The spooky haunted house episode opens with some rich lady we don’t know driving up to a ramshackle mansion. She’s rich enough for a driver but hip enough for a slouchy knit hat. Someone’s auditioning for The Real Housewives of Sleepy Hollow. She finds a closet full of dried-out vines. Instead of being grossed out and shutting the door like a normal person she tries to pull them out. She cuts her hand and the vines come alive, wrapping around her as she screams. At the Police Sheriff headquarters Crabbie are arriving with food from a “Scottish” drive through. But Ich hates the fries (blasphemy!) which he claims aren’t French but from the Austrian Netherlands. Honestly, are the writers just trying to get history wrong now? Belgium and France both lay claim to inventing them but Ich’s buddy Jefferson attributed them to the French. Please note this has nothing to do with the plot line, it’s just irritating. And who doesn’t like McDonald’s fries? Commies, that’s who. Where were we? Right, today’s attempt by Ich to get Abbie to reunite with her sister. They discuss Thanksgiving and Abbie makes the ridiculous claim that the Pilgrims ate turkey, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie at the first Thanksgiving. I know she was in and out of foster care so perhaps didn’t have a great education but don’t they cover “Pilgrims had no food until the Indians shared” in elementary? Ich’s as offended by her idiocy as I am. Ich’s sick of hearing about holidays because he misses the heaving bosoms. And probably the woman to which they were attached. Irving calls them in to tell them that Lena Gilbert, billionaire socialite with lineage back to the founding fathers, has gone missing. Abbie doesn’t understand why this is their case. Irving shows them a note from her desk with the name “Katrina C.” circled. The GPS from her car shows Sleepy Hollow as her last location. Abbie warns Ich not to assume it’s his Katrina. They find a Wiki-type article that shows Lena’s lineage goes back to a friend of Ich’s and he realizes where she is. At the creepy house they find Lena’s car and a flashback. Katrina had been pestering Ich to visit the manor for months. So he took time off from fighting the British/evil to attend a dinner party. Katrina is all smiles and beehive hairdo as they enter the house. She tells Ich that servants, who are all black, are free and are paid servants who choose to work there. The house is a safe haven for anyone seeking refuge. Is she smuggling escaped slaves in that hair?Back in the present day Ich tells Abbie that most visitors were former slaves and many just decided to stay and work for the owner. I am not an expert historian or psychiatrist but that strikes me as a rather easy tale to tell yourself when trying to appease your guilt about living in a society built on slave labor. He’s […]
The spooky haunted house episode opens with some rich lady we don’t know driving up to a ramshackle mansion. She’s rich enough for a driver but hip enough for a slouchy knit hat. Someone’s auditioning for The Real Housewives of Sleepy Hollow. She finds a closet full of dried-out vines. Instead of being grossed out and shutting the door like a normal person she tries to pull them out. She cuts her hand and the vines come alive, wrapping around her as she screams. At the Police Sheriff headquarters Crabbie are arriving with food from a “Scottish” drive through. But Ich hates the fries (blasphemy!) which he claims aren’t French but from the Austrian Netherlands. Honestly, are the writers just trying to get history wrong now? Belgium and France both lay claim to inventing them but Ich’s buddy Jefferson attributed them to the French. Please note this has nothing to do with the plot line, it’s just irritating. And who doesn’t like McDonald’s fries? Commies, that’s who. Where were we? Right, today’s attempt by Ich to get Abbie to reunite with her sister. They discuss Thanksgiving and Abbie makes the ridiculous claim that the Pilgrims ate turkey, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie at the first Thanksgiving. I know she was in and out of foster care so perhaps didn’t have a great education but don’t they cover “Pilgrims had no food until the Indians shared” in elementary? Ich’s as offended by her idiocy as I am. Ich’s sick of hearing about holidays because he misses the heaving bosoms. And probably the woman to which they were attached. Irving calls them in to tell them that Lena Gilbert, billionaire socialite with lineage back to the founding fathers, has gone missing. Abbie doesn’t understand why this is their case. Irving shows them a note from her desk with the name “Katrina C.” circled. The GPS from her car shows Sleepy Hollow as her last location. Abbie warns Ich not to assume it’s his Katrina. They find a Wiki-type article that shows Lena’s lineage goes back to a friend of Ich’s and he realizes where she is. At the creepy house they find Lena’s car and a flashback. Katrina had been pestering Ich to visit the manor for months. So he took time off from fighting the British/evil to attend a dinner party. Katrina is all smiles and beehive hairdo as they enter the house. She tells Ich that servants, who are all black, are free and are paid servants who choose to work there. The house is a safe haven for anyone seeking refuge. Is she smuggling escaped slaves in that hair?Back in the present day Ich tells Abbie that most visitors were former slaves and many just decided to stay and work for the owner. I am not an expert historian or psychiatrist but that strikes me as a rather easy tale to tell yourself when trying to appease your guilt about living in a society built on slave labor. He’s […]