Hola Trashies! Thanks for your patience with me last week, but I have to tell you – this week’s episode is light on drama and heavy on the heart. Seriously you guys, I was watching this episode on my phone at the gym and I totally cried on the elliptical. Okay, it was probably because I snapped a tendon but it COULD have been because Asa’s family reunion was beautiful. So I’m gonna try snark this up a bit without being disrespectful to an entire culture and religion. Instead I’ll just disrespect these peeps individually. What is it with these Bravo shows filming people packing? Snooze. Anyway Asa is packing and getting ready for her Turkey trip and decides to call everyone to talk to them about the drama. First call, Reza. “Hey Reza, don’t forget to pack a thong and a tacky suit! Just kidding, try and fly under the radar you big gay because it IS the Middle East.” I bet Reza’s never been better served with that mustache of his as far as the “blending in” thing goes. Asa tells Reza she’s terribly excited to go to a place where “everyone looks like us.” Oh damn, this is gonna be a hard episode to watch if that’s the case. Next phone call is to MJ who is lost in a haze of champagne, qualudes and delusion in her giant closet. She’s not sure what to pack, her pill bottle of vitamins, seventeen pairs of Tom Ford sunglasses (she’s the only one in the world who wears them) or her chihuahas. Asa tells her to pack a suitcase full of “Shut Up,” and not to fight on the trip. And also, to leave the corsets at home since you know, it’s still the Middle East. Finally, she calls GG who cracks me up with her statement T-Shirt. GG is also confused about what to pack, a striped referee uniform or a switchblade . . . Decisions, decisions. I think there’s a typeo . . . it should read “I Hate MJ and/or Leila”After a 12 hour flight, they arrive in Istanbul and we get to see Asa’s second crazy headgear of the episode. Damn, I love Asa so much. She always delivers. Anyway, they poppin’ Champagne bottles on their little minibus and I bet they’re all thrilled that Turkey is a secular country so they can guzzle the champs. Although I don’t think MJ would step foot in a country that forbids alcohol. She’d be headed for the border in 20 minutes. Reza congratulates the girls for not getting in a fight on the plane, but GG admits she was drugged out. Asa tells everyone that today is the last day of Ramadan and they get into a conversation about Ramadan and compare it Yom Kippur. Mike insensitively teases them about Ramadan and then dismissively interviews that Turkey and the Middle East means nothing to him emotionally or culturally and it’s the same as visiting Jamaica. Damn, Mike. […]
Hola Trashies! Thanks for your patience with me last week, but I have to tell you – this week’s episode is light on drama and heavy on the heart. Seriously you guys, I was watching this episode on my phone at the gym and I totally cried on the elliptical. Okay, it was probably because I snapped a tendon but it COULD have been because Asa’s family reunion was beautiful. So I’m gonna try snark this up a bit without being disrespectful to an entire culture and religion. Instead I’ll just disrespect these peeps individually. What is it with these Bravo shows filming people packing? Snooze. Anyway Asa is packing and getting ready for her Turkey trip and decides to call everyone to talk to them about the drama. First call, Reza. “Hey Reza, don’t forget to pack a thong and a tacky suit! Just kidding, try and fly under the radar you big gay because it IS the Middle East.” I bet Reza’s never been better served with that mustache of his as far as the “blending in” thing goes. Asa tells Reza she’s terribly excited to go to a place where “everyone looks like us.” Oh damn, this is gonna be a hard episode to watch if that’s the case. Next phone call is to MJ who is lost in a haze of champagne, qualudes and delusion in her giant closet. She’s not sure what to pack, her pill bottle of vitamins, seventeen pairs of Tom Ford sunglasses (she’s the only one in the world who wears them) or her chihuahas. Asa tells her to pack a suitcase full of “Shut Up,” and not to fight on the trip. And also, to leave the corsets at home since you know, it’s still the Middle East. Finally, she calls GG who cracks me up with her statement T-Shirt. GG is also confused about what to pack, a striped referee uniform or a switchblade . . . Decisions, decisions. I think there’s a typeo . . . it should read “I Hate MJ and/or Leila”After a 12 hour flight, they arrive in Istanbul and we get to see Asa’s second crazy headgear of the episode. Damn, I love Asa so much. She always delivers. Anyway, they poppin’ Champagne bottles on their little minibus and I bet they’re all thrilled that Turkey is a secular country so they can guzzle the champs. Although I don’t think MJ would step foot in a country that forbids alcohol. She’d be headed for the border in 20 minutes. Reza congratulates the girls for not getting in a fight on the plane, but GG admits she was drugged out. Asa tells everyone that today is the last day of Ramadan and they get into a conversation about Ramadan and compare it Yom Kippur. Mike insensitively teases them about Ramadan and then dismissively interviews that Turkey and the Middle East means nothing to him emotionally or culturally and it’s the same as visiting Jamaica. Damn, Mike. […]