Hello Trashy People and welcome to another Top Chef Recap. This week’s episode is packed with scenes of chefs panicking, chefs running out of time, and chefs losing things (like every episode).
As usual, we open this week with everyone sitting in the hotel room, post-elimination. Karen talks a bit about Giselle, but obviously no one is really thinking about that. Remember Jason’s smackdown of Manbun? Yeah, that’s a little more on everyone’s mind. Manbun keeps trying to defend his attempt to make mashed potatoes. He says he meant to make them like that. You know, gummy and disgusting. You guys just don’t get me! I’m an artiste! Gummy mashed potatoes is exactly what I was going for, does that make me wrong?
“Yes!” jumps in Kwame, “It makes you wrong because you’re not cooking at your own restaurant, and you’re going to end up being your own worst enemy.” Hallelujah! This is what every narcissistic asshole on Top Chef doesn’t seem to get. You’re on Top Chef to cook with other chefs, learn new skills, get exposed to new foods, and ideas etc. You’re not on Top Chef to make the shitty food you usually make at your shitty restaurant. There is a reason there are no cameras at your restaurant, you’re not that interesting!
Manbun. by the way, keeps doing this, he keeps making dishes directly from his restaurant. As if he is saying, I already know everything ,and there is no reason for me to try making a new dish. And if you look back through the challenges, the dishes he makes from his restaurant never do well. CAULIFLOWER CAULIFLOWER CAULIFLOWER comes to mind from the disaster vegan pop-up restaurant challenge.
Manbun however has managed to shove both head and bun so far up his ass that even when Kwame says this to him directly, he can’t grasp the message. He tells us that he is sad and no one gets him, but he is so amazingly talented and young so he will be ok. He also tells us he needs to win Top Chef because starting a restaurant in LA with no money is hard. No shit? I think he believes that we will feel sorry for him, but I feel like if you’re not willing to play the game, you’re not going to win.
Anyway, then Jason and Manbun are about to squabble a bit more, but Kwame puts an end to it and the chefs go to bed. The next day they are seaside in San Diego, and their quick fire challenge is making fish tacos because they embody baja flavors or something. The quickfire challenge is also sudden death, so it adds a layer of pressure that really gets to Wesley. First he loses his mind over the fact that Jeremy took two lobsters (which is pretty unfair, you don’t need two lobsters to make a fish taco Padma is going to take one bite of). Then he becomes certain someone stole the lobster he managed to procure, and he runs back and forth across the pier shouting about it. That is, until he discovers that he just misplaced it. You see, he left it at Marjorie’s station instead of his own. Man, was this a messy moment. Like a we-may-have-to-bring-Messley-back, messy moment
Gather round and let me tell you the story of how a messy piggy lost his lobster.
The rest of the scenes consist of chefs rushing and chefs talking about their tacos. Issac starts auditioning for his Food Network show with one of his stories again. Chad talks about making things spicy, but manages to be insanely boring –– anyway, you get the idea. Who really cares what the rest of these idiots said. I promise, you won’t learn anything. The important thing is that the countdown begins, 10-9-8…and everyone is plating, we see Angelina buffing her plates. 3-2-1! Then right after 1 is shouted, Angelina realizes that she completely forgot to put her tacos on the fucking plate! She plated them on the cutting board. Are you kidding me Angelina, how have you gotten this far? Please just go home. At this point, I am hoping they just eliminate Angelina on the spot and call it a wrap on the taco challenge. (Get it? Get it…wrap, taco!)
P thinks Angelina is an idiot. She’s not wrong.
But of course Top Chef has to draw out the drama, so the fish taco challenge continues. Here are the tacos the chefs made:
Kwame: Wahoo Taco with Truffle Cream & Chipotle Salsa
Manbun: Yellowfin Tuna Taco with Seared Foie Gras, Caviar, Truffle & Chiles
Jason: Yellowfin Tuna & Black Summer Truffle Taco with Jalapeno, Dill & Ginger
Karen: Oyster Taco with Kimchi Sesame Salsa Pickled Red Cabbage & Avocado
Isaac: Cornmeal Fried Soft Shell Crab Taco with Cane Sugar Vinaigrette & Marinated