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Celebitchy – Megan Fox Believes Her Fetus Sent Her a Message to Switch Houses in L.A.
Does her fetus also offer stock tips? Career advice? Megan should consider turning this gimmick into a career on HGTV. House Hunters: Unborn Baby Edition – he’s still living in mommy’s womb, but he’s got a sixth sense for real estate and a partially formed eye for design.
WWTDD – Alicia Keys Make-Up No More
Alicia Keys is a hero who is saying down with oppression of Sephora. That’s right ladies, let your blackheads shine brightly. It’s fine because a mega-rich singer says so. Alicia will never again wear makeup except for whenever she is shot for a magazine cover or goes on camera, but when we don’t see her, that famous face will be living authentically. Blush kills dreams.
TMZ – Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris – It’s Over!
I’m going to need to run out for more Kleenex, as I’ve been crying glitter tears all day since the news that Princess Sparkle broke up with Prince Calvin. It’s like I don’t believe in love anymore. Crying Face Emoji. Time for the Instagram Girl Power Posse to assemble to show how supportive Tay Tay’s squad are when she needs a group shot.
DListed – Kit Harington Says He Has “Felt the Sexism” of Hollywood
OMG, you guys, Kit Harington is tired of you leering at his perfect locks and taut abs – objectification makes him cry man tears. I mean, sure ladies experience sexism every day, but lets not forget about hot guys who are the forgotten victims of sexism. Thanks for bringing #HotGuysMatter to our attention, Kit. I’ll focus all my Game of Thrones ogling on Nikolaj Coster-Waldau from now on, who I don’t think would sit in a dark room listening to Depeche Mode because someone gave his abs a once-over.
E! Online – Kim Kardashian Bares Her Butt and Boobs in “Special Project” Sneak Peak
Is it really a “special project” if we’ve seen the goods before? I mean once you’ve seen somebody peed on, or painfully imprisoned in latex its hard to get excited about a thirsty bitch’s nekkid bits. Ass don’t buy class, Kim, but it will buy you a lot of fug bandage dresses.
Dlisted – A Bunch of Texts Johnny Depp’s Assistant Sent To Amber Heard After Alleged Fight Have Been Released
So, I haven’t covered this story yet because since the abuse allegations came out there’s been something new every day, and it’s crazy. I thought the only disturbing thing these days was Johnny Depp’s affinity for scarves and film choices. I’ve knocked Amber Heard A LOT and I don’t feel badly about that because she is a TERRIBLE ACTRESS who is void of anything resembling a personality. However, what’s happened to her is truly horrible and disturbing and NO ONE deserves to be abused, harassed or frightened. Nobody. What’s deeply sad is the reaction to her abuse allegations, and this idea of a “what a victim should look like and how they should act.” Abuse can happen to anyone; it’s not a black and white situation, and while I can’t personally understand how someone can stay in an abusive relationship that doesn’t mean that Amber doesn’t deserve my empathy. This whole story is gross, and I have to wonder if Johnny’s assistant regularly has to Silkwood shower if this is the kind of thing he’s being asked to do for a paycheck.
