Hello Trash Talkers! Here we are at our final recap. Did Clippers Spirit kill it or die a painful reality TV death? Let’s recap the finale first, then trash the season.
If you missed last week’s ep and care enough about it to catch up, just click here , read and return. Okay Trash Talkers, let’s bury this bitch!
The final (yes!) episode kicks off at the E! apartment with the roomies. I know those three will miss it. A goldfish couldn’t survive on their crap Clippers Spirit pay.
Blair’s band is performing Saturday night at the Conga Room. Hannah jokes about bringing a poster. Savanna wants to know who is invited. Of course Blair has invited her parents. The girls pressure her to invite Chace, but she’s against it. Thank you. They’ve been on what, one date? Give the man a chance to spend his allowance on you.
Shortly after, we head to Staples Center, where the dancers are rehearsing for their final performance. Latrice is all over Natalie, as expected. A refresher on Natalie’s situation: this is the only game she has performed at since preseason. I am not impressed with her or the routine. Natalie is behind and looks completely lost. Petra and Latrice are PISSED. Latrice informs the team that the rehearsal was sloppy. She tells them they made her look bad in front of her boss. I agree. Did anyone catch Blair mocking Latrice while she was talking? So professional.
I can’t believe they are pulling this crap before the game. Latrice continues to lecture the team out in the hallway, while Petra is gone. She informs them that they look like flopping, dying fish. The dancers look nervous. I have no sympathy for Petra or Latrice regarding their Natalie situation. They kept this whiney, clunky dancer all season. Let them suffer.
Here we go again.
Stop it with the Southern hospitality, Hannah.
No scene is complete without Natalie and her excuses. Naturally, she runs to Hannah, because she’s the only one who will enable her. Her “sisters” prefer to whisper about her instead. Let’s see what BS she has to offer today, shall we? Hmm. The changes they made in her part of the routine were last minute. She isn’t used to the dance style. She continues to grate on my nerves until I’m suicidal. I’ll put my plans on hold, until this is over.
Latrice and Petra take Natalie aside in the locker room. They rip into her performance at the rehearsal. They are pulling her out of one of the routines, because they want her to focus on the other two. This is pathetic.
Hannah gets a break from Natalie’s pity party when her parents show up. She complains that she’s not having fun. Boo freaking hoo. Someone forgot to inform her that most of the time, life sucks. Get over it.
I would hate to have this selfish bitch for a teammate. Hannah is a rookie. The vet is the one who should be giving her the pep talk. Natalie’s spent every episode bragging about how superior she is because of her vet status alone. What a lame azz bitch.
A parting gift for Natalie’s efforts.
Natalie makes it through the performance without crying. She boasts that she proved it to herself that she belonged on that court. The next day, Hannah congratulates Natalie for her performance. She wants to know what Petra had to say about it. Not too much, actually. Natalie thinks she was proud of her for pushing through. However, she doesn’t think Petra’s going to think she’s the greatest dancer overnight. Meaning there’s not a chance in hell she’ll make the team again. Natalie tries to convince us that she’s chosen to retire. How insulting. The viewers are aware that the only reason you stayed on the squad is because someone out there thought you would make the show interesting. Wrong!
Blair’s at a coffee shop in the next scene, where she’s on the phone, apologizing to her mother. Wonderful. She’s ruined any chances of an enjoyable episode. We DON’T freaking care about your mother. This is about the SQUAD, not your mama, who bores me to tears. Yes, there was a grain of hope for her when she popped the Xanax with her wine. Trashy, yes, but so are most of the people on this show. Kisha assures Blair that she is proud of her and will be at her show. I’m disgusted with myself for bothering with that woman in the first place.
Hannah’s good ole boy is back. This time he’s brought Hannah’s other friend named Savanna. He’s there to help Hannah decide whether she should stay in L.A. or return to the swamp. Her relationship with Keagan is in limbo. They go for a walk to discuss their future. This episode is so, SO, BORING! I don’t care about their relationship, unless it involves some freaky element. It’s just too bland for reality TV.
Meanwhile, The Roxx rehearses one last time. I will not miss them or their manager. I’ll give them something classy if they’ll disappear forever: