Hey there ya buncha trash bags! Welcome back to another week of Couples Therapy! If you missed last week, gentleman Joe basically tried to convince everyone that he didn’t beat anyone by talking slowly and calmly yet with a hint of condescension. He might have fooled some of the people in the house, but he can’t fool me. That guy has some skeletons in his closet and apparently no other clothes because he stayed in the same fucking outfit for like three days.
This week we start with Carmen and Adrian having breakfast and Adrian is beaming while he talks about how great it was that Dr. Jenn chewed out Carmen about how much she sucks at communication and listening. Carmen does her best to sound enthused and attentive but she’s probably just thinking of ways to prove them both wrong.
The topic this week in the group session is power and who has more of it in each relationship. We already know who wears the pants in each couple but Dr. Jenn insists on having everyone share who holds the power. Big Ang and Neil go first and reveal the obvious that Big Ang has more power in their relationship. Big Ang admits that she has never acted like this in a past relationship and Neil admits that he isn’t lazy; he’s just not motivated to do much because Big Ang acts like such a bitch most of the time. Despite her faults, though, Neil does add that he is noticing a change for the better in her. Gentleman Joe and Kaylin go next and you guys will never guess who has the power in this relationship. It’s our favorite gentleman rapper! Kaylin expresses that she feels like a child in their relationship and Dr. Jenn is like “yeah, well, you kind of did that to yourself by never speaking up”. Joe acts like he had no idea that this dynamic existed, which is hard to believe since anyone viewing this show can tell that he knowingly takes advantage of his control over Kaylin. Also, we find out that Joe is 33 and Kaylin is only 23! This detail certainly explains a lot about their unhealthy relationship. Scott and Jaclyn get their turn and Jaclyn explains that she had to hold the power because Scott was having too many problems with drugs and alcohol. Jaclyn talks about ways she tries to balance out the power exchange by giving him responsibilities but Dr. Jenn tells Jaclyn that she is “doling out power.” This makes Janice shamelessly cackle in their faces and I am happy to see her bitch flame is reignited. Welcome back, crazy bitch Janice. We missed you when you took your little bitch break last week. Jaclyn needs to give up the control or else her relationship with Scott won’t improve but she is afraid to because of the many times he has let her down. So now they are stuck in this exhausting cycle, aye yai yai! We go to commercial and Carmen/Adrian and Janice/Rocky don’t get turns, but even poor simple-minded Neil could tell you that it’s definitely not Adrian or Rocky.
Dr. Jenn brings in help through the form of Chef Frankie, who will be leading everyone in a power reversal exercise. The members of each relationship who don’t have the power will be in charge of bossing their partner around as they make dinner. The control freaks seem apprehensive of this idea but their peasant partners are all really excited about this experiment. Carmen isn’t taking the exercise very seriously. Instead, she tries to distract Adrian by shaking her tits at him and offering him a blowjob. Jaclyn is reluctant to take orders, and so she takes a seat EVEN WHEN SCOTT SAYS “NO”. How are they expected to work this out when she’s acting all rebellious and sitting down? Rocky has some weird blue bandana on his head and Janice treats us to one of her incredibly clever jokes, saying that she likes being DICK-tated! Get it? Like a penis! Sounds like someone’s been watching a little too much Summer Heights High.
I would like to think that Janice and Jonah would be good friends if given the chance
Kaylin is thrilled to have some power for once and she is going to get her money’s worth, or as she likes to call it, “take full fucking advantage” of the situation. Kaylin can’t hide her smile as she gleefully yells at Joe and treats him like the piece of shit that he is. Carmen is starting to get turned on by Adrian bossing her around. Janice is no where to be found in the kitchen and Chef Frankie orders Rocky to go get her and make her come back to help. Rocky reluctantly goes to retrieve her but Janice doesn’t seem to give a shit about the experiment because she needs to put on a different top. She eventually relents and drags herself back into the kitchen, but not before calling Chef Frankie “Chef Butt Fuck.” Clever. Where does she come up with this gold? Meanwhile, Carmen is still trying to seduce Adrian with her cleavage but is unsuccessful. Neil takes a break to smoke his vaporizer while Big Ang wipes down the table. Shockingly, gentleman Joe is not enjoying this power reversal and explains to us that when someone is given new power, they tend to abuse it. Sounds like he might be talking from personal experience. Jaclyn is still not fully on board with the cooking exercise and finds it silly being forced to call Scott “Chef Scott”.