Hiya, Flock of Trashgulls, and welcome to another week (or should I say “weeks”?) of The Amazing Race.
In case you were wondering, I didn’t run, run so far away from recapping last week — I was just waiting for TTTV’s Flux Capacitors to start Fluxxing again (thanks, Ronnie, for the awesome job!) before getting back at it.
So here we are, and this week, I’ll be recapping both week 6 and week 7. The good news is, it’s another “To Be Continued” episode (I know, I know. “Spoiler Alert!”) so it all works as one giant episode. One giant, fairly boring episode.
Any announcements? Last week, Mr Name Dropper showed how cheap cheap could be (which got him onto The Soup), and had his name changed to Mr Big Spender, thus making him and the saintly Ms Name Dropper (yep, I said it. Last week showed how annoying he could be, making her look way better in comparison) into The Big Droppers. Also, this week will be a “non-themed” week due to the 2-episode jam-up. Finally, I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year (I’m currently doing an excellently half-assed job of it — let’s see if I could pull it through, though) — if anyone else is, I’d love to hear from you.
Now we begin… The Amazing Race: Incompetence.
We go right into the review from last week, where they talk about all of the spectacular idiottude that led to Team Dean winning and Team Hep getting Philiminated. I would try to refresh you with the memories, but the recaps do a much better job of it — they (the episodes, not necessarily the recaps) were amazing: Week 4 and Week 5.
And so we start…
We start with Team Dean enjoying being in first place. Bitchy BroCode comes up to them, and they’re thrilled to see him. Then, something happens that scars me for life.
You know that thing that cute twenty-something girls do where, instead of a regular hug, they jump on a guy in a full-body hug? Well…
It’s not so hot when it’s your grandmother doing it.
That is one creepy old woman. They chat some more, and Bitchy goes up a little in my estimation by not vomiting on the spot. Then I start to wonder about Boy Dean… if maybe he has a secret.
I’m not even gay, y’all. I just said that to keep the crazy bitch off me.
Anyway, we zoom to the morning, where Team Dean are ready to go at 5:40am. Then we jump right into the Road Block: Get Your Heart Pumping
In this “Product Placement Road Block”, the member of the team needs to bungee jump off of the 384-foot tall Victoria Falls Bridge (they are REALLY making use of the height of the falls this race. That was the third height-based challenge) and record their heart rate from their Fit Bit.
Mama Dean decides to do it, but the jump doesn’t open until 7am, so both Morning Commute (leaving at 5:50am with Shirin doing the jump) and BroCode (at 6am with a terrified Limpy doing the jump) manage to catch up, as does everyone else.
Everyone makes the jumps without incident, record their heart rates, and are on the way to the airport where they’ll be heading to Paris, giving the French fourteen more reasons to hate Americans.
The MC’s get off the plane first, and haul butt to be the only team on the first train. The rest of the teams get on the second.
Meanwhile, the MC’s show up at the next Road Block: Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite
In this task, the person who didn’t do the bungee jumping must fly in a bi-plane, looking for the words that describe the French Revolution of 1789 on big giant banners on the ground.
Marcel is up in the plane all excited. The plane does a loop, and he sees the three phrases pretty easily. He lands, tells the lady the words, checks his product placement device, and they’re off to Square Louis Michel where they need to search for Le Fantome Blanc (which turns out to be a creepy-looking guy dressed in white — The White Phantom, no doubt) where they’ll get their next clue.
The rest of the teams are at the road block. As Ms Name Dropper is running off to join the line, Big Spender starts to tell her something, and she yells at him to shut up. Dammit, lady, I was just starting to like you.
Only 3 teams at a time are allowed to do the road block, with Bitchy BroCode, tall PomPom, and Ms Name Dropper all in the planes. Bitchy and the PomPom both get all of their clues. Ms Name Dropper does not — missing the last one. So BroCode and PomPoms both head off, while Name Dropper heads to the back of the line.