Hey Trashies! It’s time for part 3 of the Vanderpump Rules Reunion Trilogy, let’s beat this dead horse one last time!
But first, a shout out to our lovely @ItsTurtleTime… you know what they say about slow and steady, gurl — yee aw! <3
We start with Stassi’s sex tape. Stassi is upset Lisa paid the guy without any paperwork that would protect her legally from all the pervs that aren’t clamoring to see it. Lisa keeps saying, “Why didn’t you give me a paper for the guy to sign?” and Stassi keeps saying, “Because you did this behind my back!” Stassi should thank Lisa for paying top dollar, IMO, and leave it at that.
On to James sharing Lala’s sexcapades with Maxie and Lisa at the dentist. Lala gets very upset and starts to cry, because she lost a deep and meaningful f**k-buddy relationship over this. Ariana assures her rim jobs are normal (lol!), but Lisa begs to differ — she doesn’t lick Ken’s ass. She leaves that up to Giggy.
Andy asks Katie why her Pucker & Pout blog launch party was such a tough ticket. Katie says she didn’t want a scene (hence the hand-delivered uninvitations), but she got one anyway. Then, it’s on to Stassi’s text to Schwa. They all praise him for smacking her down, and Katie calls it poetic. Jax says it’s the first time he ever saw Schwa do stand up for Katie.
On to Scheana and Stassi, who made up at Lala’s housewarming party, but after Stassi got Katie back, she disappeared for 3 months — Scheana felt used! But then last month, the girls went to Utah for Katie’s 30th birthday party
and got really, really wasted.
There they wore onesies, and Scheana and Stassi had this great conversation, during which Stassi learned that everybody has different needs in a friendship, and Scheana happens to need a response to her texts at least once every three months. Scheana says she’s talked to Stassi every day since.
And now it’s time for Stassi to take another break.
On to James getting “fired” at Pump. James says he got wasted on Pump and Glorys, then Kristen came in and started provoking him. Lisa wants to know why Kristen showed up at Pump. Sandoval says, “C’mon, Kristen, you knew what you were doing. We all know James is delicate, he’s got a tiny little fuse.”
”Tinier than MINE, even”
Kristen tells James to go f*ck himself with his tiny fuse. She says being in the same room with him is making her skin crawl. Ariana says, “Welcome to OUR world,” which makes my skin crawl.
Kristen wants someone to speak up on her behalf so she doesn’t have to keep doing this. “I don’t KNOW your behalf,” says Ariana — WTF.Does.That.Even.Mean?
Back to James getting fired. So Richardson came up to diffuse the situation, and James spewed reprehensible racist, classist invective. Sandoval laughs about what James said — he thinks it’s the funniest thing! Okay, well THAT explains how he can take Ariana so seriously.
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