maintain a positive attitude. She asks what he is comfortable in. He replies: “I like wearing Gucci sandals, a Dodger hat, black basketball shorts, and a black t-shirt.”
At her house, Kim is trying to braid the doll that was loaned to her from the hair stylist. Malika and Khadijah are there, too. Kim has no skills at braiding, even though she says she has been practicing. She hopes she can figure it out. It is embarrassing.
Scott is over at Kim’s house again. He is bored. She tells Scott that all the media is saying that Rob and Chyna have broken up and Rob has deleted all pictures of Chyna. Scott doesn’t know anything about it. They call Rob. He’s not answering his phone. She decides to call Chyna. Chyna says that he got upset with her when she tried to help him with advice with his business stuff. She needs to remain stress-free because of the baby, so she’s just blowing it off. No big deal. Chyna thinks it all has to do with his not wanting to go to MJ’s birthday party. This way he can blame it on Chyna. She says they like to push each others’ buttons.
Scott charters a plane to fly to San Diego with his kids and Kourtney for MJ’s birthday celebration. He insists: “A Lord would charter an aircraft.”
Kim and Khloe and North are in the car driving to San Diego. Kim and Khloe are surprised to find out that Scott and family took an airplane. Kim doesn’t think Scott understands about the Lord thing – it’s not to be a douchebag and obnoxious. They just wanted him to show personality, not to be extravagant.
This is how the Kardashians drive a car
In San Diego the family stays at La Valencia – where they used to stay when they were growing up. Kim announces that Chyna will meet them at the restaurant – without Rob — Chyna wants to show her support for MJ. She’s making an effort for the both of them.
I run the show
Why are you here? Because it’s in your contract!
The birthday girl
MJ’s birthday celebration – everyone there, except Rob. MJ makes snark about Chyna coming instead of Rob. Kim likes that Chyna is coming, but it sucks that Rob flaked. Everyone who has a smart phone at dinner realizes that Rob has blocked them. MJ is upset. Everyone is disappointed in Rob. Despite the Rob drama, MJ says it was a good birthday and she was glad everyone else made it.
Yay! Alcohol! Big Drinks!
More toasts!
ASS Shot!
More alcohol!
China arrives
Chyna’s killer nails. Rob ought to be careful …
Later that night, Khloe and Kim show Scott a royal crest they had made for him. And they have promoted him to a Duke – Duke Disick. (There are a lot of jokes about “Double D’s). This will be a clean slate to be whatever persona he wants to be. They explain they just want him to be fun again, not materialistic. He appreciates that they all care about him, and he’s happy to be a Duke.
Kim, Khloe and Kourtney are in the hotel the next morning talking about Rob. Why on earth would be leave a pregnant girlfriend? His actions are crazy. He has to deal with his problems and he cannot run away from them.
Kendall comes down for the races – she couldn’t come for the dinner but came for this part of MJ’s celebration. Kim worked on North’s braids and is excited about how they turned out. She is proud of her parenting skills. “Nothing happens overnight – you have to learn. And try your best and keep practicing.”
These are the braids Kim is so proud of?
At the races — The Duke is way dressed up. But he wants to be a Lord, not a Duke. The horse that Khloe and Scott bet on wins. So he says he will now buy an aircraft with the winnings. He says it was a good luck item to come back as The Lord.
At Kourtney’s – Rob comes in and Khloe confronts him about not going to San Diego and basically disappearing. He says he didn’t want to hear from anyone, so he went to Vegas instead. He said he got in a disagreement with Chyna so he didn’t want to go. Khloe says if only you would communicate instead of disappearing. But he says if he told them beforehand they would get all dramatic and judgmental. Khloe is glad that he is at last talking about things. Rob says he and Chyna are good now. On the way out of the room, Khloe’s ass is exposed. Kim and Kourtney call her on it. She says: “I have a good ass.”
Khloe channeling Miley Cyrus?
Kim’s shirt is on inside out! Usually that happens during a “Walk of Shame”
Ultimate ASS shot
Next time: Scott is doing water aerobics with women 20 years older; Kendall has sleep paralysis and is stressed about her heavy travel schedule. Seems like same old same old.
Answers to the quiz from the beginning of the recap: