I am already SOOOOO excited for this season. It’s episode ONE and alliances are already forming. No one is safe from Robby Turner! Since this is episode 100, I plan on writing 100 pages worth of recap!!! Just kidding, but I probably could. Let’s start off with intros!!
Naomi (You’re killin me) Smalls
The first to walk in was Naomi Smalls! Gorgeous, but I would like to see some boobs on her. She made me cackle when she said Naomi has legs up to her asshole. Points for you!
Naysha(?) Lopez
I’m bored. I don’t like that I can see your undies, and neither will Michelle Visage. You are super pretty tho!
We got trouble: ACID BETTY
ACID BETTY! I can already tell you are DRAMA.I can’t tell yet if you’re the funny mean girl we all root for, or if you are the villain. Time will tell.
This is Cynthia reacting to something Acid Betty said.
This is Cynthia and I already love her. She looks like a cool/crazy teacher from a Disney Channel show. She definitely gave me BenDeLa vibes right away, but I’m ready to see her blossom.
THE SHADE OF IT ALL, ROBBY TURNER
This bitch walked in and I fell in LOOOVE with her look. I always go for the old fashion glam. Throughout the episode she is the one throwin shade EVERY DAMN MINUTE. I love it. We got right into it this season. Something rude was said 6 minutes and 45 seconds into the episode. Yes, I checked the exact second. It did not take long.
Anime Queen, Kim Chi
Kim Chi walks in and one of the girls was star struck because she’s an instagram fav. This isn’t my personal favorite brand of drag, but it’s clearly well done.
But what the fuck kind of donut is GREEN??? Am I the only one who has never seen a donut with green icing?? What kind of flavor could that even be? Don’t you DARE LET MICHELLE VISAGE SEE THAT DONUT!!!
Sgt. Pepper Thorgy Hearts Club Drag
In walks Thorgy Thor! I immediately love Thorgy and she walks in and has shit with Acid Betty!!!! If they are enemies I don’t even know who I am going to root for!! I can’t wait to find out!
Personal fav: BOB THE DRAG QUEEN!
Is it too early to predict who will win the season? Never! I’m obsessed with Bob the Drag Queen already. Everything about her. And she KNOWS it. She knows I love her. She walked into the room, pretended to pick something out of her teeth, jumped on a table pretending to swim? I’m just blown away.
Does ANYBODY know what is happening? Dax definitely doesn’t.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention Dax. I didn’t take a pic and I don’t want to go back and do it because ain’t nothin special yet.
Chi Chi DeVanye, more interesting out of drag.
Listen I love a hot-glue drag queen, but I wasn’t really into the garbAge look. But boy ChiChi is a southern doll and I want to hear her talk forever.
This picture is a true piece of art feat. Derek Barry
100th queen of the show, basically the human form of the 100 emoji, Britney Spears walks into the room and dances around for us all and it is SO CUTE. Chapstick and mascara!
Time for a nonsense video of Ru followed by Ru coming in the workroom wearing a nonsense outfit! Ah, this show is amazing.
The frist mini challenge is a photoshoot, as always. But this time we get to have a photoshoot with all the past winners. Well, except for Bianca Del Rio. She couldn’t make it. So naturally, they asked me to come sit in.
It was a non-paying gig, but I’d do anything to be in the same room as Chad Michaels.
To do well in a challenge like this, you just have to be bold, ballsy and confident. I didn’t like it when they started trying to throw shade at the previous winners. Show some damn respect.
The comfort of a Sharon Needles talking head is something we all need.
In my eyes, the winner of this photoshoot challenge thing was definitely Derek Barry. She took CONTROL of that whole set, was the only one who used the chair sitting on the side, and she wasn’t rude to anyone. Good work.
Scheana Shay WISHES.
Now we get to my favorite part of this show- workroom taking off/putting on your drag! They look SO weird and have the funniest conversations. That’s what makes Drag Race one of the funniest shows on television for me.
GIRL.
There is always the one running around in him underwear and a full face of makeup, giggling. This year, it’s Naomi. Thank god.
Also I didn’t even read these because I was too distracted at how saggy they are. But now I see that she actually has underwear with her own name written on them. That’s a pretty baller move.
Beautiful.
Morgan McMichaels shows up to shoot a ping pong ball out of herself and that somehow names Robby Turner as a winner. I’m not sure how, but it happened. The challenge is basically to channel old “classic” looks from previous seasons and Robby gets to assign looks to the queens. She does a good job, except for forgetting to give herself a theme and ending up with the last one, the season 4 dog theme. Which isn’t even that terrible. At least you don’t have to carry around that boat and somehow relate it to your struggles of being a gay man and telling us what pride means to you. That was the worst.
Everyone is in the workroom getting frustrated with their theme, naturally. But Chi Chi decides to ease the tension by revealing her favorite snack: dog treats!
“I’m from the South, we eat eeeyyyverythang! Dog treats, pinto beans, fish flakes, cat poop, grits..”
Ru does his super judgmental walk thru and who does he bond with? My girl, Bob the Drag Queen, of course.
“Who is my competition? No oneeeee thx!”
Ru also talks to Acid Betty, who starts being rude about the difference between Brooklyn and Manhattan Drag. Waste no time! Ru’s talk with Laila is one of the bad ones where Laila is just like “uhhh, uh um well yeah what’s the word” which is NEVER good. These patterns repeat, every damn episode.
Naysha Lopez is making an ugly dress while telling Chi Chi all about how much she’s a pageant girl and Chi Chi is being friendly but clearly not into it. She just keeps re-straightening those 10 pieces of straw on her head with her ten dollar straightener.
“How the HELL you gonna be on RuPaul if you don’t sew?!”
The best part of this interaction was Thorgy hiding behind a stool and reacting. Ahhh I think I’m going to be on her side if it’s her against Acid Betty.
As I mentioned before, favorite part of the show is watching them have conversations while getting ready. Already, in episode one, I was screaming laughing. This sounds insensitive, because Kim Chi was having a sad, serious talk about how her mom doesn’t know she does drag, and she was crying. But this is what she looked like.
Bob the Drag Queen does “Naomi Shambles” dance/walk. Remains favorite.
Runway time! I’m not going to go into full detail on every outfit, just the best/interesting ones.
Is it just me or does Acid Betty look like most characters from American Horror Story Freakshow??
A whole new kind of Clown-Realness.
Acid Betty had a good money outfit, Bob the Drag Queen did the best anyone could have done with a bad theme.
I’ll post a pic of Dax and her weird fake butt now since I didn’t earlier.
I do like that her name is Dax ExclamationPoint. Or would I type it Dax! I wonder why nobody else is using something so clever…
Naysha had a pretty pretty face but totally missed the mark on her challenge. Nothing about Greek Goddess says “thrift store”? I work in a thrift store. And that dress wouldn’t sell. Cynthia looks super cute in her candy outfit and did it better than Katy Perry.
Poor Naomi Smalls having to deal with that stupid boat. Still want her to have boobs. I’m going to make a Smalls-boob joke pretty soon if you don’t take care of it. I don’t wanna do it, but I will. Laila also totally missed the mark, while Robby and Thorgy were meh. My favorite runway moment was Derek trimming her holiday bush.
When the judges send away the safe girls, the reading begins. Naysha tries to defend her outfit by telling them “I don’t really sew” and this is the face Ross made.
The face we ALL made.
Kim Chi deservedly won the challenge because she used wigs as shoulder pads.
JUST EXACTLY AS I SUSPECTED: Laila and Naysha have to lip sync for their lives. Going into it, I have no preference who stays or goes. I’d be fine getting rid of them all. The show always gets better when we get rid of some queens. Which might sound mean, but this is a television show for my enjoyment. If you’ve watched enough RuPaul, you always have that moment when the last Queen that doesn’t REALLY matter gets kicked off and it all feels real and scary.
Laila actually turned it out and made me like her. While Naysha didn’t know the words and appeared to be doing the Daddy Shark dance we all hated doing in my music theatre days. You can see an example here .
You should know simply from this still who is going home.
Alright trashes, that’s all the drAMA- for this week! And there was already so much considering it was the first episode! I am SOOOOO excited to be recapping for this show and what looks like an amazing season. Thank you for reading, I don’t get paid to do this so if you want to let me know what you think- that is WELCOMED!! I’m open to any form of compensation.
See you guys next week! And I’ll actually be recapping The Mother/Daughter Experiment as well, so I’ll see you tonight. xoxoxoxoxox
