Hi Trashies!
The sharper amongst you will have noticed today is not Thursday. Kimmy Schmidt Unbreakable season 2. That’s the downside of addictive bingewatching, you lose two days and then have to wait a whole year for the show to come back. My brain is also awash with neon pinks and purples as I ‘Kimmy-fied’ my netflix. Probably the right frame of mind for DMoms.
Today, the question over Maddie’s membership of ALDC finally gets resolved. What is the fallout? Less than you might think, at least for now.
Jill kicks off the morning by immediately asking Melissa to declare her position again. Melissa refuses to answer, again. Usually its Ashlee, so maybe Jill has just taken over to give her a rest.
Jill still not getting the concept of ‘I’m not telling you’?
Nope, in a shocking move, Melissa finally owns up she isn’t coming back anymore. After four weeks. This implies both Maddy and Mackenzie are out.
Jill is annoyed that Melissa lied to her over it. Breathe in that entitlement. Melissa giggles as she clarifies that Mackenzie is leaving too, as she doesn’t count anyway. Or ‘she needs me’ or something. So basically Melissa has been milking it as long as possible to make sure the message ‘Maddie is free for work’ gets out. It is a mothers duty to milk her most talented daughter and let the weaker one fend for herself after all.
The Moms try to pretend they didn’t know, Ashlee stops herself from doing a victory dance.
Melissa goes in alone to tell Abbey the news. Abbey gets teary.
The cash! The cash is leaving me!
Abbey mutters that Maddie better not be doing any dancing anywhere else, gets sad and that’s that. Melissa sort of says ‘yeah…’ but it’s not very convincing. I suspect she’ll adhere strictly to her contract, but anything else is fair game.
Melissa comes back out and claims Abbey is sad but happy to the other Dmoms, but refuses to tell Mackenzie before announcing the decision to the other girls.Because she can’t face it. Its too hard, and everyone must appreciate how hard this is for her.
Holly does her usual bit of trying to suggest the sane thing to do, mentioning that Melissa really needs to tell Mackenzie before the other girls. This is really ‘Just at least do the bare fucking minimum parenting for God’s, and Mackenzie’s, sake woman’. It speaks volumes that Melissa has made sure Maddy knows, but not bothered with Mackenzie. Melissa just can’t cope with this. It’s clearly far too much effort for her. It’s sooooo hard for her.
I can’t parent the cashcow and the spare all at once, so screw the spare
Ashlee is on cloud 9. Abbey, who doesn’t leave Planet Pragmatism for long, has immediately decided Brynn is now the new Maddy.
On to the Pyramid. Kalani is the bottom again due to not being there last week. Pesky dead relatives spoiling her chances again. Kendall gets the next spot for being a special snowflake all last week which is entirely fair. Then JoJo for failing in her solo. Nia gets her usual ‘didn’t do anything good or bad’ placing, then Mackenzie and Maddy, finally the new starlet Brynn is top. I guess soon the pyramid will become more of an oblong or a tower, as there won’t be enough faces to make a pyramid. Though of course there will be fresh blood.
This week’s competition theme will be the Huntsman: Winters War, which is apparently a Snow White meets the Snow Queen type thing. Its not teen girl seduces angsty vampire or school kids learning magic so that’s a point in its favor. Maddy and Mackenzie get to be the warring sisters. All seems sensible enough.
Still unaware of the juggernaut of crap bearing down on her
Nia and Mackenzie are doing ‘the Long goodbye’, Maddy and Kendall are also doing a duet. Maddy is doing a second duet too with Kalani. What Abbey is up to is not clear, but she claims its to make the most of her whilst she’s about. Most likely its the fact she’s desperate for some wins to shore up her leaky boat.
Immediately the fact Melissa can’t be arsed to inform both her kids before anyone else blows up in her face, as the subject of them leaving crops up. I think from Ashlee. Like you couldn’t see that coming as someone mentions it every damn week. Usually Ashlee, but she knew someone would. The kids hear enough to know something is going on.
Holly steps in again to do damage control and ushers the kids out before it gets too far. Is she the only one who actually considers the kids might be better off not experiencing the usual emo-train wreck arguments? She must be sick of being the token adult on this show, and have urges to set fire to Abbeys hair or something to balance it out. Abbey gets off a ‘it should have been handled differently by your attorney’ before they leave. So nothing for the kids to worry about.