This episode of Toddlers & Tiaras has this season’s stupidest names and our first group of kids who take sides in the 2016 election. This week’s pageant is the Precious Moments Cowgirls & Crowns pageant in east bufu, Georgia, and it is very lightly attended judging from the “crowd” in the audience.
And don’t forget Vader is here!
Cambrie brings her Landri – and it really is Landri, not Landree from last week, who has the weirdest pageant family. Nini, her “pageant mom” who is actually her cousin or something, Coco, some guy named Colin who is as gay as the day is long, which is odd since these folks are deplorable Trump voters and let us know it via Landri’s verbal diarrhea about Hillary.
Because you’re a hateful dumbass.
Saymone is from North Carolina, and mom Unique (sigh) says Saymone has probably won $10,000 in pageants. After having spent probably ten times that to win. She’s one of Amanda’s girls and has an ego the size of the state. She says she wants to be a doctor or a nurse because she loves money. Then pick doctor, dumbass.
There is Elicia, whose daughter Hallee used to work with Amanda but switched to Cambrie, probably because she’s into girl power since she’s a Hillary supporter. She’s bringing her pageant friend Emighlee. Oh, for fuck’s sake, are you kidding me? When women say LEAN IN, they don’t mean ON THE POLE.
Tragedy of tragedy, Mykel Baca texts Cambrie the night before the pageant to tell her he’s not coming because he’s booked at another pageant. Dude, you really need to hire someone to schedule you, because clearly your Google Calendar skills suck. Also? Really bad advertising for you on this show, commitment-phobe.
Watch out! Cambrie’s boobs are going to jump out and getcha!
We have beauty, followed by Cowgirl Wear/ “talent” and Landri getting physically sick from practicing so much. No spoiler alerts this week, just know that Cambrie brings another celebutard from her Entertainment Friends Network™, moms critique their daughters beyond what should be acceptable, and Amanda quotes Nisa when she says, “Nobody’s perfect but Jesus.” Oh here we go.
Rappin’ your way to a crown…are you?
Full recap coming soon and I will do my best to keep the kid political trash talk to a minimum…like we don’t get enough of that right now!
Right, deplorables that Trump would actually have nothing to do with in the real world?