Hi Trashies!
What wonders does Abbey have in store this week? Doesn’t matter really, whatever she does the Dmoms will interpret it as a secret agenda against their respective child. I’m not saying Abbey doesn’t have an agenda though. This ep is a ‘Nia and Kendall Face off’. Presumably Sooty and Sweep were busy. That might be one of my ‘Too English’ jokes.
There is some bitching that Nia is doing well and Abbey is latching onto it. Jesse then lists all the things she’s given up, ‘not for Abbey to take advantage off’. Like her sick mom. I can imagine that conversation ‘Hi Mom, no I’m no coming to visit in the hospital, I’m in LA – suffering. Its so hard here, but I’m doing it for Jo Jo and the cash she can bring me.’
I mean, who doesn’t monetize their family?
She also has the sheer nerve to say the drama isn’t good for anybody, despite her and Jill causing a huge chunk of it. Meantime Kalani is saying that the team needs to stick together despite the Moms, and then Jess does a ‘fresh start’ shtick about getting along. For five minutes. If I thought she meant it, I’d be impressed she’s finally developed the ethics of an adult.
The pyramid. Abbey is pleased with the group dance, not pleased with the duets last week. Or the boys apparently. Brynn scores at the bottom, almost inevitably, then JoJo, Nia, Kendall and Kalani on top for commanding the group routine.
This week we’re off to Fresno, CA – again – for the Fierce national comp. One two three, RAWR! Thats me being fierce. There are 3 routines, as ever. First Trio is Kendall leading Kalani and Jo-Jo. A jazz trio called Abbey’s Angels. Brrr, Jazz. The music only musicians like. People associate Heavy Metal with Satan, but obviously the music of Hell is Jazz.
Wow we’re in the first of two Trios! Yay!
The second Trio is Nia, leading two guys who will also fill out the group dance. The title is ‘Love anyone you want to’ But honestly its generally considered compulsory to get permission first.
The group dance is a Madonna tribute, ‘Wax Madonna’. Something like the 7 Ages of Madonna. So presumably the last one being of an autocratic parent whose children loathe her, with a fake English accent.
The two guys turn out to be part time students at the studio who Nia knows already. The rehearsals start, and JoJo Kalani and Brynn seem to be getting into it, but the others are a bit slow. Its all very sedate and nothing happens. Really, nothing. The Dmoms start a conversation where they all agree with other. Uh oh. They decide that Abbey needs to push their kids harder or they won’t achieve anything.
Pressure!
The upshot is that instead of attacking each other, they’re back to attacking Abbey as a group.
OK I got the title of Nia’s dance wrong, its ‘Love anyone you want 2’. I apologize, I was brought up in the age before leet speak and mobile phones, so substituting numbers for words is alien to me. Anyway, she’s dancing about a woman who wants both of the guys. I had to explain the GucciGuilty ad to my Mum yesterday, I don’t need this.
Nia and her mom both start in that Abbey has never wanted much to do with them. I’d argue being given a slot on TV advertising your talent and availability to work is something, even if Abbey didn’t consider her a main player. I’m sure a lot of Nia’s opportunities are coming off the back of Dance Moms, so it’s a bit rich to start pretending Abbey was nothing to do with it. Holly goes off to tell Nia’s new Manager, Leslie, about her trio dance and to get some advice.
Whatever is about to be said will not be helpful.
Leslie wants Abbey ‘on Nia’s team’ as long as she understands the boundaries and where they are going. ie that Leslie is sucking the cash not Abbey.
So Leslie is coming in to talk to Abbey, and Kendall verges on an epiphany. She hasn’t released a song in over a year and Abbey is her manager. The realization doesn’t quite hit home though.
Sweetie – if they were good she’d have released them by now
During the rehearsal for ‘Abbeys Angels’ all is still calm and sweet, until Jess reads something on her phone that makes her run off. It turns out its hate-posts from her family for abandoning her sick mom, or similar.
My family just don’t get that the sick ones can’t be monetized
Luckily for Jesse, the other DMoms all flock around clucking sympathetically.and soon its all better. I don’t like to tell my family where I am in case they find me, but this is a bit much even for me.