Last week we bid an overdue adieu to Trevor, and suffered through 12 courses with an offensive group of charter guests – one of whom is toting some highly questionable “dietary restrictions.” Thankfully, they’re all still on board!
It’s the morning after the 12 courses, time for more fresh orange juice and hairy guests stirring. The hubbub remains focused on Sierra and her emotion-fueled episode spurred by the hands of a sacrificed tuna dish.
The deckhands have a brief chat about her as Nico fills them in on how she “broke down” the night before. Kate and Ben are also discussing her, as Kate coaches him on how to properly apologize and make amends.
Sierra herself calls her mom to discuss the intense chef “freaking out.” Mom offers a good pep talk, with a regimented edge.
Aye aye!
Blissfully unaware are the guests, who sit down to breakfast and give Emily some sheets of uncut $2 bills, inexplicably.
We actually use this for toilet paper, but you can have it.
Cleaning abounds, as usual, and Ben finally approaches Sierra in the laundry.
Not heeding Kate’s advice, his apology basically boils down to, “you good? Okay, cool.”
I better get going, I smell smoke.
Seemingly fine with this drive-by amends, Sierra’s smile is firmly re-plastered on her face.
Kelley is working on some more low key flirting by singing a little song about fruit to Emily, who is snacking on some.
Because every girl likes her papaya with a side of hip thrusting.
Looking forward to their first night out sans Trevor, the remaining deckie duo is enjoying a hang. We learn that Lauren has her sights set on Nico (duh) and believes the crushing is mutual (uh oh).
Let’s try to remember happy Lauren as long as possible.
Kate tells the guests about a local bar called “Foxy’s” and Carolina, resident not-picky but very picky eater, is not impressed. Still, they all go.
Being pleased is not my “brand.”
Not living up to her villainess status (defined mainly by Rocky), Kate proves to be a “cool mom” by allowing Sierra and Emily to take a swim while the guests are off at the bar.
She tells us she’s happy to finally have two good stews and that they should be rewarded.
It’s just a quick swim. Do you need a tranquilizer?
Soon enough the guests are en route to Foxy’s and the stews get their swim on, including, Nico?
Lauren is watching, starting to get the picture of where his affections truly lie. Nico tells us that Emily reminds him of his ex, and that he’s going to give Kelley some real competition. Sure.
Captain Lee, who alerts them that guests are coming back, brings the mix of underwater shots and Lauren’s ever-worsening sadface to an end.
Always the lifeguard…
The guests are soon back on board, and obviously quite bored at this point, because their idea of fun manifests in a push-ups contest. Can’t wait for that.
No. Please. No.
In the kitchen, Sierra is back to being fun with Ben again, letting us know she’s “stronger than yesterday” and that there’s lavender in her hair to ward off evil spirits, or something. Business as usual.
The push-up contestants are gearing up, quickly letting Kate know the plan – loser has to get waxed. Yikes.
As always, Kate is prepared, quickly unearthing some leftover wax within the boat.
Industrial strength, I hope.
The fur and flab begin to fly, rather embarrassingly, as the contest gets underway.
Kelley and Nico are watching, commenting that it’s like watching walruses mate.
Very soon we have a loser, stopping at a mere 5 push-ups, crowning Sasquatch as the winner.
5? Really?
Being a good sport, but probably just wanting a woman to touch him, Sasquatch agrees to wax part of his back as well.
Time to scorch some skin!
Stop staring at my 6 pack of tits.
Emily serves up vodka shots to all as Kate readies the wax. The primary’s wife begins the hair pulling, which ends up looking extremely painful for the loser.
This much photographic evidence seems like overkill.
The strips stick to the abundant hair, there’s blood, and even Kate claims her heart broke for him, a tiny bit.
So much stretchy skin, such strong roots.
His torture finishes with a kiss on the cheek from Emily, probably making it all worth it.
I paid for this.
Sasquatch is up next, moving into place in slo-mo, to add to our enjoyment of the moment.
He really does have an alarming amount of hair, which looks barely affected by the waxing attempts.
I clean it with Mane ‘n Tail.
Kate removes all the hairy evidence on a silver platter, and the fun is finally over. There’s still time for some disgusting sexual harassment, though, as one guest asks to see Emily’s “V.” GROSS! It’s becoming clearer why the stews are all so thin – loss of appetite on the regular does wonders for the figure.