Hey Trash Talkers! Last week, the women relied on the skills they established during sorority recruitment for their intros: humblebragging, gummy smiles and the dreaded fake laugh.
It was office time for these lucky candidates:
Kelsey, who Kelli attempted to snark shame. She failed. Score one for Kelsey!
Whitney, who refuses to smile most of the time.
Unsurprisingly, rookie Amy got the Kelli office treatment too. She and Kelsey were royally belittled. Whitney just bored them, along with everyone else. Fortunately for all three, there were no cuts.
It’s a new episode and this time, Kelli expects rivers of tears and pathetic begging. Trust me, I know these things. It’s cut time.
First, she is going to treat the candidates to makeovers! The women may be excited, but this is where they will discover what Kelli REALLY thinks of their looks, if she hasn’t expressed her feelings already. She will use this salon visit to see how much powder and paint can help those she considers only borderline beautiful.
We arrive at Tangerine Salon in Dallas. Remember Marshall?
He is the creative director of Tangerine. He is also the hair god of the DCC. Unlike Kelli, Marshall isn’t on a mission to destroy what little self-esteem these women have left at this point. He seems a little shocked when Kelli tells Kelsey her hair looks like a broomstick:
Rant alert! Is anyone else sick of her slamming Kelsey at this point? You are not alone. Her hair is several shades too dark, yes, but fried? No. It’s long, shiny and healthy. She needs to check out the mirror and her own hair. Only then will she be allowed to hop on her broomstick and fly away.
Marshall chooses Allie as the token redhead. Smart move, because I didn’t really notice her until now. Milan, the subject of much hair shaming throughout auditions, gets a total color makeover as well. It’s a huge improvement from what Charlotte called gray:
The salon day lasts all of five minutes. I’m not kidding. Emily goes brunette. A nameless, flat iron friendly brunette is forced to return to her natural curls. Heather O.’s mousy color is transformed into an icy blonde. This is a considerable improvement. Even with her killer body, she managed to fade away before the color change. Thanks to Marshall, I can finally remember her without having to refer to visual aids.
The next day is another rehearsal day. Kelli wants the rookies to appear to be having fun while they perform. Kelli introduces her idea of a good time….Melissa Rycroft-Strickland! My apologies, Trash Talkers.
The women immediately form kicklines. Jackie’s kicks are not only low, but BENT. Whitney’s aren’t much better. Emily’s counts are off. It’s disturbing that these women have made it this far. They seem to be getting WORSE, if that’s possible.
The rookies break into groups of three to perform the routines. Maybe it’s because they keep highlighting the terrible ones, but I’m not seeing anything spectacular. Melissa suddenly loves Madeline. Amy is so lost in the routine that Melissa covers her laughter with her hands. Such a bitch. She could at least hold back on that one. I get the bitchface in this case, but laughing while she performs? Melissa was no Brooke Sorenson. Not by a long shot.
Melissa’s nasty expressions can’t compete with Kelli’s:
Kelli thinks Jackie appears to be dancing underwater. I can’t say I disagree. The worst of the group are Amy, Bethany, Jackie and Emily. Heather O. is pastel, even with blonde hair. Kelli loves toothy Heather H. and mom hair Cersten.
Now about this Cersten, Trash Talkers. This woman doesn’t look like a DCC with this soccer mom hair. Marshall has failed us. That doesn’t stop CMT from doing a feature. Cersten brags about her long-term goals. She is only doing this to pass the time while she completes her medical school applications.
I call total BS on this lady. First of all, she’s acting like she’s the only DCC candidate, past or present, with any scholastic achievements. Nothing could be further from the truth. Secondly, she doesn’t mention being accepted into ANY medical school. She may never be a medical student….ever. I’m not buying what she’s selling. Neither should you.
Let me add that she is no Abigail Klein in the looks department either.
Back to business. Melissa slaps on her usual phony smile and waves goodbye. Lindsey and Emily are summoned to the office.
Kelli begins her “chat” with Emily by asking her how she feels she’s doing. Yep. Setting the trap. Emily answers that she feels better than she did her first year. BUZZ! Wrong answer. That was what, four years ago? Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this her third try? Not a good move. She didn’t need to remind them how long she’s had to get it right.