E! Online – Emilia Clarke Wants to #FreeTheP on Game of Thrones
I hear you, Khaleesi. This is a 2016 issue that I can get hard for. However, lets be honest we want to free good peen, not Long Dong Hodor. There’s equality, and then there’s “please zip your fly.”
TMZ – Princes William and Harry Visit Star Wars Set, Hug It Out With ChewbaccaI guess we now know that Harry is a “bear” man. Bring your ginger realness to West Hollywood, Harry, there are a whole lot of flannel sporting Chewbacca’s that would love to cross light sabers with you.
Dlisted – Mariah Carey Brings Soft-Core Realness to the Pizza Oven
You know what makes a greasy slice of reheated pepperoni sexy? If you said extra napkins to blot the grease, you would be wrong. No it’s raiding the wardrobe rack from The Young & the Restless and putting on your best sateen teddy. Way to keep it romantic, Mariah. Afterwards she’ll turn up the heat for her sugar daddy by hot-boxing him with some apres pizza love. That’s amore!
Celebitchy – Robson Green “Does Not Have a Great Track Record” Says Cuckolded Vicar
Unless you are a fan of British mystery shows, you may be wondering who Robson Green is, and why he warrants a mention in our gossip round-up. Well, how many gossip stories involve the word cuckold and running away with the vicar’s wife? This is as British as crumpets, Tom Hiddleston’s ass, and movie villains. We as Americans need to do better, and encourage our celebrities to run off with the preacher’s husband, or the head of the book club’s husbands golf buddy’s mistress, so we can have our own PBS worthy WTF?! gossip, too.
Pajiba – Here Is a Bunch Of Celebrities Dressed Like Assholes At Coachella
Ah, Coachella. That magical time of year where celebrities and wannabe’s raid the sale rack at Free People, bust out the Daisy Duke’s and appropriate Native American feather headgear (because it’s ok to play Pocahontas if you’re hot and wear sheer kimonos).