Gawker – Ken Kratz: Garbage Person, Professional Asshole, Aspiring Author
Last year, litigious blob fish Ken Kratz wrote a letter to Making a Murderer convict Steven Avery, explaining that he’d be willing to write a book about Avery’s case if he’d only offer a confession. I guess this is a project he’d have time for when he wasn’t authoring sexual harassment texts to victims of domestic abuse, but anyway. Luckily for Kratz, both he and Avery were made famous anyway thanks to their Netflix documentary, which is a pretty shining review of Kratz’ practice, if you ask me.
TMZ – RIP Monty Brinson
Monty Brinson, the one positive beacon in Kim Richards’ dark, troubled life, has passed away. Monty, Kim’s husband of three years (1985-88), was 58 and suffered from lung cancer. Hopefully this won’t get in the way of Kim’s rehab and hopefully it won’t present an opportunity for Kyle to make this all about herfuckingself.
People – Could He BE Anymore Out of It? (sorry)
Matthew Perry recently confessed in an interview with BBC radio that he can’t remember at least three years of filming Friends due to his alcohol and Vicodin addiction. So technically he was on a break, which is why he fucked the girl at the copy center.
Perez – Charlie Sheen’s Kids Are Terrified of Him Because Duh
Charlie Sheen, a 50-year-old bowling ball filled with cocaine, is sending Denise Richards explicit texts and calling her things like “pig whore” because I guess he’s been watching a lot of Housewives lately. But anyway, the kids are seeing all of this and rightfully don’t want to spend any time alone with him. In related news, the amount of therapy they’re going to need just might kick start the economy, so now’s a great time to sell your house!
Huffington Post – Nick Cannon is Mature
And responded maturely to Goddess Mariah’s engagement. Snooze. Slow news day, kids.
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