EW – GoT Spoiler Alert
He held the door! He held the door.
People – Justin Bieber Thinks Award Shows are Just Like Justin Bieber
Tattooed twink Adonis of song was at the Whatever Awards last night and took to Instagram to explain why he thinks award shows are “hollow.” I can’t help but agree with him, but still, damn Justin. That’s your home. Are you too good for your home?
(a: no)
Perez Hilton – We Promise We Don’t Miss Being on Television! Hahahaha
Aren’t you guys like so jealous? Look at Brayndi Glanville and Kim Richards clutching each other for dear life lest one of them collapses into a puddle of vodka and perfumed mucous. Brayndi says the Kim’s sober, which is information we can all text since the two of them “text on the regular.” OMG texting? You actually take the time to text, B? Man, what a saint. I’m so glad Kim has someone in her life who’s willing to text.
E! – Oh God Here We Go Again
Again with the fuckin live action recycles of beloved Disney animated films. If you haven’t been on Facebook and seen what your DISNEY-PHILE FRIEND FROM YOUR SORORITY jizzed over this morning, here’s the trailer for Beauty and the Beast. Here’s what’s throwing us all into a stroke. Some shots of a castle and some weird voices and Emma Watson’s eyes. If you’re craving more I guess you’ll just have to wait 10 short, short months until the movie’s due out in theaters, sucker.
Fish Wrapper – This is What Dreams and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome are Made Of
Farrah Abraham has shocked us all by making it to quarter-centuryhood. You did it, Farrah! With no help from your BITCHY MOM DEBRA, OK, AND THE DAD YOU INSIST ON CALLING MICHAEL, OH MY GODDDDD JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. (that’s how I’m contractually supposed to address her parents) And guess who came to Farrah’s 25th birthday bash. Fuckin’ JENELLE. Jenelle fuckin Evans. Without her boiiiiiifreeeennnnnnnnn. I guess so she and Farrah could get high, high. They’re both high.
Anyway, happy birthday Farrah, you don’t look a day over 46.
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